Darkness and Shadows
by Lynx Ryder
Summary: When Evelyn's car breaks down she is forced to ask a mysterious blind man for help. Can she help him learn to trust again or will he forever have to live with darkness and shadows? (rated for language and scenes of a violent nature)-COMPLETE-
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

The world was blurred at the edges, everything span for a sickening moment until through the haze a face was visible. It was smiling at him, a woman's face he recognised at once. Usually recognition was a positive thing, but not this time. Her face slowly came into focus and he could only stare at her as she began to speak.

"I'm sorry baby, I told you I wasn't interested in your scheme..." He remembered her voice and the way she had spoken those words with playful cruelty. It was just like he was there again strapped to that table in that dark room unable to move an inch. He saw again the doctor advancing upon him with that spinning device in his hand. He couldn't look away from that device; it was the same one that had haunted his nightmares every night for six months. As it came closer he struggled and fought but there was no escape, not this time, not any time. Suddenly all he was aware of was the pain, he screamed and when that didn't work he begged, he pleaded and then he screamed again until he could think of nothing else but the torture. The world went red as the pain continued unrelentingly and then darkness fell, a darkness that would never end.

He woke up screaming, the pain still tearing through him. He would sit bolt upright every night with sweat pouring down his face as the pain faded. At least in his dreams it faded quickly, at least in his dreams he could escape the sound of his own agonising screaming. He heard his own broken breathing, uneven and ragged. He began to shake violently, he would not sleep again that night.


	2. Darkness

_Chapter 1: Darkness_

Her car stalled again. Evelyn restarted the engine with whispers of, "Oh come on, please come on." It purred lazily to life. With hope like a fragile balloon in her chest Evelyn thanked everything she could think of but her relief did not last long. Once again the engine began to stutter and it was very nervously that Evelyn pressed down on the accelerator pedal.

"Come on baby, keep going for me." But the car ignored her. The engine faltered and then died completely. She tried to get it going again several times but the car was adamant it was going to stay right where it was. Evelyn hit the steering wheel in frustration, all she had wanted to do was keep going, every time she stopped she was afraid she would remember... She jerked her mind back to the present situation. She looked around but all she could see was dusty road extending in both directions. Now she was stuck in the middle of Mexico with no phone and no experience of fixing cars. She took a deep breath and forced herself to stay calm; she would think of something.

It was sunset, or nearly sunset, so soon it would be dark. Evelyn pulled the key out of the ignition; she did not want to spend a night alone in the desert. She would go for help, there had to be a town close by. Close by turned out to be two miles away. Evelyn's heavy bag dug into her shoulder as she walked and it wasn't long before the dust thrown up by her boots got in her throat and made her long for water which she had stupidly left in her car. She could see houses in the distance; surely someone would help her there. She moved her hand across her face and hooked a stray strand of her medium length brown hair over her ear, it had fallen out of its ponytail but she couldn't be bothered to stop and redo it now.

The shadows were at their longest when she reached the nearest house. It stood a little apart from the others but Evelyn was too tired and thirsty to even notice. As she got closer she saw a man sitting on the porch half hidden by shadows. A stream of smoke rose from his mouth and Evelyn saw the movement of the hand that must hold the cigarette. He appeared to be dressed all in black; he even wore a pair of dark sunglasses which obscured some of the otherwise pale face. He had shoulder length dark hair and Evelyn imagined he had dark eyes but the glasses prevented her from knowing for sure. She walked closer but the man did not appear to notice her so she was forced to speak.

"Hello?" she said as she got to the porch steps. The man suddenly froze, the cigarette halfway to his mouth. Evelyn stopped dead too confused by the man's response, she had made no secret of her presence, surely he had known she was coming, surely he had seen her. The man did not move or speak, he appeared to be waiting for her to make the next move.

"Um...I was wondering if you could help me?" Evelyn said hesitantly. The man turned his head towards her and without meaning to Evelyn took a step backwards. This man frightened her. Maybe, Evelyn thought rationally, he just didn't speak English so couldn't understand her. This would present quite a serious problem as Evelyn remembered very little of her high school Spanish and had only picked up a few phrases since being in Mexico none of which seemed helpful in this situation.

"Er...senor? I need help...I..." The man's voice cut her off.

"Nino," he said sharply. Evelyn heard running footsteps and a young boy of about eight or nine appeared almost at once.

"Is everything alright senor?" he asked in the voice of a true Mexican, not like the voice of the man at all.

"Who is the woman standing outside my house?" the man asked without looking away from Evelyn. His accent was American. Despite his fierce tone Evelyn was pleased to hear him speaking English. The young boy looked over at her. He smiled widely, his little white teeth showing up vividly against his dark sun baked skin.

"I do not know her senor," he said, "Do you want me go talk to her?" The man gave a small motion with his black gloved hand which presumably meant yes because the boy walked forwards.

"Hi," said Evelyn uncomfortably aware that the man was still staring straight at her, "I need some help, my car's broken down and I would really appreciate..."

"There is a spare room here senorita," said the boy before Evelyn had even finished speaking.

"Don't invite someone into my house without my permission," said the man rising to his feet sounding far from pleased. He was tall and dressed all in black he looked quite chilling.

"But senor Sands," the boy began imploringly.

"It's alright," Evelyn said quickly, "I don't want to cause any trouble." She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder again resisting the urge to groan and began to walk away.

The man sat down and resumed smoking as if nothing had happened. Evelyn heard the little boy speak again.

"Oh senor," he said sounding disappointed, "She only needs a place to stay for one night."

"I don't want anyone staying the night," the man replied, "She's lucky I didn't smoke her."

"But she's all alone senor, and it's getting dark," said the boy persuasively.

"It's always dark," said the man bitterly.

"I know senor," said the boy sadly, "I'm sorry, I'll get back to..."

"Oh alright," said the man reluctantly, "Call her back."

"Pardon senor?"

"Invite her back," snapped the man.

Evelyn heard running footsteps behind her. She turned and saw the little boy grinning up at her; he looked very pleased with himself.

"Senor Sands would like you to stay the night," he said a little breathlessly. Evelyn looked over to the porch, where the man, Sands, appeared to be watching them. Evelyn smiled at him but he did not smile back.

"Do you want me to carry your bag senorita?" the boy asked.

"No, it's ok," replied Evelyn, "I can manage." She did not want the young lad hurting himself by trying to shoulder the heavy load. When they reached the house the boy asked if she wanted a drink. She replied yes at once. With that the little boy scampered off leaving Evelyn standing awkwardly while Sands continued to smoke.

"Sit down," he commanded. Evelyn did so, the chair creaking slightly under her weight. Her bag lay beside her.

"It's very kind of you to let me stay," she said gratefully.

"You should thank Nino, I don't want you here." Evelyn felt frightened again, if she had had anywhere else to go she would not have remained in this man's company for a moment longer. She wished Sands would take off his sunglasses, it was almost dark anyway.

"Let me introduce myself," Evelyn said hoping to break the ice, "I'm Evelyn Willuns."

She extended her hand but retracted it when Sands did not move.

"Sands," he said and much to Evelyn's confusion he now extended his own hand. Evelyn shook it feeling the soft leather against her palm.

"Your water senorita," announced Nino holding out a large glass with three ice cubes floating on top.

"Thank you," said Evelyn and she proceeded to drink deeply feeling the cold liquid sooth her parched throat. Nino nudged her bag underneath her chair with his foot. As Evelyn drank she looked at Sands over the top of her glass. He was really very pale, especially for someone who lives under the hot Mexican sun. He looked ill and Evelyn immediately felt guilty for intruding.

"Where's my lighter?" Sands asked abruptly. It was right in front of him on the table. Nino picked it up and placed it in Sands' hand.

"Here you are senor," he said quietly.

"Thanks," said Sands almost begrudgingly. He lit another cigarette and let the smoke stream out of his nose. There was silence for a little while. Sands seemed determined to be unwelcoming.

"Shall I show senorita where she'll sleep?" Nino asked. Sands gave a short nod and continued to smoke.

"Follow me," Nino said to Evelyn and this time he didn't ask before grabbing her bag and entering the house. It was dark inside so Nino flicked on the lights. Several of the light bulbs in the living room weren't working so the light was gloomy at best.

"I find it hard to change them," explained Nino, "So I only do it when I have to."

"Can't Sands do it?" asked Evelyn not knowing why Nino should have to change light bulbs when there was an adult in the house. Nino looked at her, eyes bright in the half light.

"He's blind senorita," he said quietly.

"Oh," Evelyn breathed feeling very stupid. Suddenly everything made sense. She cringed when she thought about how insensitive she had been.

"Was he born blind?" Evelyn asked although she thought she already knew the answer.

"Oh no senorita," said Nino, "Six months ago he is seeing perfectly." Evelyn wasn't sure whether Nino stopped because he didn't want to tell her more or because he didn't know the right words in English. Evelyn was jogged back to focussing on the present when Nino opened a door which was directly off the living room.

"This is the spare room senorita," he said as he lay down her bag and held the door open for her. It was a small room, unused even for storage. The bed was made but looked like it had never been used. A fine layer of dust lay over all the surfaces and there was a well established cobweb in one corner. As Evelyn's eyes returned to Nino she saw he was looking extremely guilty.

"I'm sorry senorita," he said twisting his hands in front of him, "I haven't been cleaning this room often, senor needs me for many things."

"It's alright," said Evelyn and seeing the worried look on Nino's face she added, "I won't tell senor." Nino shot her a thankful smile. Evelyn walked over to the large window, it looked out of the front of the house beyond the porch but Evelyn could not see much now as it was almost totally dark. She opened the window and felt the cool night breeze breath life into the room at once.

"It's perfect," she said. Nino looked about to speak but he turned away sharply as the sounds of Sands cursing loudly from the porch reached their ears.

Nino hurried back to him with Evelyn close behind. She somehow already knew it was her fault. Sands was standing completely still, Evelyn's chair on its side in front of him. She had left it out and clearly Sands had walked straight into it. Nino righted the chair and tucked it neatly under the table out of the way. All the time he spoke in soft Spanish. He took Sands' hand and led him forwards. Evelyn could see how much Sands depended on the boy.

"I'm sorry," Evelyn said as they walked past. Sands was still cursing under his breath. He stopped, turned in Evelyn's direction and said angrily, "Don't move anything else." Each word rang in Evelyn's ears as Nino and Sands disappeared into the house. She stood for a minute in the gathering darkness, the porch still smelt of Sands' cigarettes. She was afraid to go into the house, afraid of feeling ever more like an intruder and most of all she was afraid of doing anything else to make Sands angry. How had she not guessed Sands was blind? He had just seemed to know exactly what was in front of him; he had looked at her...or had at least appeared to. Why had she been so careless?

When she entered the house again it was dark and not knowing where the light switch was Evelyn found her way to her room by moonlight. She hoped she could make it up with Sands the next day. She undressed wondering what life would be like without her sight. She lay on the bed and closed her eyes glad that when she opened them she could see the world around her.

It was a hot night so Evelyn left the bedroom door open so air could flow right through the room and over her as she slept. She was fast asleep in no time and didn't hear the scream from Sands' room.

Sands felt the pain again and woke to his own screaming. He sat up, breathing fast. Dreams linger longer when you cannot distract your brain with other images. Sands got up and staggered to the bathroom. He was promptly sick into the toilet. He sat on the bathroom floor for a long time waiting for his head to stop aching. He was still shaking despite the warmth of the night. He got slowly to his feet. Would there ever be a time when he did not relive that terrible day? He was on his way back to his bedroom when he heard a sleepy moan and remembered there was that woman asleep in his house. She was the first person to sleep in the spare room, the first guest in Sands' house full stop.

The CIA had paid him off to keep him quiet. They didn't want anyone knowing when something happened to an agent. They hadn't come to help him, they had cut him off completely leaving Sands with a lot of money but more pain than he had ever had in his life. Without Nino he wouldn't have made it this far, that was for certain. It was Nino who made sure he went to the hospital, Nino who picked up his medication, Nino who had found the house and Nino who had done everything a blind man can't do by himself. Sands rewarded the kid with money and lots of it but he knew Nino only took what he needed. The kid was gold.

Evelyn turned in her sleep and then something made her sit bolt upright. Standing in the doorway, leaning against the door frame was Sands, again dressed all in black.

"Oh!" said Evelyn recovering from the horrible feeling that waking suddenly gives you, "I didn't see you there."

"I didn't see you either," said Sands blankly and he walked off. Evelyn sank back onto her pillow feeling suddenly drained; this was not how she had wanted to start the morning.

Sands and Nino were seated outside at the table on the porch when Evelyn found them. Sands looked up as she approached, he must have heard footsteps. Nino, who hadn't heard her coming but had noticed Sands, turned, his grin deeply welcoming.

"Good morning senorita," he said, "Good sleep?"

"Yes, very good," replied Evelyn, "Thank you." She didn't advance any closer as there were only two chairs both of which were occupied. Sands stood up.

"You can sit here," he said a little flatly as if doing this was painful to him, "I'll get another chair."

"Oh, it's ok. I'll get it," said Evelyn eager to ingratiate herself to Sands. Instead of looking grateful or pleased Sands scowled.

"I am perfectly capable," he said in a dangerously low voice before walking straight past her and reappearing moments later with a chair.

"Thank you," said Evelyn meekly and they both sat down. Nino poured her a glass of orange juice and offered her some toast, Evelyn accepted. Sands was still looking displeased while Nino innocently occupied himself with his breakfast. Evelyn decided to have a stab at conversation.

"So," she said, "Have you lived in Mexico all your life?" Nino looked up.

"I think she was talking to you senor," he said.

"Oh," said Sands. He turned to Evelyn.

"No," he said simply before turning away. Evelyn felt thoroughly intimidated but bravely carried on.

"Been here long then?" she asked.

"A while," replied Sands in a bored sort of voice. Evelyn took a deep breath, to stop herself getting upset more than anything.

"This is a lovely house," she said trying to find a subject that would provoke Sands into producing more than hatefully short answers.

"Is it?" Sands asked sarcastically, "Thanks for telling me, I have never seen it before." He pushed his chair back and went into the house. Evelyn looked after him in dismay wondering if there was anything she could say that wouldn't offend him.

"Senorita?" Evelyn looked round and saw Nino watching her own his bowl.

"Yes?" she said fixing a friendly smile on her face.

"You must excuse senor," Nino said, "He has trust for no one anymore, not after his eyes..."

"It's ok," said Evelyn feeling a lot of warmth towards the little boy, "I understand."

"Understand?! How could you possibly understand?!" roared Sands from inside the house, "You have no fucking idea!" There came the definite sound of something glass breaking.

"Nino get in here right now and tell that stupid senorita to fuck off before I..." His next words were drowned by the sound of something else breaking which was probably just as well. Nino shot an apologetic look at Evelyn before hurrying inside obediently.

Evelyn left as soon as she had grabbed her bag. She did not look back at the house so no one saw the two tears that ran down her face as she hurried away.


	3. Getting to know Sands

_Chapter 2: Getting to know Sands_

In town Evelyn found someone to fix her car. Once it was repaired she could drive further into the country and maybe even find somewhere to call home for a while. The mechanic told her, in very bad English, that the car would take at least three days to fix so Evelyn found a pleasant little hotel which was close to the market and to several restaurants that Evelyn thought looked nice. After depositing her stuff in her room she went on a long walk in order to get her bearings.

The market was noisy with stall holders all trying to sell their wares. Evelyn was approached several times by children offering to sell anything from clothes pegs to necklaces. Evelyn did not buy anything from them; she did not want to be known as the rich lady to be targeted. She felt guilty of course, she thought of how hard their lives must be, they were little more than beggars.

Evelyn explored until the sun became too hot. She returned to her hotel and closed the shutters in an attempt to keep the room cool. She picked up a book she had only recently started but couldn't get into it. She thought about getting out one of her sketchbooks but she already knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate. She also seemed to know the reason and it wasn't the one that had driven her to come to Mexico in the first place. She couldn't seem to get Sands out of her head. His anger hiding what must be an intense pain, his remarkable ability to notice things without sight, his bitterness. Evelyn was still afraid of him but she was more afraid of the thought of angering him than the man himself. Nino had said he didn't trust anyone any more, that Evelyn could well believe. What had happened six months ago that ended in Sands losing his sight? Evelyn grabbed her room key from the bedside table; she was restless and needed to get out again.

As Evelyn walked around the almost deserted streets an image of Sands seemed to be pasted in front of her eyes. His pale face, dark glasses and even darker manner. Whatever had happened to him he had never got over it. Evelyn thought of how angry he was and concluded that it couldn't be much fun living in a world of eternal darkness. She wasn't sure if she could but she was determined to help. After all, whether he had wanted to or not, he had helped her by letting her stay the night.

All thoughts of driving away faded even though Evelyn now had her car back with a clean bill of health. She found that she wasn't thinking about the thing that most scared her either; it seemed that Sands was wiping everything else from her mind. She sat in the restaurant just opposite her hotel. The Spanish name of it made her smile, translated into English it was 'The Flying Cow.' She ordered and saw observing people coming and going. Gradually the restaurant began to fill up and the noise level slowly rose. Evelyn was nearly finished with her main course when a waiter approached her.

"Excuse me senorita but would you mind sharing your table as we have run out of space?" he asked.

"No problem," said Evelyn, "I'm almost finished anyway." The waiter flashed her a grateful smile and a moment later Evelyn was joined by two men. They said hello in Spanish, sat down and began to study their menus. They looked similar; Evelyn thought they might be brothers or at least relatives of some sort. They were both average height for a Mexican man, dark skinned and dark haired. They had identical drooping moustaches hanging down over their top lips. The only obvious difference between them was that one man wore a wide brimmed hat while the other had on display his greasy, centrally parted black hair. The man wearing the hat saw Evelyn looking at him and smiled toothily revealing a few gaps. He said something in rapid Spanish but Evelyn shook her head quickly.

"I don't speak Spanish senor," she said apologetically.

"Ah, an American lady," said the man with the hat, "That explains why you are so pale. No problemo, me and my brother here speak the English very well." His brother gave a curt nod; he did not seem like the talkative type.

"So what's a pretty lady like you doing all alone?" asked the man with the hat. Evelyn could tell it wasn't intended as a chat up line, it was just a friendly question to begin a conversation with. Evelyn was not about to divulge the real reason for her stay in Mexico, but she also did not lie.

"I'm on holiday really," she said, "Taking a break from it all."

"Sounds good," said the Mexican, "Do you have any friends or family out here?" Evelyn didn't know quite why she did it but the decision to embellish the truth a little was unconscious, it happened before she could change her mind.

"I only know one person out here," she replied, "He lives quite near here actually, I wonder if you know him."

"Speak his name senorita," said the Mexican, "I'm sure if he lives around here me or my brother will have heard of him."

"His name's Sands," said Evelyn casually. She noticed the name had an immediate effect. The Mexican without the hat looked startled; he looked at his brother who also looked a little shocked.

"Agent Sands?" the Mexican with the hat asked. His brother was looking at Evelyn with a worried look on his face.

"Yes," said Evelyn presuming that this was the same man. Was he really an agent? An agent for which organisation?

"His name is not said lightly around here senorita," said the Mexican dropping his voice so there was less chance he could be heard, "How do you know him?"

"Oh, I don't know him very well," said Evelyn, "He's a friend of a friend really."

"Ah," said the Mexican, "It makes sense that you speak his name so freely if you do not know him well." Evelyn was intrigued.

"I take it you know him then," she said.

"I've heard about him senorita, everyone here knows of him but no one actually knows him," explained the Mexican.

"He's a dangerous man," said the other Mexican very quietly his eyes shifting from side to side, "We shouldn't be talking about him." The Mexican with the hat ignored his brother.

"He's a member of the CIA," he said looking pleased when Evelyn's face registered interest, "Very influential around here despite being blind." Evelyn wondered how much these men knew; she decided to try them out.

"He wasn't always blind though," she said hoping that one of them would take the prompt and respond.

"No," said the Mexican, "But no one knows what happened to him. If you are wise senorita you will stay clear of him."

"So he doesn't speak to anyone?" Evelyn asked. The Mexican shook his head which made his hat wobble.

"Not anyone around here," he said.

"Have you ever seen him?" asked Evelyn wondering how much of the information the man was giving her had been passed through ten different men before reaching her.

"Si," said the man, "I've seen him twice in this very restaurant. Always orders the same thing, the peurco pibil with a tequila and lime. The last time was over a month ago now, dreadfully pale he was like a ghost. Everyone avoids him if they can. Rumour has it he's got half the town bribed and the other half blackmailed."

"Why is everyone so scared of him?" Evelyn asked. The Mexican leaned across the table and spoke in a low voice barely above a whisper.

"Because he carries a gun with him at all times," he said his eyes wide, "And he's not afraid to use it."

"But he's blind," said Evelyn. How dangerous could a blind gunman be?

"Don't underestimate him senorita, it will be your end," warned the Mexican, "I've seen him with my own eyes. The waiter tried to cheat him out of money; he had three bullets in his chest before he could do anything about it. Died right there on the floor in a pool of his own blood. And Agent Sands simply walked out, stepping right over him."

"Your meals senors," said the waiter in Spanish. The man with the hat leaned back to allow his huge meal to be placed in front of him. Evelyn said good night to the two Mexicans, paid her bill and left. Her head was buzzing from all the information she had been given. A CIA agent? A feared man? A very dangerous man? Some parts of the puzzle were beginning to fit together but there was so much she didn't know and so much she wanted to know. She had only stopped her questioning and left the restaurant because she had noticed the silent Mexican becoming more and more uncomfortable as the conversation had progressed. If she wasn't very much mistaken she had even seen him sweating in the candle light. Sands certainly had quite a reputation.

It was a week later that she finally plucked up the courage to return to that dark house. She had terrible nerves all the way from the hotel up the road to where the house was set apart almost purposefully away from the rest of the town to suit Sands. The funny thing was that as she drew closer the nerves began to die away when she had expected quite the reverse.

Sands was sitting on the porch again. He had a black cowboy hat on which shielded his face from the sun which was still hot even this late in the afternoon. Evelyn knew he had heard her footsteps even from this distance because he appeared to be looking directly at her.

"Hi Sands," said Evelyn when she got closer enough for him to hear her. A small smile appeared on Sands' face which surprised Evelyn, it faded very quickly though.

"What do you want Miss Evelyn?" he asked. Evelyn was glad he couldn't see the slightly impressed look she was giving him; she certainly had not expected him to recognise her voice.

"I wanted to thank you properly," she said walking slowly forwards. Again the flicker of a smile, it seemed she was getting it right this time.

"Is that right?" he asked with obvious amusement.

"Yep," said Evelyn.

"Even after I shouted at you?"

"Even after you shouted at me," said Evelyn, "I want to make you dinner."

"Then why have you come this early?" asked Sands guardedly. He knew full well it was halfway through the afternoon, he had only just been told the time by Nino.

"Ah well, that would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it?" said Evelyn mysteriously, "I brought everything I need with me." Sands said nothing.

"So is it ok if I come in?" Evelyn asked thinking it best to obtain certain permission before presuming anything. Sands seemed to be considering this for a moment.

"Ok," he said and he wasn't totally able to hide the keenness from his voice. Evelyn, pleased with herself, walked up the porch steps and Sands' sunglasses followed her every movement.

"I'll just go and put this stuff in the kitchen," said Evelyn.

"I guess I'll have to show you where it is then," said Sands getting reluctantly to his feet. Evelyn was about to say she was sure she could find it herself when she stopped herself, Sands already knew that. He wasn't entirely sure why he didn't just aim at a gun at this woman and shoot her straight to fucking broadway. He had always told himself he would never even think about letting another woman into his house but here she was, about to cook him dinner. He felt very conflicted but, as Evelyn began to hum to herself while she walked, Sands knew very well he was not about to throw her out of his house, what he didn't know was what had made him change his mind.

It was a small kitchen but Nino had kept it spotlessly clean. The highest shelves weren't used at all, Nino couldn't reach them and Sands couldn't see them. Evelyn unpacked the things she had already prepared, Sands stood in the kitchen doorway. If he hadn't been blind Evelyn would have said he was keeping an eye on proceedings.

"So how have you been?" Evelyn asked as she rummaged around in drawers for utensils. Sands took his time in answering.

"Fine," he said at last. Evelyn smiled.

"That's good," she said cheerfully, "Is Nino around?"

"Shopping," said Sands simply.

"Oh, I'm sorry to intrude when you had some time to yourself," said Evelyn as she unfolded some banana leaves.

"That's ok," said Sands and something in his tone made Evelyn ask, "You're not glad of the company are you?"

"Something like that," said Sands indifferently.

"I'm finished for the moment," said Evelyn, "Shall we go back to the porch? This takes an age to cook."

They sat down opposite each other. Evelyn freely admitted to herself that Sands was handsome in a haunting sort of a way. His open hostility hinted at the possibility of a softer core and then there was his obvious vulnerability, his need to trust people and his reluctance to do so. She wondered why she was sitting with him, why he hadn't simply refused to have anything more to do with her but before she could think any more on the subject Sands' voice sliced sharply through her thoughts.

"Are you just going to stare at me?" he asked. Evelyn was taken aback and apparently Sands knew this too.

"I can tell," he said smirking with pleasure as he imagined Evelyn's expression, "Pass me my cigarettes." Evelyn passed him the packet; he took one and lit it. He inhaled deeply and then released the smoke in one slow stream from his mouth.

"So what brings you to Mexico Miss Evelyn?" he asked, "You don't live here do you?"

"No," replied Evelyn, she already knew she would tell Sands the closest version of the truth that she dared tell, "I quit my job and decided to take some time off."

"Fair enough," said Sands with a shrug, "So do you have a place to go or are you just a free spirit?"

"I'm going wherever I feel like at the moment," said Evelyn. She had the horrible feeling that Sands was finding this conversation amusing.

"You staying here long then?" he asked. He asked this in a would be casual voice but Evelyn noticed that he stopped smoking as he waited for the answer.

"I haven't decided," she said honestly, "I guess it depends."

"On what?"

"On everything." Sands resumed his smoking, all traces of amusement gone. Evelyn decided to risk asking a question of her own.

"How long have you been in Mexico?" She had asked this before and Sands had given her the vaguest answer possible, perhaps this time he would respond more satisfactorily.

"Three years," said Sands, "Something like that, I tend to lose track of time."

"What brought you out here?" Evelyn asked eager not to let on that she already knew a bit about him but maybe she had done by mistake because Sands suddenly looked suspicious.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked harshly.

"I was only interested," said Evelyn, "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." Sands relaxed a little.

"I came here because of my job," he said almost painfully, "I used to work for the CIA and Mexico was my beat."

"Oh," said Evelyn and she decided not to press the issue. Sands heaved a deep sigh and asked, "Is it sunset yet?"

"Almost," replied Evelyn looking at the sky.

"Will you describe it to me?" Sands asked quietly. For a moment Evelyn was quite sure she hadn't heard him right. He looked ready to be defensive and if she dared laugh at him so help him he would...

"Sure," she said and without another word she moved her chair so she was facing in the same direction as Sands. She was right next to him now, almost but not quite touching.

"The shadows are getting longer," said Evelyn, "The alleyways are already cloaked in darkness. The sides of all the houses are being painted orange, not a fiery orange, it's more yellow than that. The sun is only just touching the dark horizon, the sky immediately around it is a dazzling gold but even now it's beginning to darken like the sky above which is navy blue streaked with purple clouds. The buildings are losing their colour now and are turning grey."

"It's getting colder," said Sands as the sun sunk ever lower.

"The sun's almost gone now and you can just about make out the first few stars as the sky turns from blue to black and all other colour fades." Evelyn fell silent. Sands seemed lost in his own world until quite suddenly he seemed to remember where he was and what had just happened. He turned to Evelyn his expression vicious.

"Don't go around thinking I owe you something now," he said nastily. Evelyn blinked.

"I..."

"I don't need a comment," said Sands and Evelyn closed her mouth, she found she wasn't as frightened of Sands' temper as she was before. Sands snarled and then suddenly turned away and looked towards the road. Evelyn thought he just didn't want to look at her but then he spoke.

"Nino's coming," he said his voice softer again. It was a little while before Evelyn heard the little boy's bicycle coming up the road towards them, during that time Sands' sudden fierceness evaporated. As Nino cycled closer he rang the bell on the handlebars. Sands shuddered beside her but the night really wasn't that cold.

"Are you alright?" Evelyn asked almost putting her hand on his arm but deciding against it thinking of what Sands might do to her if she did. Sands gave a short nod.

"Senor, I'm sorry I was so long..." began Nino as he got off his bike but he stopped when he saw Evelyn sitting right next to Sands, "Senorita!" Evelyn smiled at him. Nino looked nothing short of thrilled.

"You have the night off," said Sands to the boy, "Senorita is cooking dinner."

"Si senor," said Nino as he bounded into the house with his bags of shopping grinning from ear to ear.

"Let me help you," said Evelyn and she followed him inside with the remaining bags.

When she reached the kitchen Nino grabbed her arm.

"I knew you'd come back senorita!" he said excitedly, "I knew senor Sands wouldn't scare you away."

"Does he scare you?" Evelyn asked thinking of his sudden outburst only minutes before.

"No senorita, senor Sands is good to me. I help him and he give me money."

"I see," said Evelyn, "And he is kind to you?"

"Si," said Nino seriously, "He like me and he like you too senorita, I just know it."

"Ok," said Evelyn deciding not to ask anything about Sands' sudden mood swings for fear of wiping the look of happiness from the boy's face. She had some things to prepare for the dinner so she stayed in the kitchen while a joyful Nino went back to join Sands.


	4. Peurco Pibil

_Chapter 3: Peurco Pibil_

It was completely dark now. Nino had lit several candles on the table and warned Sands to be careful of them. The candles and the moon were now the only light, and neither of them were very strong. Evelyn was still in the kitchen, Sands could hear her humming to herself as she put the finishing touches on dinner.

"Is she beautiful Nino?" Sands suddenly asked and Nino knew he could only be talking about one person.

"Si senor, she is very beautiful," replied Nino sincerely. He saw the ghost of a smile cross Sands' lips.

"I knew that," he said. Some things you don't have to see.

Evelyn served dinner inside. She had expected some sort of response when she told them what it was but Sands didn't say a word, not even when she offered him tequila with some lime. The only one who really talked while they ate was Nino who described his day at the market colourfully between mouthfuls of pork. Evelyn knew he was trying to paint a picture for Sands, much as she had tried to do with the sunset. Sands did not say anything until Nino finally got to the end of his tale and fell silent.

"Why'd you quit your job?" Sands asked quite unexpectedly.

"Oh," said Evelyn caught by surprise, "I didn't like the boss." She shot a quick look at Nino who didn't seem to be listening very intently.

"Mm," said Sands in a knowing voice, "Did you fuck him?"

"Sands!" Evelyn cried looking in horror at Nino who hadn't even looked up from his food.

"Relax," said Sands impatiently, "I taught the kid all the English he knows, and I chose to leave out a few words." Evelyn still felt it was inappropriate but didn't say anything.

"Well, did you?" prompted Sands. Clearly he wasn't just going to let this go.

"No," replied Evelyn feeling her cheeks burning, "I wasn't interested."

"Ah but he was and there lies the problem," said Sands who sounded more animated than Evelyn had heard him so far.

"Yes," said Evelyn feeling very uncomfortable. Sands gave an amused smile before saying, "So you left before he could corner you in an office lift, am I right?"

"Actually it was the stationary cupboard," corrected Evelyn, "And no, I didn't quite leave fast enough."

"But he didn't..?" asked Sands his tone suddenly quite serious.

"I fought him off," said Evelyn who felt cold at the memory. Sands relaxed.

"Good," he said, "I would have smoked the fucker." He didn't see Evelyn turn pale and grip the table rather hard.

"Good meal by the way," Sands added unceremoniously, "How did you know?"

"Know what?" Evelyn asked all too glad that the conversation had changed.

"That I liked peurco pibil," said Sands calmly, "Seems a bit of an odd choice of meal if you didn't already know I liked it." Evelyn felt like her insides had suddenly frozen, she had to make up something or tell the truth and risk Sands being angry, but whatever she did she'd have to do it quickly or he'd...

"I told her senor," said Nino. Evelyn looked at him and saw him warn her to be quiet with his eyes.

"You told her?" Sands asked sceptically, "When?"

"The last time she was here senor," said Nino, "She noticed the bottle of tequila." Sands sat back seemingly convinced enough to stop questioning them. Evelyn mouthed a quick thank you to Nino who shot her a small scared looking smile. He wasn't used to lying to Sands and he didn't like it. Lying to Sands was like lying to his father, it was making him feel so ill that he couldn't manage to finish his meal. If Sands had been able to see he would have seen the guilt printed all over Nino's young face.

Evelyn and Nino washed up together in silence, neither daring to speak about what had happened in case Sands was listening. They weren't to know that Sands had already heard the lie in Nino's voice and was presently trying to work out why Nino would want to protect Evelyn like that. And how exactly had Evelyn found out his favourite meal if she hadn't asked Nino? Who had she been talking to? He was fairly sure that she would only have innocently come across the information but then why had Nino covered up for her? He shook his head; perhaps he was just being too suspicious. He had no reason not to trust Nino after all and every reason in the world to trust him with his life.

"Shall we rejoin Sands?" Evelyn asked when the dishes were stacked neatly to dry. Nino poked his head out of the doorway to check it was safe to talk and then whispered, "Who did you talk to about senor Sands?"

"Only a couple of locals," replied Evelyn feeling apprehensive, "I didn't snoop around or anything."

"Senor Sands has many enemies senorita," said Nino very quietly, "Many people who..." He stopped at once as Sands entered the kitchen.

"You two are standing in the kitchen doorway," he said bluntly, "Is something wrong?" Nino looked up at Evelyn to get them out of trouble.

"No," said Evelyn lightly, "We have just finished the dishes and were coming to join you." Sands looked faintly disbelieving but didn't say anything.

They were all seated in the dimly lit living room. Evelyn made a mental note to buy some new light bulbs the next time she was at the market.

"Did you get your car fixed?" Sands asked remembering the reason why Evelyn had turned up on his doorstep in the first place.

"Yes, it's working now," replied Evelyn pleased that at last Sands was talking to her and making an effort with conversation that didn't involve anything too personal.

"Is it an old car?" he asked.

"Very."

"Why don't you buy a new one?" Evelyn got the distinct impression that Sands was only asking questions to find out the information he wanted, his intelligence background was showing through.

"I don't have the money," Evelyn said stiffly. So she was financially challenged, this interested Sands, but this time he wisely decided to change the subject and begin a new line of questioning.

"What's your profession?" he asked.

"Well, I'm an artist," said Evelyn. Sands' face registered some sort of internal pain as she said this.

"Painting?" he asked spitting out the word as if it was poison.

"Mostly," said Evelyn failing to pick up on Sands' negative tone and adding modestly, "I'm not very good."

"I'm not very good with art," said Sands sardonically, "It all looks the same to me." Without thinking Evelyn said, "You're not missing anything." She instantly knew she had said the wrong thing as Sands' face was now the picture of anger.

"Oh really?" he spat, "Not missing much, eh?" Evelyn tried to retract her statement but even as she spoke she knew the damage was done.

"Just get the fuck out!" yelled Sands who was on his feet now, his rage overtaking him before he could do anything about it. His raised voice woke Nino who had been dozing, curled like a cat, on one of the chairs. He too tried to pacify Sands but Sands was livid now. Evelyn thought he was going to hit her or something but instead he just stood looking threatening and muttering what sounded like Spanish curse words under his breath. She backed away from him but didn't leave; Sands somehow knew she had not gone.

"I said get the fuck out!" he repeated as he almost pushed Nino over in an attempt to stop the boy from trying to calm him down. Evelyn hurried outside. She was on the porch steps when she heard Sands roar, "And don't fucking come back!"

She ran all the way back to her hotel, shut the door behind her and sank onto her bed feeling horribly shaky. How quickly Sands' mood could turn! Just when she had been sure Sands was warming to her. She sighed and hoped Sands wasn't taking his anger out on Nino, somehow she doubted it; there appeared to be real affection between the two of them though she was pretty sure Sands would never admit to it. Sands never got angry with Nino, not like he did with her.

She didn't dare venture back to Sands' house, the look on his face as she had left was more than enough to keep her away this time but she still stayed in town. She pretended to herself that she liked the scenery; she pretended that she had made the choice to stay here, pretended not to know the real reason behind the payment for another week at her hotel. It was a pleasant enough town but there was nothing in the average streets and shops to inspire a young painter. As a consequence Evelyn found her canvases remained stubbornly blank despite her best efforts to decorate them. She was trying to paint during the heat of the day, five days after she had run out of Sands' house. Trying to paint was the best way to describe it; she was standing with her paintbrush in hand just staring at the daunting expanse of white as the minutes ticked by. Finally Evelyn threw her paintbrush at the wall in frustration. It was too hot to read, too hot to sleep, too hot to do anything but swelter. Evelyn threw herself onto her bed tears of exasperation pricking at her eyelids. She sat upright when she heard a knock at her door. Slowly she went to open it feeling rather nervous, she hated opening the door to strangers, but she needn't have worried. Standing outside her door wearing a grin that could outshine the sun was Nino.

"Greetings senorita," he said as he bounced on the balls of his feet, "Senor Sands wishes to speak to you over lunch if you're not too busy."

"He does?" Evelyn asked in surprise.

"Si," said Nino his grin positively infectious, "He is waiting for you across the street."

Evelyn frowned. "But that restaurant doesn't open until four." Nino's eyes glittered.

"Senor Sands is an important man" he said, "No where stays shut for him."

Evelyn walked into the restaurant. It was mercifully cool, a stark contrast from the street immediately outside. Sands was sitting at a table smoking and looking quite at home. Evelyn's shoes clicked on the polished wooden floor as she walked up to him. Sands stubbed out his cigarette.

"You can come closer," he said when she stopped, "I won't bite."

"Are you sure?" Evelyn asked as she sat down. Sands inhaled deeply.

"Not entirely," he replied.

"At least you're honest," said Evelyn then she added, "I didn't mean to make you angry before."

"I know," said Sands.

"It's ok," said Evelyn kindly and she reached across the table and touched Sands' gloved hand. He gave a sort of soft half gasp but said nothing. Evelyn did not remove her hand until the waitress came with the menu. The woman did not place a menu in front of Sands; clearly she had been given her orders. Sands did not order any food at all; he simply sat smoking while Evelyn ate hers. Usually Evelyn would have found this off putting but some how knowing Sands couldn't see her put her at ease.

"Not much gives me pleasure any more," said Sands in a wistful voice to himself more than to Evelyn, "Things tend to lose their meaning when you can't see them." He didn't seem to want a response, Evelyn wasn't sure she could have given one anyway.

Sands paid for everything and the money had just been taken away when Nino arrived. Evelyn was just wondering how Nino had timed his arrival so well when she was distracted by Sands standing up.

"You are welcome at my house at any time Miss Evelyn," he said and Evelyn knew this was a Sands apology for his behaviour. She was happy to accept.

"Thank you," she said, "I'll be sure to visit." Sands nodded and then Nino took hold of his hand. Sands looked, for a fleeting instant, slightly resentful at this total dependence but the look was gone almost immediately, he was used to it now. Ever since he had first stepped into a world that would be forever dark Nino had taken on the task of being his guide without complaint. There were some things that money could never repay; sometimes gratitude can be too hard to put into words.

* * *

Thank you to everyone who has read my story and reviewed so far...I am very grateful! Sorry this chapter was a little on the short side, I hope to make them longer again soon.

(returns to her lair to begin the next chapter)


	5. Broken glass and dark shadows

_Chapter 4: Broken glass and dark shadows_

It was Friday night and Evelyn was standing on an ancient looking step ladder screwing light bulbs into their fixings in Sands' house. Nino was holding the rusty ladder steady but Evelyn still didn't feel very safe. Sands was sitting in his favourite chair in the corner, he wasn't facing completely in their direction and he knew it but he was listening to them. Evelyn knew he was listening too; he seemed to prefer listening to talking. She guessed he had needed to listen a lot when he was in the CIA; maybe it just came naturally to him. She looked over at him; she couldn't really imagine him fighting the good fight. Had losing his eyesight changed him dramatically? She didn't know anything else about Sands' past, ever since talking to those two Mexicans she hadn't mentioned Sands to anyone and Sands had not told her anything more.

"Careful senorita," came Nino's voice. Evelyn had not been concentrating on what she was doing at all. She was jolted back to reality and realised she was leaning too far over; she gave a little cry as the ladder wobbled dangerously beneath her. The light bulb she was holding slipped from her hand and smashed as she began to fall. She screwed her eyes shut but never hit the floor. Instead she felt two strong arms catch her and she opened her eyes. Sands was holding her close to his chest, he had caught her. For a moment Evelyn was speechless, Nino did not have that problem.

"Oh senor!" he cried in amazement, "You saved her!" The rest of his words were in jubilant Spanish.

"Are you ok?" Sands asked quietly while Nino continued to celebrate.

"Yes," Evelyn said as she found her voice again. Sands gently set her on her feet, glass crunched as she put her weight down on the floor.

"Thank you," Evelyn breathed. Sands gave one of his rare quick smiles and stepped backwards so they weren't so close.

"You should be more careful," he said, a trace of laughter in his voice. Evelyn gave a shaky laugh. She looked around.

"I better clean this mess up," she said as she took in the remains of the fallen light bulb.

"I would help," said Sands shrugging as he returned to his chair. Evelyn went into the kitchen to locate a dustpan and brush. This left Nino and Sands alone.

"She was smiling senor," said Nino as he picked up the bigger pieces of glass and placed them carefully in the palm of his hand.

"What?" asked Sands abruptly. The boy sounded pleased with himself, Sands hated it when he got like that.

"You made senorita smile," Nino said suggestively just before Evelyn returned. She began to sweep up the mess.

"I'm so clumsy," she said, "I really am sorry, I just can't seem to do anything right." She felt something inside her fighting for release but held it at bay.

"That's not true," said Sands who was once again not facing her but facing the far wall instead, "You can cook."

"Ok," admitted Evelyn, "But that was only one meal on one night."

"You can't expect to be good at everything all the time," said Sands fairly.

"I'd like to be good at something though," said Evelyn as she straightened up, "Something no one can take away."

"Everything can be taken away," said Sands bitterly and Evelyn saw one of his gloved hands had balled itself into a fist. Evelyn almost asked him then, almost asked how he had become blind, she probably would have asked if Nino hadn't chosen that moment to interrupt.

"Do you want coffee senior?"

With all the glass safely cleared away Evelyn sat down. She sat on a chair near Sands who adjusted his sunglasses absently. Evelyn was watching him closely when he turned to her, with amazing accuracy considering he could not see her.

"What is it you want to find here Evelyn?" he asked, "Is it money? Security? Freedom?" Evelyn thought about this before answering.

"I don't know quite what I want," she replied, "I suppose I do want security, who doesn't? I want a place away from everything that has gone before."

"Want my advice?" asked Sands.

"Of course," said Evelyn.

"Don't ever look to other people to give you what you want, because if someone can give it to you then someone can take it away." Sands looked deadened for a moment.

"Do you trust anyone at all?" Evelyn asked.

"No," said Sands truthfully, "I learnt not to trust people...the hard way."

"You trust Nino," pointed out Evelyn.

"He is young," said Sands somewhat wearily, "He doesn't know any better than what I teach him. Besides, I need someone around, don't I?"

"You pay him don't you?" said Evelyn, "He told me."

"Of course I pay him," said Sands defensively, "He would never get as much money as I give him doing anything else."

"He seems very devoted to you," Evelyn said truthfully.

"It's the money that keeps him here," Sands said but Evelyn didn't believe him. She could see the affection in Nino's face and the understanding way he dealt with Sands. Evelyn was surprised to realise Sands' expression had darkened. His pale face fixed in an expression of hatred.

"No one takes advantage of me," he muttered, "No one." Evelyn kept quiet, he wasn't talking to her.

A silence fell between them so Evelyn looked around. Her eyes fell on a book on Sands' right. It looked far too advanced to be something Nino would attempt, she felt a pang of pity as she realised it must belong to Sands.

"What are you looking at?" Sands demanded. Wondering how he had known Evelyn answered, "Your book." Sands looked mildly surprised. He reached over and picked up the book with no trouble at all. He gave a short laugh.

"I was halfway through it," he said turning it over as one hand stroked the hardback cover, "I've been trying to teach Nino...but he's just a kid."

"I could read it to you," said Evelyn tentatively unsure how this suggestion would be received, "If you want me to."

"You'd do that?" Sands asked his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Of course I would," replied Evelyn, "It would be a pleasure, I love books."

Nino found them sitting together. Evelyn had a beautiful reading voice; it seemed to bring the words smoothly to life with no effort at all. She had her legs tucked up beneath her and with the light shining down on her she looked very pretty, her face shining with passion as she lost herself in the story. Sands was listening motionless, his head slightly to one side. Nino crept into the room on tiptoe so as not to disturb them and curled up on a chair to listen too. He didn't understand every fifth word but that didn't matter, it was nice just to let the story wash over him.

"That's the end of the chapter," said Evelyn half an hour later as she closed the book with a soft thump. Her mouth felt dry from all that reading aloud. Sands seemed to be savouring the moment so she got up and got herself a glass of water. When she returned Sands said, "You read very well." Her voice was softer than the one that haunted him, much softer.

"Thanks," said Evelyn and for some reason a warmth spread through her whole body and she felt unjustifiably proud of herself. She cast a look at her watch.

"I should probably leave," she said when she saw it was already quite late.

"Where's Nino?" Sands asked.

"He's fallen asleep on a chair," said Evelyn looking over at the sleeping boy.

"Which chair?"

"The green one."

"The green one?" repeated Sands dryly.

"The one by the kitchen doorway," Evelyn corrected quickly.

"Ah ok," said Sands, "I'll look after him."

"I can..."

"I can manage," said Sands shortly cutting Evelyn off.

"Ok," said Evelyn quickly, "Well, thank you for having me round."

"Pleasure," said Sands. He stood up and Evelyn felt awkward, how could she say goodbye without causing offence or being inappropriate? She decided to go for the hug, Sands was certainly surprised.

"See you soon," Evelyn said feeling her cheeks burning magnificently. Sands looked a little sour but decided to let her parting words slide.

"Good night," he said. He listened to her footsteps dying away and wished he could be walking her home. He wanted to know what she looked like, how she smiled, what her expression was like when she looked at him. He forced himself to think about something else but while he covered little Nino with a blanket all he could focus on was all the things he couldn't see. Stupid things came to his attention, things most people didn't care about, things like he didn't know what colour T-shirt Nino was wearing, he didn't know what his own furniture looked like or whether it was night or day. Then more important things surfaced like the fact he couldn't go out of the house safely without Nino, he couldn't cook or read or watch TV. In all respects his world had been in darkness for the last six months so why, now there was a ray of light on the horizon, did some shadows seem to be deepening?

* * *

Thank you once again to everyone who reviewed! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.


	6. Nightmares

_A/N:_ Before you read the next chapter I would like to recommend some other OUTIM fanfics which I think are particularly wonderful.

The first is '_Sons of Mexico'_ by Mojave Dragonfly.

The second is '_Smoke gets in your eyes'_ by E.S. Young which is the sequel to '_The Long Way Home_'.

Anyone who hasn't read them I strongly recommend that you check them out, because they are really, really good! Both these fanfics are being regularly updated.

I hope you enjoy this chapter......oh, and thank you to all my reviewers!

* * *

_Chapter 5: Nightmares_

"Senor? Are you waiting for someone?" Nino asked. Sands was sitting by the window apparently listening for something. His concentration had been so great that very unusually he jumped when Nino spoke.

"No," he said irritably, "Just leave me alone." Nino retreated without question. He was disappointed, he had thought the arrival of Evelyn might bring about a change in Sands, maybe bring the smile back to his face but he was still refusing to let anyone in. Nino sighed, he heard the screams in the night, he knew Sands hadn't been able to sleep well since it had happened. Some wounds never heal; some nightmares are just too terrible and run too deep. Nino shivered then looked around for something to do. He didn't play like other children his age, he had lost the will to spend his time in this manner a long time ago when his father had lost his job and Nino had needed to help raise the money required to feed his family. He had sold chewing gum from a basket on the front of his bicycle for two years before meeting Sands, and he did not regret meeting him one bit. Nino checked the cupboards and found Sands was alarmingly low in cigarettes. He would not be at all pleased if he found out.

With Nino gone Sands went out to the backyard. He lined up four glass bottles on the low brick wall at the far end then walked away from them. He reached into his pocket and drew out a small black gun. Four bullets later and all four bottles were smashed. Sands blew the top of the gun which he knew must be smoking and then span round as someone said, "Wow! That was amazing!" Suddenly Evelyn found she had gun pointing at her head, and she had just seen proof of its effectiveness. She put her hands in the air instinctively.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I knocked but no one answered, the door was open...I should have waited outside."

"Yeah, you should have," said Sands as he flicked the safety catch on the gun and placed it back in his pocket. Evelyn lowered her hands feeling anxious.

"But it doesn't matter," said Sands with a small smile, "Anyone else would be dead by now."

"I feel honoured," said Evelyn not sure whether Sands was serious or not, she had a funny feeling he was. She looked down at the remains of the bottles; they were well and truly dead.

"How did you do that?" she asked, "It was really amazing."

"It wasn't," said Sands flatly, "I knew exactly where I'd placed those bottles."

"It's still amazing," maintained Evelyn.

"It's no more than a party trick," said Sands and he walked past her into the house. Evelyn followed him with one last look at the bottles.

Sands had stopped in the middle of the living room, he was almost radiating unhappiness. As Evelyn walked closer she noticed he wasn't wearing his gloves. She touched his hand with hers and he froze. She only touched it briefly, it was cold and she had to resist the temptation to take hold of it and try and warm it with her own. The fact Sands had a gun in his pocket went a long way to putting her off even trying this.

"Where's Nino?" she asked instead.

"Cigarettes," replied Sands shortly.

"Oh right." There was an awkward silence.

"I'm eating in town today," said Sands.

"Oh," said Evelyn.

"Do you..?" Sands left the question unfinished.

"Do I want to join you?" Evelyn guessed.

"Mm," said Sands in an offhand voice.

"Sure," said Evelyn with a smile, "I'd love to."

It wasn't a restaurant Sands usually went to, but Evelyn liked it so Sands was willing to accommodate. It was late. They had long since finished their meal; Evelyn had been pleased to see Sands eat something this time. The candles on their table were burning low; all the other candles were out. They were the last ones in the restaurant but no one came and told them to leave. Evelyn had the distinct impression they knew what Sands kept in his pocket.

"It must be late," said Sands, "Nino?"

"I told him he could go home," said Evelyn, "He was exhausted, poor kid."

"Oh," said Sands and a frown appeared which creased his forehead.

"I can take you home," Evelyn suggested gently. Sands clearly did not like this idea.

"I can manage," he snapped viscously. He stood up abruptly, turned round and walked straight into a pillar in the middle of the room. Evelyn leapt up and grabbed his hand.

"Fuck," he said under his breath. Evelyn said nothing.

All the way Evelyn could tell Sands wanted to shrug her off, he didn't like accepting her help, and he didn't like needing it. He couldn't bring himself to talk to her.

"Here's your house," said Evelyn and immediately Sands pulled his hand away from her.

"Sands, I..." But Sands was already walking away from her. He did not look back.

The next morning Nino found Sands already awake and already drinking tequila straight from the bottle.

"Senor?" Nino said carefully, "Should you be..?"

"Fuck off," growled Sands violently.

"Senor, did something bad happen last night with..?"

"I said FUCK OFF!" said Sands hotly. Nino backed away; Sands often became violent in situations such as this. He would ask Evelyn what had happened when she stopped by; but she never did.

Nino kept well out of Sands' way. He wanted to help but he knew better than to bother Sands further when he was in this mood. Nino hoped he would snap out of it on his own but as the day wore on Sands steadily drank himself into oblivion. It was mid afternoon when Nino found him vomiting in the backyard. He dealt with it without complaint; Nino was very fond of Sands and a bit of vomit was never going to change that. He would have done anything for him. He helped the semi-conscious man to bed and closed the shutters hoping that Sands would be able to sleep it off. Sands was asleep almost immediately, Nino had learnt to recognise when he was asleep and when he was not as it was not immediately obvious to an untrained eye. Nino checked on him a few times before deciding to risk it. He rarely left Sands alone without telling him where he was going and how long he would be but this time he really felt he needed to.

Evelyn was painting for the first time in months. Her brush caressed the canvas lovingly and Evelyn felt a sense of joy she hadn't felt in a long time as the painting began to take shape. The whole scene was dark and brooding, a street bathed in moonlight. Even the figure was dark; he half blended with the shadows. He had his back to Evelyn but his face was turned towards her as if he was looking over his shoulder. His dark glasses caught the moonlight and glinted. Sands had looked gorgeous last night, the starry sky providing the perfect backdrop for him. She knew it was hard for him to accept her help but she thought if she gave him time he might learn to. Evelyn presumed Sands must have been fully independent not so long ago, reliant on no one and then...then what? What had happened to Sands? Would he ever tell her?

Evelyn washed her brushes, the dark paint swirling round the small sink discolouring it for a moment before the water washed it away. She needed to wait for the first layer of paint to dry before she could continue with her moonlit scene. Feeling light and carefree she grabbed her key and headed out the door. It was a beautiful day but for some reason there was hardly a soul about. Evelyn sat in the somewhat deserted town square with her book open on her lap, the sun glaring off the page. She wore a wide brimmed hat to protect her eyes so looking up was much more of an effort than usual, as a result she heard Nino before she saw him. He was riding his bicycle ringing the bell as he pedalled furiously down the street.

"Hello Nino," Evelyn called cheerfully. She thought he must be in town to pick up something for Sands.

"Hello senorita," Nino said as he climbed off his bike almost before it had stopped moving.

"Are you shopping again?" Evelyn asked.

"No," said Nino shaking his head, "I am coming to talk with you."

"Oh?" asked Evelyn and she closed her book, "Come and sit down." She removed her hat and felt the sun warm the top of her head. Nino sat down beside her, his legs a few feet off the ground as he sat on the wall.

"Is something wrong?" Evelyn asked, "Is Sands alright?"

"Oh, something is wrong senorita," said Nino seriously. He explained about Sands' tequila filled morning.

"Drinking?" said Evelyn, "Does he do that often?"

"He used to senorita," Nino replied solemnly, "It helps him forget." Evelyn thought for a second then asked, "Do you think I can help in any way?" Nino looked at her hopefully.

Sands woke up but didn't move immediately so anyone watching would still think him asleep. He knew he was in bed, he could feel the pillow under his head. He tried to sit up but his head began to spin horribly.

"Lie back," said a soft voice from close quarters. It seemed like an attractive proposition so Sands did so and his head settled down.

"Evelyn?" he asked.

"Yes, it's me," said Evelyn and she took hold of one of Sands' hands. Sands relaxed and unconsciously squeezed Evelyn's hand; her presence was comforting when he was in so much pain. Evelyn looked down at him; even now he was wearing his dark glasses.

"Do you want me to put your glasses somewhere safe?" she asked reaching over to take them.

"No!" cried Sands vehemently. Startled, Evelyn almost let go of his hand but Sands held onto her and she heard his unspoken plea. For a long time they remained in silence. Evelyn couldn't be sure if Sands was asleep or awake until he spoke.

"I didn't think you'd want to come again after yesterday." Evelyn didn't say anything. Sands heaved a sigh. He wanted Evelyn to stay but the longer she stayed, the more often she came round; the closer he came to trusting her. Trusting her was not worth the risk, not after last time.

"I can't give you what you want," he said heavily.

"You don't know what I want," said Evelyn.

"I can't give you anything." Evelyn shook her head.

"I don't believe you," she said frankly. Sands opened his mouth to speak but Evelyn got there first.

"Sssh," she said, "Don't tell me what you can't do, I'm not interested. Tell me something true, tell me about yourself." Usually Sands would never have considered doing this but evasiveness, mistrust and even downright anger took energy, energy which Sands found difficult to muster right now.

"What do you want to know?" he asked in a tired voice.

"Everything."

"I can't tell you everything," said Sands, "I don't have all day." Evelyn rolled her eyes, even when he was drunk he managed to be sarcastic.

"Anything then."

"Ok. I own twenty seven guns." There was a pause.

"Oh," said Evelyn who was unsure how else to respond. She had wanted information about him rather than his dangerous property but maybe she would have to lead him in the direction she wanted as he seemed quite out of it at the moment. There was a part of her which told her to stop the questioning, told her it was taking advantage of the situation but her curiosity drove her own.

"You said you worked for the CIA," she said hoping this would prompt him to reveal something in that area.

"Yep," said Sands as his hazy mind reminisced on a time which seemed a lifetime ago, "Always got the job done, always got the highest profit I could in the process." He smiled at the memories of all those successful missions, all that money. "Corrupt to the holsters I was, still am. I am a bad man Evelyn." He knew that was an understatement, and that made him smile even more. Evelyn tried to fight the feeling of excitement that statement had just caused; she knew she was blushing again. She changed the subject slightly.

"Have you killed people?" Evelyn asked in a hushed voice.

"All agents kill people," was Sands answer. He sounded very tired now.

"But...?" encouraged Evelyn. Sands gave another smile.

"I killed a lot of people, and not always for the good of the agency. I've never regretted that, oh no, I've never regretted that one bit." He suddenly sounded bitter. "Not after everything that happened." He sighed again.

"I paid a heavy price of course," he said with an ironic smile, "In a way I too have been killed." He winced as his head gave a particularly nasty throb and Evelyn didn't ask any more questions. She didn't know Sands was asleep until his grip on her hand relaxed completely.

Evelyn stayed the night. She was fairly sure Sands wouldn't mind but it was hard to tell what would make his temper flare up at any given time, she decided it was worth the risk. For some reason she couldn't sleep. Perhaps she had too much on her mind; she suspected it had something to do with what she had heard from Sands that evening. Whatever the reason, she was awake to hear the terrible scream that ripped through the house. Evelyn was upright instantly, every nerve tingling. Although silence had now descended Evelyn could still hear that hellish sound echoing round her head. It was the most horrible thing Evelyn had ever heard; it embodied fear, pain and terror all in one frightful note. Several moments passed before Evelyn dared leave her room. As she stepped out everything was quiet and still. She tiptoed past Nino's room but stopped when she saw the door was ajar. She peered in but Nino was not in bed, the covers had been thrown back as if their owner had been in a hurry. Even more afraid now, Evelyn continued to where she had left Sands. She could see the door was open from a fair distance away, and she could hear soft noises coming from inside. She crept closer and looked in from the shadows. She smothered a gasp with the hand that flew to her mouth.

Sands was sitting upright, his face even paler than usual. The dark shades he wore brought the unnatural shade of his skin into sharp contrast. He was shaking uncontrollably like someone struck by flu. There was a fine film of perspiration shining on his face and he was muttering almost inaudibly. Evelyn caught only a few words.

"Not interested in scheme...don't come near me...killing me crossing the line...build them up, watch 'em fall..." Nino was by his side whispering soothingly trying to reach Sands through his delirium but so far it didn't seem to be working. Nino looked up and saw Evelyn watching, he told her with a look that she shouldn't interfere. A few minutes later Sands fell silent, lay back and appeared to relax. Nino delicately wiped the sweat from Sands' brow and continued to talk quietly to him. Evelyn slipped back into her room and closed the door. She found she was shivering herself now. She heard Nino return to his room some time later and everything was still again. She curled up under her sheet and eventually drifted off to sleep, visions of Sands trapped in his nightmare fixed in her head.


	7. Wounds and confessions

Thank you to my dear reviewers! I value all your comments, you keep this story going.

I have another recommendation for you...Miss Becky's trilogy of OUTIM fanfics. They are complete and they are marvellous. The first is 'After the dust has cleared', followed by 'When all is said and done' and ending with 'Que Quieres En La Vida'.

Happy reading!

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_Chapter 6: Wounds and confessions_

Evelyn decided she wasn't going to mention what she had witnessed the night before. She was sure that Sands hadn't known she was there; it was quite possible he hadn't even been aware of Nino being present. Evelyn just hoped Nino didn't mention it; she did not want Sands knowing she had been watching him.

Nino and Sands were on the porch, Sands on a chair and Nino on the porch steps humming to himself while he polished something.

"Good morning," said Evelyn. She couldn't help eyeing Sands warily.

"Morning," said Sands. He was as he always was; pale and unsmiling, but now Evelyn saw him in a different light. The memories of him shaking last night seemed to be pasted in front of her so much so that she had to look away from him to clear her head.

"How are you feeling?" Evelyn asked suddenly remembering why she had come round to Sands' house in the first place.

"Better," said Sands obviously not feeling in an elaborate mood, "I appreciate your help." Evelyn was touched by this; she had not expected such a confession.

"I'm glad I helped," she said. Sands did not look like he was going to talk further unless pushed to so Evelyn looked around at Nino.

"What're you doing there?" she asked. Nino jumped and tried to hide the object in his hands under the polishing cloth he was using but Evelyn was too quick for him. Her mouth fell open and she rounded on Sands accusingly.

"Is that yours?" she demanded pointing to what lay on Nino's lap.

"Is what mine?" asked Sands quite calmly.

"The gun that Nino is cleaning Sands," said Evelyn, "Is it yours?"

"Well, of course it's mine," Sands said giving her a quizzical look, "I wouldn't let Nino have one now, would I?" Evelyn felt cold. She had expected Sands to look ashamed or at least apologetic but he wasn't even making the pretence of either.

"Evelyn?" Sands asked when she hadn't spoken for a short while.

"Are you totally irresponsible?!" Evelyn cried shrilly well aware that her voice was shaking, "Nino is just a child!"

"I am aware of that," said Sands coolly, "But children can be killed too. Irresponsible would be letting those guns become unworkable. If there are people around who want to kill you it is best to arm yourself, don't you think so?" He asked this question lightly but it struck Evelyn like a blow. She stared at Sands unable to think of a single thing to say that he would not be able to shoot down, so instead of speaking she snatched the gun from Nino and placed it out of reach before hurrying into the house.

Evelyn sat on her bed her hands clenched tightly around the bedcovers. Why was it necessary for people to kill each other? Her reaction to seeing the gun in Nino's hands had little to do with Nino, even less to do with Sands; instead the key to it lay in her past. She closed her eyes but she could still see what had happened that dreadful night in the pouring rain. She began to cry, her face in her hands.

Sands hesitated at the doorway; it had been a long time since he had heard someone crying. He wasn't entirely sure he knew what to do. He would never have considered attempting to comfort someone six months ago, the thought would have positively revolted him but since that dreadful day everything in his world seemed to have changed apparently even as far as his willingness to be nice for a change.

"Er...are you ok?" he asked uncertainly. Evelyn looked up and hurriedly wiped her tears away.

"Yes," she replied attempting and failing to hide her distress, "I'm fine."

"I may be blind but I'm not stupid," said Sands. That made Evelyn smile; she supposed she couldn't sound very fine at all.

"Can I come in?" Sands asked. He was hovering in the doorway as if ready to either come in or leave at a moment's notice. Evelyn had never seen him so uncertain before, it made him seem more human somehow.

"Of course you can," Evelyn answered not seeing how she could justify keeping Sands out of a room in his own house. Sands walked forwards and sat down with impressive accuracy right next to her.

"It's a bit dusty in here, isn't it?" he asked with a look of distaste. Evelyn felt the mood lighten at once.

"It's not too bad," said Evelyn with a small laugh, "There doesn't seem much point in dusting a room which never gets used."

"It's being used now," said Sands.

"I don't mind a bit of dust though," said Evelyn. Sands shrugged. Evelyn felt tight in the chest and her eyes felt heavy with unshed tears.

"Is something wrong?" Sands asked deciding he might as well get to the point now he was here. Evelyn swallowed and brushed away a few stray tears.

"Yes," she replied in a small voice.

"Oh," said Sands hoping she would go on without further encouragement. Evelyn twisted her hands in her lap as she spoke, "I really need someone to talk to."

"Will I do?" Sands asked touchily, "Or do you need someone will fully functional eyeballs?"

"I don't see how seeing can help a person listen," said Evelyn smartly. Sands looked almost impressed.

"Go on then," he said in a tone which implied he hadn't got all day. Evelyn wondered if she would live to regret telling him.

"I'm scared," she said knowing the whole story was about to spill out and there was not much that could stop it. Sands was relieved, he understood fear, he had lived with it for a long time now.

"I wasn't entirely truthful with you before," Evelyn continued, "When I told you why I came to Mexico." Sands stiffened slightly but remained silent.

"You know I told you about my boss, and the reason I quit my job?"

"Mm," said Sands.

"Well, I didn't quite tell you the whole story," Evelyn confessed her eyes on the ground. She paused, took a deep breath and then the story began.

"At first I thought I was no different from all the other woman in my boss's eyes, he was well known for his womanising and I had been forewarned by a friend who worked in a neighbouring office. I thought I knew what to do, I thought if I was cold towards him, if I never showed any interest he would eventually give up and leave me alone but it seemed he liked a challenge. It took a year of harassment before I finally quit, I hadn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had made me leave a job that was so convenient for me but in the end I had no choice. I thought that would be the end of it, he wouldn't see me and I wouldn't see him, he could find someone else to terrorise but that's not what happened. He didn't leave me alone, he began to stalk me."

"He followed me everywhere I went and when I continued to show no interest he began to get violent. It turns out his wife had found about his conduct and run away with the doorman in their building, I guess this was his way of coping with the pain. Everywhere I went he was there, I couldn't escape."

"One night he cornered me down a deserted side street after I'd been to the cinema with some friends. He was drunk; I could smell the alcohol on him before he even got close. I tried to run but he blocked my way. He tried several times to grab me but I fought him off. He got angry, really angry. He hit me and threw me against the wall. He started shouting and swearing, telling me what he was going to do with me now he finally had me. I knew he would never leave me alone, never, that's why I bought the gun in the first place. I'd never even used it before but I shot him right in the chest. I remember the look of shock on his face as he fell to the ground but he wasn't dead so I shot him again and again until he didn't move. It was horrible, there was blood everywhere. The rain was washing it down the drain already; I could see it covering his chest. I heard the police sirens in the distance so I ran and I've kept running ever since."

Evelyn paused again; the whole thing was playing in her mind as if it was on video. She felt the rain on her face, the fear, the horror. She saw his dead unstaring eyes looking up at her; she remembered the nausea and panic that had swept over her. She remembered wanting to throw the gun down on the ground but stopping herself. She remembered getting into her car, still soaking wet from the weather outside, with only what she really needed with her and driving away never to return.

Sands was slowly absorbing the information, it had only taken about a minute but in that time Evelyn had lost her innocence.

"I'm safe in Mexico," Evelyn said, "My father was a Mexican so I have a Mexican passport. I don't even know if the US authorities know it was me but I'm not going back to find out." She stopped, her story told. Even though he wasn't touching her Sands knew she was trembling.

"It was seeing the gun in Nino's hands that brought it all back," Evelyn explained wanting to fill in the silence Sands was leaving every time she paused, "I..." She stopped again and this time Sands spoke.

"You did the right thing." Evelyn looked appalled.

"But I killed a man!" she said.

"Sometimes that is the right thing," said Sands matter of factly, he would know.

"I'd do it again if I had to," Evelyn found herself saying and she knew it was true. 'That might prove useful,' thought Sands to himself but he didn't say it out loud.

"Are you disappointed in me?" Evelyn asked. Sands actually laughed.

"Disappointed?" he repeated, "Not in the least bit, perhaps a little surprised but not unpleasantly so." He thought for a moment.

"So that's what you want, time for your wounds to heal," he said conclusively.

"Yes," said Evelyn, "I guess so."

"Some wounds never heal," said Sands and he got up and walked from the room.

Evelyn felt something changed after that between her and Sands, there seemed to be a greater level of understanding between them. Maybe Sands felt he could relate to her better now or perhaps he was simply flattered that she had confided in him. Whatever the reason Sands became considerably warmer towards her and his temper was slower to show itself though it was always there under the surface. That week Evelyn and Sands, accompanied by the ever good natured Nino, spent almost every day together. In the evening Evelyn read Sands his book while Nino dozed in a chair. As Evelyn read she would look up and she would smile to see the peaceful expression on Sands' face. Occasionally Sands would smile too.

"You should smile more often," Evelyn told him one evening, "It's a beautiful smile." How could he not smile at that?

When Evelyn wasn't with Sands she was immersed in her art work. Her moonlit picture was almost finished and she had already started a new project. Sometimes she would be up late into the night working on it. She had not felt this inspired for months and her heart felt light as a feather. It was almost as if telling Sands what had happened that night had helped to ease the burden that had weighed on her so heavily since she had left that godforsaken alleyway in the rain. She didn't even think of it as often any more, and it hadn't featured in a dream for weeks.

"It's time for your medicine senor," said Nino. Sands took the pills and swallowed them, two tablets which had gone down from the initial four twice a day so he guessed that was progress. But he was still on medication, still in pain. He sighed. Some wounds never heal.

"Is something wrong senor?" Nino asked. Sands adjusted his sunglasses.

"Nothing more than usual," he answered in a bored voice.

"Is senorita coming over today?" asked Nino knowing this would probably cheer Sands up.

"We're having dinner with her in town," replied Sands in a tone which did not convey much enthusiasm for the idea but Nino knew better than to let that fool him.

"Senor?"

"Mm," said Sands.

"Would it be alright if I take you to town and then go and see my family senor?" Nino asked all in a rush. He sounded nervous and Sands found himself feeling immensely guilty, a feeling he seemed to have rediscovered since last November. The boy was always with him and he never once said a word about leaving, why shouldn't the kid get to see his family?

"Sure kid," said Sands, "Evelyn can take me home."

Evelyn held Sands' hand, it was still cold but this time Evelyn could hold it in her own without fear of having her head bitten off. He was still reluctant to be dependent on her but to his credit he hid it well. They stopped outside Sands' house, the moonlight once again shining down on them.

"Thanks," said Sands shortly. Evelyn was silent; she was looking up at Sands almost transfixed as he stood waiting for her to say something back to him. She couldn't stop herself; it was like someone else had taken control of her arms, someone who listened to her heart. She reached up and touched Sands' pale face. Sands flinched at her touch and pulled away. Hurt, Evelyn took a step backwards too, colour flooding her cheeks. Sands swallowed, a million memories and feelings were threatening to overwhelm him but there was one memory that stood out clearly over all the rest. He staggered backwards as if to get away from it. Evelyn watched, she had only touched him.

"Sorry baby...you've seen too much..." Evelyn saw him swat at something she couldn't see in front of him, he seemed to have forgotten her completely. The voices in Sands' head momentarily paralysed him as they replayed memories Sands would rather have forgotten and then, as suddenly as they had come, they faded away into the corners of his mind to wait for when he fell asleep.

"Evelyn?" Sands said not entirely sure how long he had been listening to his past.

"I'm still here," said Evelyn warily. Sands rubbed his temple as if struck by a sudden headache. Evelyn's voice, the way she had touched him, it was all too familiar...

"Sands?" she said and he heard her take a step forwards. He retreated.

"I...," he began hand still at his head, near me..."

"Sands, please I..."

"Evelyn," Sands said in a dangerously calm voice, "Go away." He seemed to be fighting to resist the temptation to shout at her, Evelyn was completely in the dark, what had she done wrong this time? Sands turned away from her and walked into the house without another word. Evelyn thought about following but decided not to, she didn't know how to help Sands fight these demons, she didn't even know what they were.


	8. Behind the glasses

A/N: I know some of you have been waiting for this chapter...let's just say some things happen that had to happen.....enjoy!

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_Chapter 7: Behind the glasses _

Nino was deeply concerned. For the first two months since he had come to live with Sands he had been afraid that Sands would not pull through his ordeal; he wouldn't sleep and his waking hours were spent in a feverish nightmare shifting from days of silence to sudden outbursts of fearful mutterings. The hospital had given his sedatives but Sands would still toss and turn in his sleep finding no relief from his torment. But slowly he had got better. The bullet wounds had healed and so had the extensive facial injuries caused by Dr Guevera's torture. Gradually Sands had healed mentally too, and although this process had been very slow Nino had been delighted to see Sands making such progress. But now he seemed to be declining again just when Nino had been sure things were going to be ok. Sands was sleeping now, his brow furrowed painfully. He groaned slightly then bit his lip to stop another sound escaping him. Nino gently wiped the sweat from Sands' forehead with a damp cloth.

"You'll be alright senor," Nino said knowing full well that Sands could not hear him, "I won't leave you."

Sands woke several hours later. He knew someone else was in his room, he could hear their soft sleepy breathing. It was Nino. Sands slipped out of bed and walked out onto the porch. It was beautifully cool outside. Sands found his hands were shaking so he gripped the porch rail hard to stop them. Why did he keep falling apart? Why couldn't he just pull himself together? He shivered unable to stop himself. He had probably scared Evelyn away or at the very least hurt and confused her. 'Still,' he tried to reason, 'Better for her to leave now before she discovered the truth.' This was such a horrible thought that Sands felt a sudden urge to reach for the tequila bottle, he stopped himself. The last thing he needed was to become an alcoholic. He didn't want to have to cope with even more pain.

Flowers were delivered to Evelyn's door. She had been in the middle of a new painting at the time, another moonlight scene. She took the bunch of flowers with that feeling of happiness that comes with knowing someone was thinking about you. They were beautiful, orange and pink roses, a pleasant clash, or at least Evelyn thought so. Evelyn was filled with a sudden sadness when she read the accompanying card, they were from Sands. The thought that he would never see how beautiful these flowers were made Evelyn's heart ache, she sighed deeply. After arranging the bouquet in an empty paintbrush jar, which was the closest thing she had to a vase, she admired them for a little while. Sands had only written his name, he had not included a message, but Evelyn knew what he wanted to say; he was sorry. He needn't have been, Evelyn had seen his pain, she was the sorry one.

Sands heard her coming; she trod lightly and quickly with a purpose. Sands turned and for half a second he expected to see her, the darkness startled him and then he cursed under his breath.

"Hello to you too," said Evelyn who had heard Sands' muttered obscenity. Sands smiled and then instantly turned serious again.

"Listen," he said, "About yesterday..." Evelyn cut him off.

"I don't need another apology," she said, "And I don't need an explanation if you're not ready to give one. The only thing I need is to know that you don't mind me being here, I don't want to be part of the problem." Sands nodded appreciatively.

"You're not," he said.

"Good," said Evelyn, "So do you mind if I stay awhile?" She found she felt inexplicably shy. Sands looked faintly amused.

"It's your choice," he said. Evelyn took a seat and breathed in the fresh air that Sands had yet to pollute with smoke. Nino appeared beaming as usual but even as he said hello to Evelyn he noticed Sands seemed more tense than usual.

Sands didn't understand. His mind seemed to be clinging to his nightmares despite the fact he was well and truly awake now. He was having to make a real effort to contain the horrors that stalked through his brain but even his best effort couldn't stop his hands shaking as he lit his cigarette.

"Sands, are you alright?" Evelyn asked concerned.

"Mm," said Sands with a tight lipped smile, "Fine." Ha! If only she knew.

Evelyn was in the kitchen fetching herself a glass of water when Nino joined her. He hurried up to her seemingly intent on telling her something.

"Senorita," he said urgently, "Can you stay the night tonight?"

"Um..sure," said Evelyn, "If Sands doesn't mind. Is there something wrong?"

"I am afraid for senor," said Nino honestly, "Perhaps with you here the nightmares won't come."

"I didn't stop them before," pointed out Evelyn remembering Sands sat up in bed shaking like a leaf, mumbling incoherently while Nino hovered around him. And that scream, that terrible bone chilling scream.

"You don't understand senorita," said Nino struggling to convey what he wanted to in English, "Senor Sands is not well, he..."

"Don't worry Nino," said Evelyn putting her hand on the boy's shoulder, "I'll stay."

It was in the evening that Evelyn began to understand what Nino had meant by Sands not being well. Unconsciously Sands began to mutter things to himself, he did it so quietly it was impossible to hear the words but Evelyn could see he was speaking. Evelyn thought maybe if she read to him he would snap out of it to listen to her but he didn't. It was as if he was surrounded by ghosts that only he could see and they were tormenting him. Evelyn stopped reading when it became clear Sands was paying no attention to her at all. She leant forwards and touched Sands' foreheard. He froze and stopped muttering at once.

"It's alright Sands," said Evelyn, "I'm not going to hurt you."

"My name's Sheldon you know," said Sands in his normal voice.

"That's a nice name," said Evelyn removing her hand from his head.

"Don't patronise me," snapped Sands. He sounded ashamed and slightly bemused. Evelyn suspected his instinct was to flick back into defensive mode but she understood this now.

"I wasn't," she said calmly, "It is a nice name." Sands seemed torn between a biting remark and something kinder. He chose silence. Evelyn reached for his hand, it was ice cold. Sands let her take it without reaction. He was breathing rather fast and shivering like someone recovering from a bad bout of flu.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Evelyn. Sands shook his head.

"I don't usually go to pieces like this," he said. He needed to justify himself.

"I know," said Evelyn, "Nino told me."

"He's a good kid," said Sands leaning back in his chair.

Evelyn persuaded Sands to go to bed; he was exhausted and was asleep almost immediately. Evelyn left him and went to the spare room feeling oddly drained herself. She thought she wouldn't be able to sleep but that was the last thought she had before sleep wiped her mind mercifully clear.

Sands woke up screaming, his head on fire. He sat up and gulped fresh air. The voices faded and Sands remembered where he was. He was safe in his house, he wasn't in that room, with those people; he was safe.

Evelyn wasn't startled this time when she woke and saw him standing there in her doorway. He looked like he had been standing there for a while. He turned to her when she sat up. For a moment Evelyn and he were still, and the next second Sands had crossed the room. His cold fingers found her neck, her chin, her lips. She kissed his fingertips gently. He was suddenly very close to her, his fingertips resting on her lips right up until the moment he kissed her. When his lips found hers she thought she was going to moan aloud with pleasure. His kiss was intense, and there was a slight fierceness to it which Evelyn couldn't get enough of. She forgot he was blind, forgot he was unable to see her like she could see him; none of it seemed to matter any more. She knew then that she loved him, she might have even said it out loud between frenzied kisses, she couldn't remember. It was a long time before they stopped, Sands lay beside her. Evelyn was surprised to see him looking indescribably miserable. She felt a prickle of hurt stab at her.

"Was I that bad?" she asked in a crushed voice, "Maybe kissing's not..."

"Do you think that's why I'm unhappy?" Sands interrupted his eyebrows raised. He gave a short laugh.

"No," he said, "I'm not unhappy because of that. I'm unhappy because in a moment or two you will quite possibly, quite probably, quite understandably never want to see me again." Evelyn didn't understand and said so. Sands sat up slowly and leant his back against the wall.

"I should have told you before," he said dully, "I didn't want to face your reaction. But I can't put it off any longer."

"What are you talking about?" Evelyn asked feeling disconcerted. Sands turned to face her, Evelyn could just about make out her reflection reflected twice in his dark glasses. Sands raised his hand to his face and asked, "Have you ever wondered what lies behind the glasses?"

He removed them slowly. If Evelyn had ever thought she would be prepared for this moment she was gravely mistaken. She gasped and fell back in absolute shock, for where she had expected to see sightless eyes she saw two gaping black holes like those of an empty skull. Sands had no eyes at all.


	9. Learning the truth

Wow! What a fantastic response I had to the last chapter! As a thank you here is the next chapter earlier than planned (sorry it's a little short)....enjoy!

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_Chapter 8: Learning the truth_

Evelyn realised she hadn't said anything, she also realised she was edging further away but she seemed unable to stop herself. Sands placed his glasses on the bedside table carefully and then leant back against the wall again. He didn't need to see to know what Evelyn's reaction was, it was the reason he had not done this before. A smile crept onto his face.

"Your silence says it all," he said. Evelyn tried to speak but couldn't find any words; all she could do was stare at the places where Sands' eyes should have been torn between disgust, horror and shock. Sands purposefully did not replace his glasses; they would not undo anything now. Suddenly Evelyn remembered Nino saying something to her. "Six months ago he is seeing perfectly." She choked, unformed questions buzzing through her brain but she was too numb to speak the words aloud.

"I have to admit I expected you to say something," said Sands conversationally, "Anything really. I thought you might even scream, I suppose silence is better than that."

"Sands..." Evelyn's voice was barely more than a whisper. Sands heard her fear, her disgust, her loathing.

"I suppose I have some explaining to do," he said in that same light tone, "But first I shall make myself less horrifying." He reached over and replaced the sunglasses. Evelyn still stared, if she could go back would she have chosen to see what was behind those dark glasses? She shuddered, Sands felt it.

"It's not you who has to live with it," he said his casual façade flickering, "Although admittedly I don't have to look at myself." Evelyn tried to speak again but her throat seemed to have closed up completely. Sands heaved a great sigh, he had wanted a little more support to make this easier, he hadn't realistically expected it but he had wanted it all the same.

"Are you ok Evelyn?" he asked. He supposed he had better check she wasn't traumatised or anything.

"Yes," came the uncertain, whispered reply.

"Believe me," he said, "No one wishes it hadn't happened more than I do." He allowed himself a small smile and briefly wondered if Evelyn still found it beautiful, he doubted it.

"It was a plan, a glorious plan, I was in control, I was calling the shots but the corrupted are never to be trusted. You don't need to know the whole story only the relevant parts. The aim was simple, I was to become a rich man but I wanted to share the spoils, not because I am a generous man but because I am simply a man and she was a woman. She, Agent Ajedrez...you know, I never did expect it, I never thought she would betray me. Well, anyway, she did. Turns out her father was one of the guys that was heavily involved in the whole thing, one of the guys I'd been watching." He paused at that last word, it belonged in someone else's mouth not his. When he continued his voice was a little less calm.

"Her father, Barillo, had this doctor, Dr Guevera, working for him. Real chummy they were. When I was captured due to dear Ajedrez's betrayal Barillo decided I had seen too much. I knew I was in trouble when he said it but there was nothing I could do to save myself or I would have done it. That's the fun thing about being a prisoner. I was drugged of course but only to keep me docile, nothing for the pain." Sands tried to continue but found he couldn't, there was a drill buzzing in his head. He shook it to clear it.

"Dr Guevera drilled out my eyes." He heard Evelyn give a soft scream, nothing compared to his screams that had filled that room while Ajedrez sat and watched.

"Torture is a terrible thing," said Sands as if he was attempting to rationalise the irrational, "But I probably deserved it which is a little hard to accept when every night I revisit that room and wait, knowing exactly what is about to happen and being utterly powerless to stop it." There were tears streaming down Evelyn's face, silent tears that Sands did not know were there.

"They threw me out on the streets to die after that," continued Sands, "And if it wasn't for Nino's impeccable timing I undoubtedly would have died."

"Oh Sands," said Evelyn her voice breaking as her sobs became audible. Sands listened to her crying for a little while. Would he have joined her if he could? He didn't know. He decided he might as well finish the story now.

"I killed her you know," he said with a touch of satisfaction, "Ajedrez. I ruined her plan and then I killed her before she could do the same to me. I hope her father saw her die. He was killed shortly afterwards and so was Dr Guevera, but not by me unfortunately. I would have made them suffer, made them live through the agony they gave to me." Sands sounded so resentful now that Evelyn felt sure Barillo and Guevera had suffered little in death, shot probably.

"So now you know," said Sands with the air of one who has just bared their soul. Evelyn crept forwards on her knees. She put her hands either side of Sands' head and removed his glasses. The sightless holes gaped at her but this time she did not back away. She ran her hand down Sands' pale face and then kissed him softly on the lips. That was better than words, Evelyn wasn't sure she could have found the right words anyway. She broke apart from Sands and he replaced his glasses. He looked on the edge of speech but Evelyn cut him off with another kiss, her tears making Sands' face damp.

The morning light was just starting to creep into the room. Evelyn was lying in Sands' arms, her head resting on his chest. It didn't seem possible that someone could live through Sands' ordeal but he had.

"They never came back for me you know," said Sands' sleepy voice.

"Sorry?" asked Evelyn.

"The CIA, they never came for me. Fucking bastards left me to die." He was speaking in a far away voice like he was half asleep.

"Gave me money but never bothered to find out whether I died or not. Abandoned by my own agency..." His voice trailed away. Evelyn felt him hold onto her more tightly before they both drifted off to sleep.

Evelyn woke before Sands. It was mid morning judging by the intensity of the light forcing its way through the gap in the shutters. Evelyn was glad Sands was still asleep, it gave her the chance to reflect on everything that had happened the night before. So now she knew the truth, the reason behind the blindness and that terrible scream. Evelyn edged out of bed, Sands stirred but remained asleep although it was difficult to know for sure. She was glad he was wearing his glasses; somehow without them he didn't look quite human. She watched him sleeping, and made up her mind right then. She was dressed a minute later and making her way out the door. Nino, who had been up for hours, looked pleased to see her awake until he realised she was leaving.

"Senorita?" he asked hurrying after her.

"I'll see you soon Nino, ok?" Evelyn said with a quick look over her shoulder. Nino watched as she headed into town without looking back again. He wasn't stupid, he knew Sands was in her room and he had been happy with that knowledge. He had left them alone and gone about his business as usual. He had thought maybe...but now Evelyn had left without so much as a proper goodbye. He looked apprehensively towards Evelyn's room where, by the sounds of it, Sands was getting up.

Sands awoke. He knew Evelyn was not on the bed, he couldn't feel her weight on the mattress. He sat up and listened for her but he couldn't hear her soft breathing or movement of any kind. He got up feeling a lurch of foreboding. He walked out into the living room, that was empty too, he could just tell. He walked into the kitchen.

"Senor Sands, did you want some coffee?" It was Nino and he sounded nervous but was trying not to show it.

"She left, didn't she?" Sands said his voice hollow. Nino could not see any way round it so he had to reply with the truth.

"Si senor," he said solemnly his head bent to the floor as if it had been his fault. Sands felt like his heart had fallen out of his chest and onto the floor. He did not want to show anything in front of the kid so he turned around. The problem was he could not remember what was around him; he couldn't remember how to navigate his way through the house so he had to extend his hand so it made contact with the wall. He staggered horribly forwards feeling like he had lost his sight all over again. Some part of him had known she would leave once she knew, why would she stay after learning the truth? He was finding it difficult to breathe. He had liked her, he hadn't wanted to admit it even to himself at times but he did and that was that. But she had left him too, just like everyone else. He leant heavily against the wall not able to think straight or go any further.

"Senor Sands?" came Nino's hesitant voice but Sands did not want his pity. He threw out his arm and felt the back of his hand collide hard with Nino's chest. Sands heard Nino cry out but did not hear the thud which would mean he had fallen to the floor. Sands wanted to run, he wanted to get as far away from here as he could but he couldn't. He hit the wall hard his with his fist and Nino listened to Sands let out a cry like a wounded animal. Nino let the tears roll down his face; it was hard to watch someone you love in so much pain.


	10. Misunderstanding

_Chapter 9: Misunderstanding _

Evelyn put on her seatbelt after checking her precious cargo was safely strapped to the seat beside her. Everything seemed much more beautiful today in Evelyn's eyes. The sky had never been so blue; the sun had never shone so brightly, the people had never smiled more radiantly. As she pulled out of the hotel driveway Evelyn felt happier than she had done in years, she finally felt safe. The journey to Sands' house took no time at all. She pulled up outside the porch, and her happy feeling faltered, something was wrong. She pulled the key from the ignition. Why did her heart begin to beat faster? What was wrong here? She had just stepped out of the car when she heard footsteps tearing towards her. Around the side of the house Nino appeared with sheer panic written on his face. He tore over the brown grass and skidded to a halt in front of Evelyn.

"Senorita," he said breathlessly, manners intact even now, "Please...you have to help..."

"What's the matter?" Evelyn asked and she saw her own fear reflected in Nino's dark eyes.

"Senor Sands," said Nino urgently and he pointed to the side of the house, a gesture which Evelyn did not understand.

"What happened? Where is he?" asked Evelyn ready to help whatever Nino told her.

"He's not here senorita," said Nino and suddenly he switched to Spanish gesticulating wildly with his hands as he spoke.

"I can't understand you," said Evelyn trying to remain patient while fighting her own panic. Nino seemed incapable of English now he was so agitated but Evelyn caught words such as "gone", "missing" and "dangerous." She grasped Nino's shoulders firmly and said clearly, "Show me." Nino nodded wide eyed. He grabbed Evelyn's arm and pulled her with surprising strength round the side of the house. Evelyn had never been round there before and was surprised to see a garage with peeling painted doors wide open.

"See senorita," said Nino, "It's gone!"

"What's gone?" asked Evelyn hoping Nino would be able to answer in English.

"The car," said Nino frantically, "And Senor Sands."

Evelyn was driving down the road which ran parallel to the busy market place. Her eyes scanned the crowd of people, it was near impossible to locate one individual but somehow Evelyn knew Sands wasn't there. Evelyn had learnt from Nino that he had heard Sands' car start but thought nothing of it, not knowing then which car was making the noise. By the time Nino had realised it was too late, Sands had driven away and now Evelyn was looking for him. Nino had been morbidly convinced that Sands had already suffered some terrible accident and it had been Evelyn's duty to calm him down before commencing her search. Nino's fear had had a marked effect on Evelyn, every time she drove round a corner she was convinced she was about to see a horrific vision of an overturned car but the road was always empty.

When Evelyn returned to Sands' home Nino came running down the steps to meet her but both their hopes were dashed, neither of them had so much as seen Sands. Evelyn wanted to go back out but Nino insisted she stay, she had not eaten a thing all day. Nino and Evelyn sat on the porch trying to force down their food but neither of them were hungry. Their heads turned at every noise but Sands did not appear. Evelyn could feel a ball of panic in her chest rotating and growing as time crawled slowly on. Nino's eyes were looking oddly shiny as he pushed the food around his plate unenthusiastically.

"Has he ever done this before?" Evelyn asked.

"No," replied Nino, "He has not even looked at his car since the Day of the Dead."

"Day of the Dead?" Evelyn asked. She knew it was a Mexican festival of some kind but what significance did it have for Sands?

"Si," said Nino sadly, "The day they stole senor Sands' eyes." Evelyn shivered as she remembered the story and what lay behind Sands' glasses. Nino looked out into the night.

"Poor senor Sands," he said, "Out all night."

"We won't find him in the dark," said Evelyn although she knew that if Nino wanted to go out she would too but Nino was realistic.

"I know senorita," he said sadly, "I hope he's alright. He's done so much for me."

"You mean with money?" Evelyn asked.

"Si," said Nino looking up at her, "My family now owns a big house and they have successful business." He looked proud of his family's achievements for a moment before sadness covered his young features again. "But senor has done lots for me also; he is teaching me English and plenty of other things he knows."

"That's good," said Evelyn resisting the urge to let all her mounting feelings convert to tears, "But couldn't you learn that stuff at school?" Nino shook his head.

"The school is too crowded, it's too hard to learn anything," he explained, "Senor Sands is much better teacher." Evelyn smiled.

"Do you love him Nino?" she asked.

"Si," replied Nino with touching honesty, "Do you?" Evelyn looked out into the darkness.

"Yes," she said, "Yes, I do."

Nino kept falling asleep for a few minutes at a time so Evelyn decided that they should both turn in. She slept in the guest room as usual but this time she could feel Sands next to her and see his shadow in the doorway. Twice she woke expecting to see Sands beside her but there was nothing there. Sands had not returned.

The sun had only just crept above the horizon when Evelyn resumed her search. The streets were still empty; her car was alone on the roads. Nino had told her that Sands' car was black so that was what Evelyn was looking for. She headed out of town, she wasn't sure why exactly, probably because she had searched the town's streets the day before. Her car drove through the desert, sand flying from each wheel like a mini sandstorm. The sky was a dusky pink and visibility was medium at best but Evelyn could just about make out a dark shape in the distance. As Evelyn got closer she saw it was, as she had so dearly hoped, a car. She approached cautiously her eyes picking out the letters on the number plate and comparing it to the one Nino had given her, it was a match.

Evelyn stopped the car a little way away. If Sands was nearby he would have heard the engine cut out so he would know someone was there. The last thing she wanted to do was appear threatening. She got out of the car and walked closer to Sands' vehicle. It seemed to have come to a stop of its own accord meaning that Sands had not, as Nino had so gloomily predicted, had some terrible accident. She could see it was empty from quite a way away so she prepared to look around it. She wanted to call out or make some noise to supplement the crunching of her shoes on the dark ground but for some reason she did not dare. The silence was so absolute that it seemed forbidden to shatter it in any way. Evelyn edged round the car her heart in her mouth. She did not hear him approach; the first she knew was the sound of a gun being cocked.

Evelyn span around. There was Sands, his face set in an expression of determination, standing in front of her aiming his gun directly at her heart. Evelyn resisted the temptation to put her hands in the air.

"It's me," she said instead, "It's Evelyn."

"I know," said Sands simply without emotion. He did not lower his gun. Evelyn told herself to keep calm; Sands wouldn't shoot her, right? Right now she wasn't so sure.

"I came to see if you were alright," she said her eyes trained on the gun. Why hadn't he put it down yet? Sands said nothing at all.

"I was worried about you," said Evelyn a slight quaver in her voice. There was a slight pleading note to it too which did not escape Sands' notice. He gave a derisive snort.

"I was worried," Evelyn insisted, "How did you manage to drive all this way without...?" Sands' hand shook ever so slightly and Evelyn saw the gun wobble a fraction.

"Fuck you," he spat, "As if you care."

"Of course I care!" cried Evelyn reacting to his aggressiveness.

"Then why did you leave me?!" Sands shouted. Silence. He had said it. He had admitted he cared and he hadn't meant to. The silence stretched on painfully.

"I never left you," Evelyn said in a small voice, "I was coming back." Sands said nothing; his face was registering no discernable emotion.

"Did you think I wasn't coming back?" Evelyn asked realising she had caused all this and if anything had happened to Sands it would have been her fault. Nino had neglected to tell her this. Sands lowered his gun feeling a strong rush of self-hatred. Evelyn dared to take a step forwards but to her surprise Sands raised the gun again.

"Don't you come near me," he said viscously, "Just fuck off." Evelyn backed away with tears in her eyes, where was the Sands that had held her in his arms?

"Please Sands, I..."

"Fuck off!" he roared and he fired the gun. The bullet soared past Evelyn's right shoulder, it didn't touch her but it hurt her to the core.

Evelyn wasn't to know Sands had shot to miss but she sincerely hoped that was the case. She was sitting in her car, she hadn't moved an inch and it had been three hours now. She wanted Sands to know the truth but didn't work up the nerve to approach him until another hour after that.

Sands couldn't remember whether he had heard Evelyn's car leave or not, he reckoned she must have left by now. It was hot so he was sitting in the shade of his car. His throat was dry but he couldn't think about thirst or hunger now. He hated himself, that was the simple truth. He turned his gun around in his hands slowly until he heard the soft footsteps coming towards him.

Evelyn sat down beside Sands; she had placed her heavy parcel a little way away. Sands had no reaction to her presence at all. He sat motionless, gun still in his hand. Evelyn was relieved to see it wasn't pointed at her. She sat for a minute and then very gently she touched Sands' hand, wrapping her fingers around it to let him know she cared. Sands did not pull his hand away; instead he just looked even more miserable. Evelyn snuggled closer to him until, to keep his balance, Sands had to put his arm around her. He did so with obvious reluctance.

"I don't like being dependent," he said in a pained voice.

"Everyone's dependent on someone," said Evelyn.

"I've got used to being dependent on Nino, I could replace him if I had to. But if I become dependent on you I won't be able to..." He broke off but Evelyn knew what had been about to say; he wouldn't be able to replace her, she had the funny feeling he would not have been able to replace Nino either but her thoughts remained internal. She turned and kissed him. She could feel his need for her and that just made her want him more. She leaned over so she could kiss more deeply but Sands pulled away so he could voice the question that was hurting him so badly.

"Why did you leave?"

"I'll show you," said Evelyn and she got up.

"Show me?" asked Sands.

"Uh huh," said Evelyn with a smile, "You see, the reason I left was because I had been waiting for the right time to give you something, I thought yesterday morning was the right time but...anyway, I told you I was an artist, I made you something." Sands looked a little confused.

"Wait here," said Evelyn, "I'll go and get it." Sands heard her walk a little way away and then stop, when she walked back she seemed to be a lot slower. Evelyn carried her gift over and placed it beside Sands glad to put it down. She took both of Sands' hands in her own and placed them onto her present.

"It's a statue," she explained, "Made in stone." She began to guide Sands' hands over it slowly as she spoke.

"It's a mother with her baby," said Evelyn, "She's holding the baby to her, protecting it from the rest of the world." Evelyn directed Sands' hands all over the statue. It was completely smooth, all curved lines and hollowed areas. Sands found he did not imagine what it looked like, he didn't need to.

"Wow," he said quietly his hands continuing to play over the cold stone.

"I'm glad you like it," said Evelyn.

"And it's for me?" Sands asked.

"Yep." Sands smiled, a cold, tired smile which reminded Evelyn that he had been out all night. She touched Sands' face with her finger and found he was cold despite the warm sun.

"Come on," she said, "Let me drive you home."

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A/N: To all my reviewers, I appreciate each and every one of your comments. Some of you have unknowingly helped me decide on further chapter details including parts of the ending, which isn't due for quite a while yet, so thank you! 


	11. Progression

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A/N: Ok, a lot of people asked me how Sands managed to drive all that way without killing himself or at least crashing the car. It's a good question and one which doesn't have a simple answer. Basically I've been asking Sands and even he's not too sure (and he's very reluctant to talk about it). I think the reaction he had to Evelyn "leaving" was so strong that he flipped into reckless mode. He didn't care if he crashed or not but something similar to autopilot must have kicked in. As soon as Sands realised what he was doing he had to stop the car which is why he was in the middle of nowhere. I hope that answers the questions (admittedly it does require a suspension of disbelief which might be necessary for further chapters too :) ).  
  
Anyway, thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! You guys are the greatest!

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_Chapter 10: Progression_

Evelyn thought Sands might be taken ill after being so exposed for a day or so but he recovered remarkably quickly. The statue was given pride of place in the living room. Nino praised it highly but in truth he barely gave it a second glance. He was far more interested in Sands' return. He was immeasurably pleased to see Sands well and happy, it was evident in the little boy's beaming smile and the way he rushed about to do Sands' bidding with even more enthusiasm than usual. Nino was sure that Sands' happiness was down to Evelyn, not that his happiness was obvious to anyone who did not know him very well. He was not smiling any more than usual, and he certainly wasn't laughing but there was something in the tone of his voice that was more gentle than usual, that was the biggest clue. Then there was the way he occasionally reached for Evelyn as if to make sure she was still there. She would touch his hand and smile, her own happiness much clearer to see.

Nino had gone to bed after completing several English exercises set by Sands. Evelyn had read Sands' book to him and now they were sitting side by side in the flickering evening light. A moth was buzzing lazily around one of the light bulbs making soft thumping noises upon each collision.

"I should go back to my hotel," Evelyn said. Sands looked almost mortified at the idea.

"You can't," he said, "You should stay here."

"Why should I?" Evelyn teased. Sands leaned over and kissed her. When Evelyn woke a few hours later she found she was cold. She looked around and realised to her considerable alarm that she was outside. She sat up and stared wildly around until she saw Sands sitting beside her, smoking as usual.

"I don't know what you're looking so shocked for," he said casually though how he knew was anyone's guess, "You were the one who said you'd never done it under the stars before." Evelyn smiled as the memory came back to her, she did not go back to the hotel that night.

Evelyn drove Sands' car back into the garage the next day all the time wondering how on earth Sands had managed not to crash it and thanking everything she could think of that nothing had happened to him. She even closed her eyes very briefly while she was driving but the effect was so disorientating and frightening that she stopped almost at once. Sands made no mention of his car or of the events of the previous few days so Evelyn took her cue from him and decided not to ask. Nino polished the car up without Evelyn knowing and when she eventually did realise she never found out if Sands had asked him to do it or whether he had done it of his own accord.

Evelyn spent a lot of time at Sands' house after that, returning to her hotel room to collect clothes or art materials. Slowly her collection of things at Sands' house increased until her stuff was spread about 50:50 between the two locations. She made every effort to keep her things confined to her room when not in use and not to let things get left lying around but it happened occasionally. She left an easel in the living room and Sands had brushed past it, fortunately avoiding a head long collision. Evelyn found him standing by it, touching the wood lightly with his hands.

"It's an easel," Evelyn told him.

"I guessed," said Sands.

"I'm sorry I left it lying around," said Evelyn. Sands waved away her apology and resumed his inspection of the foreign object.

"It hasn't got a painting on it at the moment," Evelyn explained.

"I guessed that too," said Sands.

"Oh," Evelyn said not knowing quite what to say next. Sands turned to her and smiled but Evelyn saw it wasn't a happy smile; he wanted to see her paintings.

With Evelyn around more often Nino spent more time with his family. He had just returned one evening while Evelyn was making dinner. She heard him coming through the front door.

"Hello Nino," she called, "How was your family?"

"Very good," replied Nino without enthusiasm. He eyed the saucepans on the stove longingly.

"You hungry?" Evelyn asked. Nino nodded furiously then looked worried.

"Is there enough for me?" he asked.

"Of course there is," said Evelyn as she wiped her hands on her apron, "I wouldn't leave you out." Nino beamed before bouncing off to find Sands. Evelyn watched him leave wondering as she did so whether he minded the sudden introduction of someone else into the household; he had always been cheerful and happy so Evelyn hoped that meant he was pleased to have her around. At least Sands was less snappy with him now. He still had his instant temper but at least he did not shout as much, he was trying.

Sands could hear Evelyn humming something as she cooked. He liked it when she did that, it was easier than listening for footsteps or breathing. Sometimes he found it hard to believe she was still here after what she had seen and what she had been told but here she was. Every morning Sands would wake and if Evelyn wasn't lying next to him he would feel a horrible emptiness which scared him. He knew he was already far too dependent on her and it had happened so quickly. Just like it had happened with Ajedrez, that bitch had made him believe she loved him but he had not looked very hard to see if she was lying. She had been beautiful, too beautiful and too deadly. This time though he couldn't be seduced by looks. This time he had got it right surely, he wouldn't survive if he made another mistake. The nightmares had not stopped, neither had they lessened in intensity but when Evelyn was there Sands somehow managed to suffer in silence smothering his screams in his pillow so that, so far at least, he had not woken Evelyn even once. He shuddered and was glad that at that moment Nino arrived to take his mind off things.

Evelyn was dressed only in her short silk pink nightdress so it was quite chilly standing on the porch. The meal dishes had all been cleared away by Nino who had insisted on helping out. He was now curled up in bed and Evelyn was keen to follow suite. Sands was smoking on his usual chair. Evelyn walked over to him.

"I'm going to bed now," she announced. She kissed Sands on the cheek.

"Ok," he said, "I'll be in once I've had my fix." Evelyn smiled, squeezed Sands' shoulder and then left. She fell asleep almost immediately so she did not hear Sands come to bed.

Sands knew she was asleep; each breath was deep and regular. He listened to her for a little while and then slipped into bed beside her. She gave a sleepy moan and turned so she was facing Sands before snuggling up to him. Sands put his arm around her and felt her warm body against his own, it was comforting. He didn't want to fall asleep, he never wanted to, because he knew what was coming. He sighed and eventually the conscious world slipped away.

She was there, slipping in and out of focus horribly. He struggled to watch her but once she started speaking it was no effort to hear her words.

"Sorry baby, I told you I wasn't interested in your scheme" Sands turned his head and saw her father, Barillo, advancing upon him his face wrapped in bandages. He could see him, he could see the malicious Dr Guevera, he could see the silver device spinning and spinning and spinning. His scream ripped through the silence. He was bolt upright shaking uncontrollably the pain still tearing through him. He felt someone try and push him back onto the bed but he lashed out catching them right round the face. He didn't know anything but the pain until a gentle hand touched his face.

"It's alright," said a soothing voice which did not belong in his nightmare, "You're ok. Just relax." Sands found himself obeying the voice's instructions, he lay back still breathing hard. Slowly he began to remember where he was.

"Evelyn?"

"Yes, I'm here," came the reply as Evelyn lay down beside him her own heart beating wildly in her chest but none of it showed in her voice.

"I'm sorry," said Sands in an anguished voice feeling utterly drained, "I didn't mean to hit you, I"

"None of that matters," said Evelyn kindly, "Just go back to sleep now." So he did. Evelyn, on the other hand, stayed awake for a long time with the scream echoing round her head.

Evelyn got up early the next morning; she was finding it difficult to get any sleep at all now. Sands felt her rise and so he sat up too.

"How was your sleep last night?" he asked knowing what the answer would be.

"Not that good," confessed Evelyn as she rubbed her tired eyes.

"It's my fault," said Sands, "I knew it would happen sooner or later." Evelyn thought she knew what he was going to say but she had to ask.

"What did you dream last night?" Sands' face clouded over.

"Day of the Dead," he said simply. Evelyn sat back and touched his hand.

"How often?" she asked.

"Every night," Sands replied with a shiver. Evelyn put her arms round him.

"I'll help in any way I can," she said, "Even if it means not sleeping at all." Sands produced a small smile.

"You shouldn't have to deal with my problems," he said but at the same time he clung to Evelyn like she was keeping him afloat.

"I only want to help," said Evelyn, "If you want me to just leave you alone then tell me so."

"No," said Sands, "Don't leave me alone." He said this quietly so that no one but Evelyn could possibly have heard even if they had been in the room.

"I won't," Evelyn whispered in his ear and she kissed him warmly feeling tired no longer.

So their lives existed in this balance. Nino and Evelyn shared the cooking and other jobs and Sands found he now had two people eager to assist him, and he learnt not to resent this quite so much. Gradually his smile became quicker to appear and often lingered longer which delighted Evelyn and Nino alike. But like all good things, this time had to come to an end.


	12. When things go wrong

A/N: For everyone who has been and could be confused about when my fic ends I will make it very, very clear (ie. the words the end will be the biggest hint :D). Still got a while to go, just over half way through now I think.

My heart felt thanks to my reviewers once again, I wouldn't still be writing this without your encouragement and your wonderful comments.

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_Chapter 11:When things go wrong _

Evelyn asked for a table for one. Sands was busy with something so she was spending the evening alone. He was restoring the balance or something, Evelyn had not asked. She watched the world go by as she ate her meal. She suddenly caught a glimpse of her fingers, she had an unattractive mixture of clay and paint embedded underneath her fingernails that she had been unable to wash away. It made her smile; she had been feeling very creative recently.

She walked at a leisurely pace back to her hotel; it was a warm evening so she carried her cardigan over her arm. She hummed under her breath as she entered the hotel; she waved a cheery goodnight to the night watchman and took the staircase. Two minutes later she was turned the key in her lock and opening the door. It was dark inside so Evelyn reached for the light switch instinctively but instead of the plastic her hand touched something soft and warm; another hand.

Evelyn gasped and then felt a hand clamp across her mouth. She felt more hands grab her arms, she struggled but the grip simply tightened. She tried to scream but the hand muffled the sound. It was crushing her jaw but Evelyn couldn't do a thing about it. She was pushed front first into the wall and held against it, her arms twisted sharply behind her back. The hand around her mouth disappeared but her head was pressed against the wall so it was forced to one side. Suddenly everything went quiet and then the lights came on. Evelyn saw two men dressed in black with dark glasses to obscure their eyes like Sands' but Evelyn knew these men were not blind. They were going all around the room closing the blinds and listening at the door. Evelyn supposed there must be two more men holding her, one for each arm. One man, the boss perhaps, walked up to her, he lit a cigarette as he did so and breathed the smoke in Evelyn's face. It was the same brand that Sands smoked, what a peculiar thing to notice in such a situation.

"Hello senorita," said the smoker. He had a low gravely voice, Evelyn listened to him feeling quite sure she was going to pass out from fright at any moment.

"We thought we would pay you a little visit," said Smoker, "Only sociable." Someone behind Evelyn laughed.

"What do you want?" Evelyn asked trying to sound brave which was difficult when both your arms felt close to breaking point. The smoker man smiled but did not answer straight away. He walked over to the wall and slowly stubbed his cigarette out on the paintwork. It hissed for a second and then there was silence.

"I am not a patient man senorita," said Smoker as he walked back to her, "And I am not a nice man. But I am a reasonable man. If you give me what I want then nothing will happen to you but if you don't..." He raised one hand. Evelyn felt her arms being twisted behind her; she rose on her toes and let out a cry of pain. The smoker lowered his hand and the pressure lifted a little.

"Now you understand me," the smoker said as he lit up another cigarette, "You will listen to what I have to say." Evelyn choked as he breathed his stale smoke into her face again, her eyes began to stream.

"We've been watching you," the smoker said, "You're a pretty good artist, we've seen your work, had a preview if you like." He smirked.

"We even know who your friends are Miss Willuns, that is the area that most interests us. We know everything so don't lie to us, we won't be fooled that easily. We know you spend a lot time with ex-Agent Sheldon Jeffrey Sands." Evelyn's breath caught in her throat almost choking her. She should have known it was something to do with Sands. What did they want? How was she going to best protect Sands from these people?

"How did you meet ex-Agent Sands?" Smoker asked. Evelyn said nothing. Suddenly she felt her arms being twisted again. She cried out in pain.

"Don't play games with me," called Smoker and then Evelyn felt her captors ease the tension in her arms. She didn't know what to do, they were going to hurt her, maybe even kill her.

"How did you meet dear ex-Agent Sands?" Smoker demanded. Evelyn was determined to keep her mouth shut but pain drew words out of her.

"He's just a friend, I barely know him." When they let go Evelyn could still feel her arms aching in protest.

"You barely know him," Smoker repeated, "So you didn't bother to ask any questions all those times you ate dinner with him?" Evelyn felt a sudden wave of desperation wash over her.

"He never said much," she said trying with all her might to sound convincing, "We hardly know each other."

"So what do you know?" asked Smoker.

"Nothing," Evelyn said at once. It was the wrong thing to say.

"Nothing?" The pain shot up Evelyn's arms into her shoulders like lightening bolts.

"I know he used to work for the CIA and that he was paid off," she blurted out but the pain didn't stop.

"And?"

"That's all I know! Please!" Evelyn tried to struggle free but it was useless. She began to sob, the pain ended eventually but she knew it was only a brief rest bite.

"Come now senorita," said Smoker as he lit his third cigarette, "Tell me all you know."

Evelyn lay on the floor momentarily dazed. Her arms had been wrenched almost to breaking point and now they were tied behind her back. She had not told them any fresh information, insisting instead that she knew nothing more and that Sands never talked to her about himself. They had not taken kindly to this so they had beaten her up and thrown her around the room so she was bruised and battered all over. She had just been thrown to the floor by one of the goons. When the world stopped spinning Evelyn opened her eyes. Smoker was bending down beside her.

"We know you know ex-Agent Sands," he said stressing the ex as if wanting to make perfectly clear that Sands was no longer under the protection of any agency, "You tell us what you know and we'll leave you alone." It was a tempting offer Evelyn had to admit, she didn't want to be hurt anymore and she didn't know how far these men were willing to go to get their information. Suddenly a vivid image of Sands being ambushed by these thugs struck Evelyn and it made up her mind. Better to be killed herself than to know she was responsible for anything happening to Sands. Smoker waited but Evelyn remained silent. He slowly to his feet and nodded once to his companions.

"I don't know anything!" screamed Evelyn as they advanced upon her but the men were immune to pleading, this was just another job.

It was dark outside the window. There weren't even any stars in the sky. Evelyn was lying on her back, hands and feet bound. She was in her bedroom but the bed was empty, she had been dumped unceremoniously onto the floor. They had not tortured her for long, Evelyn did not care why. The men were outside the door now; Evelyn couldn't hear them properly so she had given up trying to eavesdrop. She was lying completely still because everything hurt. All she could do was stare out of the window at the uninspiring darkness. She wondered what they would do with her. She tried not to feel frightened, and tried instead to think of Sands but that did not have the intended effect. What if they did manage to make her talk? Sands would try and fight them off of course, but in an ambush no one would stand a chance, least of all a blind man.

As she lay seeped in gloom and fear Evelyn began to feel the tingle of pins and needles creep through her fingers. Wondering whether her bindings had been pulled so tight they were cutting off the blood supply Evelyn wiggled her fingers to try and restore the flow when to her very great surprise the ropes feel away from her wrists completely. She stared at them in disbelief and then moved her hands apart. It was a full minute before the shock wore off and she was able to think clearly. She sat up, ignoring the pain, and undid the knots at her feet. She stood up quite unable to believe this piece of good fortune. She listened; she could still hear the hum of low voices on the other side of the door so there was no exit there. The only other way out was the window. Evelyn remembered seeing a very old, very rusty looking fire escape attached by what seemed like determination alone to the hotel's side. She hurried over and threw open the window dramatically. The fresh air hit her face. There wasn't time to think about it. She swung her leg out of the window and squeezed through the narrow frame. Grabbing the window sill with both hands she closed her eyes as the whole structure beneath her feet lurched. Her stomach plummeted and waited for her on the ground below. It was the door to the bedroom opening that made her let go, fear of one thing can often be enough to allow fear of something else to be overcome.

Evelyn ran down the ancient steps sure that her weight was going to cause the whole thing to collapse but fortunately it did seem to comply with the basic safety regulations and it held firm. When the platform she had reached about halfway down gave a particularly nasty wobble Evelyn looked up. Two of the men that had been hurting her had just climbed onto the scaffolding above her and their weight was causing the metal to strain even more. Suddenly they saw her, one man pointed accusingly and then they both began to hurtle recklessly down the steps making them literally bounce up and down. Evelyn half ran, half fell forwards her hands desperately clinging to the railings for what little support they had to offer as she strived to reach terra firma. Finally she made it but there was no time to be thankful that the ground was no longer moving for the two men were still in hot pursuit, she could hear their angry yells aimed in her direction but she did not look back. Evelyn ran, she ran to the only place she could think of, the only place she could feel safe. She snatched brief looks over her shoulder but could not see anything. A few times she thought she heard gun shots but that only made her run faster until she flew up the familiar porch steps and through the door.

She actually ran right into Sands who had just stood up upon hearing the running footsteps. He staggered as she collided with him but they both remained standing. Evelyn clung to him as everything seemed to collapse around her. Before either of them had spoken she began to cry. If Sands was at all confused by this sudden appearance and strange behaviour he did not show it. He let her cry for a little while, and Evelyn did not realise he had his arms around her until he spoke.

"What's the matter?" he asked. His tone was not particularly gentle, but then Evelyn did not wish to be patronised or soothed by someone who could not help her. Sands was asking the question plainly so she took her cue from him and answered accordingly.

"I was attacked in my hotel," said Evelyn, "Men who wanted to know stuff about you. I didn't tell them anything so they..."

"They what?" asked Sands sharply. He released Evelyn so he could use his hands. They found her face and gently explored it. She winced as he touched a bruise under her eye.

"Fuck," said Sands under his breath as he felt cuts and more bruises all over her. "What did they do to you?" But Evelyn could not answer, she began to cry again. Her muscles had begun to ache again now the adrenaline from running had worn off. Sands was hugging her gently, she did not know how much that was helping until he stopped.

"You should have told them what they wanted to know," he said in an almost scolding manner, "You shouldn't have put yourself in danger."

"I couldn't tell them," said Evelyn, "If they'd hurt you..."

"They can't hurt me," Sands said dryly. They stood as they were for a long time. Evelyn rested her head against Sands' chest and her tears made his shirt damp.

"What if they come here?" Evelyn asked at length.

"There's no if," said Sands, "They will come here."

"I'm so sorry," sobbed Evelyn, "It's all my fault."

"Of course it's not your fault," said Sands quickly eager to stop her tears, "I've been waiting for them."

"Waiting?" sniffed Evelyn wiping her eyes. Sands nodded.

"You have a choice," he said straightforwardly, "Either you stay here and fight or you run."

"What are you going to do?" asked Evelyn.

"Same thing I've been doing since the moment I got here," replied Sands, "I've never been a fan of running in the dark." Evelyn thought about how long she had been running away from things. She could feel Sands' chest rising and falling as she leant on it.

"I don't want to run any more," she said. Sands smiled. He was hoping she would say that, he did not want her to leave and this fact meant he did not argue with her decision when perhaps he should have done. He did not even think of what this would mean, all he could think of was that Evelyn was not going anywhere and that seemed to wipe everything else clear from his mind.

Sands washed Evelyn's cuts seeing no reason why he should wake up Nino for the task when Evelyn could tell him what to do. With Evelyn wrapped up in a blanket Sands reached inside his pocket.

"I don't want an argument about this," he said and he handed Evelyn something. She took the gun in her hands and the grim realisation that she might need it hit her.

"No abrupt rejection?" Sands asked.

"No," said Evelyn looking at her new weapon, "Only a thank you."

"Keep it with you," said Sands, "And don't hesitate to use it, after all you do have the somewhat hefty benefit of sight."

"Sands?"

"Yes?"

"What if they do come looking for you?" Sands smiled, a cold humourless smile.

"Then I'll kill them," he said, "Simple as that."

Evelyn thought she would never get to sleep that night but with Sands beside her she drifted off almost immediately. Sands however remained awake. The men who had hurt Evelyn were probably members of the fragmented Barillo cartel who were eager to seek revenge after Sands killed Barillo's only daughter and contributed towards the death of Barillo himself. The cartel had decreased significantly in number, so much so that for a time it had seemed as if they had disbanded completely but that was unfortunately not the case. Perhaps they had managed to recruit some new members which had spurred them to attack Evelyn, whatever the reason was Sands cursed himself for not seeing it coming (in a figurative sense) and arming Evelyn against it. He listened to the sound of her sleeping and thought how badly she could have been hurt, as it was she was lucky to have escaped with only minor injuries, and it was all his fault. He put off going to sleep knowing his dream would be especially vivid tonight but eventually sleep took him.

Evelyn woke as Sands screamed. He sat up, even paler than usual, shaking and breathing very fast. But this time he was not in pain, for it had not been him strapped to the table as usual, it had been Evelyn.


	13. Living in fear

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A/N: Brr...it's chilly here in London. Perfect weather for sitting and writing. :D  
  
This started off as a short chapter but inspiration hit and it turned into what it is so I hope you guys are happy with it.

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__Chapter 12: Living in fear_

It took some time for Sands to calm down. He clung to Evelyn and to her anguish he kept saying, "I wish I could see you, I wish I could see you." When he finally told her what had happened in his dream she felt almost as disturbed by it as he did.

"Everything was the same," Sands said in a horrified whisper, "Except I was watching, they were making me watch. You were in shadow so I couldn't see you clearly. I tried to reach you but they held me back. And then I heard it, and I saw it spinning and then you were screaming. I broke free when it was over and touched your face. I thought you were crying but when I looked at my fingers it was..."

"Blood," finished Evelyn in a dead sort of voice. Sands got out of bed, opened a drawer and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He lit one with trembling hands and sat down again. Evelyn took one too despite the fact she had not smoked since her early teens.

"The only time I see is when I'm dreaming," Sands said smoke circling above him, "And all I ever dream is..." He broke off and lit another cigarette.

"I'll kill them before they can touch you again," he spat abruptly.

"Please don't go looking for trouble," begged Evelyn.

"Looking for trouble?!" roared Sands getting to his feet. He was radiating anger.

"Looking for trouble!" he repeated his words hitting Evelyn like slaps in the face, "How the fuck do you expect me to look for trouble?!"

"Oh, I didn't mean it," Evelyn cried, "I'm sorry, I was only..." Sands removed his dark glasses dramatically, threw them to the floor and stormed out. Evelyn slipped out of bed and picked up the glasses. One of the lenses was cracked completely, one thin line stretching vertically. She held them carefully in her hand and sat back down. She inhaled the smoke from her cigarette and coughed. Sands' anger reflected his fear. He had been afraid when Evelyn had told him what had happened to her and the dream had made it worse; he was afraid he was going to directly or indirectly hurt Evelyn again, afraid that next time he might lose her.

Sands returned a few minutes later his apology streaming from him before he was even through the door. Evelyn just kissed him, their lips saying all that needed to be said without words. They fell into bed and ended tangled in each other, hearts beating in synchrony.

"I don't want to hurt you," Sands whispered.

"Then don't," said Evelyn and she kissed him again.

Evelyn and Sands decided not to tell Nino what had happened. He had seen and heard worse according to Sands but Evelyn was adamant that it would do him no good to know what had occurred, so her visible injuries were put down to her falling over in the street. Nino seemed to accept this quite readily so there was no need for them to embellish the tale or tell the truth. In private however they discussed the issue.

"They will come here soon," said Sands one evening when Nino had taken himself off to bed.

"Are you sure?" Evelyn asked. She had been trying to convince herself that she was safe with Sands.

"Yep," said Sands, "Everyone knows where the angry, blind man lives." He did not smile.

"Then why didn't they just come to you if they already knew where to find you?" asked Evelyn, "What did they want me to tell them?" Sands shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine," he said, "Perhaps they weren't sure what they wanted themselves and they just decided that you might reveal something interesting."

"You screamed last night," said Evelyn breaking off on a tangent quite deliberately.

"I scream every night," said Sands bitterly.

"What were you dreaming?" Evelyn asked trying to be casual.

"The usual dream," said Sands, "Don't mention it again."

"Ok," said Evelyn and she didn't say another word about it. Sands changed the subject.

"It's not safe here for Nino," he said.

"What are you going to do?" asked Evelyn knowing Nino and Sands would miss each other terribly if they were kept apart.

"I'll have to tell him to fuck off that's all," said Sands but Evelyn heard the reluctance to do so in his voice. She was about to mention this when something happened that neither of them had been expecting. Nino stepped out into the room dressed in his pyjamas.

"I don't want to fuck off," he said. Sands' head snapped round to him. He had not known he was there any more than Evelyn had.

"Nino," said Evelyn in a light voice that fooled no one, "Er...is something wrong?"

"I won't leave you senor," said Nino his eyes growing shiny. Sands looked as if he had not prepared for this. He briefly considered lying but knew if Nino would not leave after hearing the truth he would not leave at all.

"The cartel will come here soon," said Sands, "And they will try and kill us all. I don't want you here when that happens, you hear me kid?"

"Si," said Nino in a very small voice.

"You can go back to your family," Sands continued, "Hide out there."

"But you're my real family," blurted out Nino and he ran forwards and threw his arms around Sands' middle. Sands looked a little disgusted at this conduct but Evelyn thought it one of the most moving sights she had ever witnessed.

"I'm not forcing you to leave," said Sands, "But you'll be putting yourself in danger if you stay."

"I don't mind senor," said Nino bravely, "This time I'll smoke the fucker straight to..."

"Great," said Sands cutting Nino off but not before the kid had given Evelyn plenty of reason to suspect more irresponsibility on Sands' part.

"Get to bed kid, we'll talk about it in the morning." Nino knew Sands wasn't going to make him leave now so he gave Sands one last hug and then scooted back to his bedroom. Evelyn waited until he had gone.

"Did you try and get Nino to shoot someone for you?" she asked.

"It was a bad day," said Sands. Evelyn decided to leave it at that.

For the next few days the household existed in an uneasy calm. Evelyn felt the heavy weight of Sands' gun in her pocket every time she stood up. Every night she placed it underneath her pillow and then replaced it in her pocket when she woke afraid that if she left it somewhere that would be the time of the cartel's attack. Nino noticed her anxiety and in an attempt to make her feel better he frequently presented her with plates of biscuits and he would not take no for an answer. Sands buried his apprehension but became more sullen than ever. He barely slept though he took steps to ensure Evelyn did not know this. This combination of exhaustion and state of perpetual anxiety meant Sands was extremely bad tempered and preferred to be left alone but within hearing range of the others.

Evelyn found her art work began to suffer. She couldn't concentrate on anything and that made her feel very dejected. She had hoped to lose herself in her painting but the canvases remained as white as the day she had bought them. Her bruises ached and sometimes all she wanted to do was lie in Sands' arms, but he never seemed to be in the mood to comfort her. He kept watch, for lack of a better way of describing it, outside on the porch or in the living room by the window; sometimes he wouldn't come to bed. Evelyn began to suspect that he wasn't sleeping but when she tried to broach the subject Sands became horribly angry, so she opted to talk to Nino instead and found he was equally concerned.

"He is afraid senorita," Nino told her solemnly, "Afraid of the things that haunt him in the night and most of all he is afraid of anything happening to you."

"I'm afraid too," said Evelyn heavily, "I wish he would talk to me."

"I'm sorry," said Nino as if it was his fault, "But it's only because he cares about you very much." Evelyn looked at the young boy next to her.

"You're very wise for your age Nino," she said. Nino gave a little embarrassed smile and resumed his cleaning of the kitchen floor.

Evelyn entered the living room. Sands was seated and "looking" out of the window. She walked right up to him but he did not turn around. Evelyn sat down.

"Hi," she said. Sands gave a very tiny smile but said nothing.

"Have I done something wrong?" Evelyn asked. Sands sighed.

"No," he said. That was it. He did not invite further conversation but Evelyn was tired of hearing his silence.

"Then why won't you talk to me?" she asked. Sands' temper lit at once.

"I just don't feel like talking, ok?" he shouted.

"Don't shout at me," said Evelyn raising her own voice. She stood up.

"I want to help you but you're not letting me!" She stormed out of the room and Sands felt his anger drain away. It left an unpleasant feeling of regret. He wanted to follow Evelyn but didn't know what to say. His mind was clouded by lack of sleep and the shadows that lurked in the corners were driving him mad. He knew he would have to sleep soon, he couldn't hide forever.

It was late. Evelyn was already in bed when Sands came in. She pretended to be asleep not wanting to be shouted at again. She felt his weight next to her and wanted him to put his arm around her but he didn't. She was facing away from him on her side and that was how it remained until some hours later Sands screamed. Evelyn held him. He seemed to be only semi-conscious. She spoke gently to him and finally he relaxed and fell back to sleep without fully waking. Evelyn did not let go of him and stayed awake hoping that this time the nightmare would not return. Sands slept for a long time finally waking just before midday.

"How are you feeling?" Evelyn asked. She was fully clothed but had been reading on the bed waiting for Sands to wake up.

"Better," said Sands. His mind seemed a lot clearer at last. He paused and then said, "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting." Evelyn put her book to one side.

"That's ok," said Evelyn and she took his hand in her own.

"Anything I can do to make it up to you?" Sands asked. He really was feeling infinitely better.

"Actually," said Evelyn, "There is something. I really need the rest of my stuff from the hotel and I need to check out but I'm too afraid to go back there on my own."

"So you want me to come with you?" Sands verified.

"Will you?"

"Sure, but I don't know how you expect a blind man to protect you." There was a smile on his face though.

"I'm sure you'll manage," said Evelyn grinning.

Evelyn held onto Sands' arm. She had perfected the technique of casually leading him now and any observer would be oblivious to Sands' blindness unless they knew him already. Truthfully this illusion was mostly down to Sands' uncanny ability to know the world around him even without sight. If something was coming up Evelyn need only quietly mention it and Sands would react appropriately. He much preferred this to being lead everywhere by hand, this way he knew others couldn't be sure of his condition. Evelyn squeezed his arm affectionately and he smiled; today everything seemed to be bathed in sunshine.

Together they collected Evelyn's belongings. Sands raised an eyebrow when he located a very lacy something. Evelyn snatched it away from him and blushed furiously. Sands simply gave her a knowing grin. Evelyn paid her final bill, and then her car was loaded up. They were about to get in the car when Evelyn suddenly froze.

"Oh my god," she said her voice harsh with fear. Sands guessed from the sound of her voice that she was looking up.

"What?" he asked.

"There's a face," Evelyn replied shakily, "A face in my hotel room window." Sands had heard enough. Evelyn had been on fifth floor, the window had overlooked the place where her car had been sitting which meant...Sands shot at an angle. Glass smashed and Evelyn gasped.

"Did I get him?" Sands asked.

"Yes," replied Evelyn weakly her eyes staring at the place the man had been.

"Right, get in the car," Sands commanded, "Get in and drive." Evelyn slid onto the seat her legs feeling like jelly. She started the engine and soon they were speeding away from the hotel.

"Are you ok?" Sands asked when they had been travelling wordlessly for a minute or so. Evelyn nodded.

"I presume you answered in a visual way," said Sands when he heard nothing, "Which is of limited use to me."

"I'm fine," said Evelyn, "Just a little, you know, shaken."

"Is anyone following us?" Sands asked. Evelyn checked the rear-view mirror but the road was empty.

"No," she replied with relief.

"Good," said Sands but he knew it was only a matter of time. What he didn't know was their time had almost run out.

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A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, comments are always very much appreciated, I love to know what you guys think.


	14. Driving in the dark

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A/N: Right, well, I promised action so here it is (you may be required to suspend disbelief again for a little while). I wasn't going to update until tomorrow but then I thought I owed it to everyone who has reviewed so far to get this chapter out as soon as possible.

Thank you to all my reviewers, your comments bring sparkle to my day and have really encouraged me. I owe you guys!  
  
Hope you enjoy!

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_Chapter 13: Driving in the dark _

Evelyn was inside but as it was such a beautiful day that it seemed a shame not to be out enjoying it to the full. It was the kind of day when it was far easier to think good thoughts than worry about the bad ones. She looked over to Sands, who appeared lost in thought.

"Sands?" Evelyn said in a playful whine.

"Mm," said Sands emerging from his reverie.

"It's such a lovely day," said Evelyn getting up and finding Sands' chest with her arms, "Why don't we go for a walk?" Sands raised his eyebrows; something told him walking was not entirely what she had in mind so in an instant he agreed. The first breathe of fresh air filled Evelyn with such an intense feeling of happiness that she couldn't stop giggling. Sands seemed a little irritated by this but no matter what he said she would not stop laughing at every mortal thing. She even managed to find his irritation funny. Finally he decided that the only way to shut her up would be to engage her mouth in some activity other than laughter. So that was the main, but not the only, reason behind Sands suddenly grabbing Evelyn's slim waist, holding her close and covering her mouth with his own. Evelyn stopped giggling at once. She felt herself going limp in Sands' arms as he kissed her more deeply. Before she knew it she was on the floor behind a clump of bushes with Sands on top of her.

Sands didn't need his eyes for this; in fact he did not miss them at that moment which surprised him. As he kissed Evelyn and she kissed him back Sands felt for the first time that things weren't so bad after all. Evelyn sighed happily, her body beneath him, her arms around his neck. She leaned up to kiss him but Sands did not come down to meet her. Evelyn opened her eyes, lost her concentration and her head fell back to meet the ground with a dull thump.

"Sands!" she cried in a hurt voice her hands flying to the back of her head as she pulled up into a sitting position but then she caught sight of Sands' expression. He was listening, concentration etched onto his face. Evelyn fell silent at once and strained to hear anything over the sleepy silence but she could hear nothing save for her own breathing and her decelerating heart beat. Clearly Sands had heard something though, he didn't move an inch, his attention focused entirely on listening, the sense that had taken over when his eyes had been so cruelly taken from him. There were people coming, their heavy tread made Sands nervous, they did not sound like locals.

He heard Evelyn's breathing beside him, she was getting worried. She was probably watching them; she couldn't hear anything at all. Sands wished uselessly that he could look up and see who was coming but as that was impossible he would have to use the next best thing. He turned to Evelyn.

"Be my eyes," he said simply. Evelyn slowly got into a position in which she could see over the hedge without being seen herself. She found she was suddenly very scared, the atmosphere had changed so dramatically from perfect to this. She could still taste Sands on her lips. Her hand found his shoulder and gripped it. He put his hand on hers.

"Just tell me what you see," he said calmly. His attitude towards this situation had a beneficial effect, if he had shown one sign of panic Evelyn would have been a complete wreck. She raised herself up on her knees so she could just about make out the road. Sands heard her breath catch in her throat and he knew he had been right. The cartel.

"How many of them?" Sands asked.

"At least five," replied Evelyn in a whisper, "They have a car too."

"Weapons?" asked Sands but as he said the word he felt like a lead weight had just dropped into his stomach. Evelyn had wanted to go for a walk right in that moment so Sands had left without his guns.

"They have guns," Evelyn replied, "They all have guns."

"Do you have yours?" Sands asked. Evelyn felt a cold rush of realisation.

"No," she said in a small voice almost wanting to cower before Sands' inevitable rant about travelling without weapons, but he said nothing about it. She was not to know he did not have his either.

"How far are they?" he asked.

"I don't know," said Evelyn who was rapidly losing her cool, "They are quite a way away but they're facing towards us." Her voice was rising unconsciously so Sands reached over and put a hand over her mouth while he considered their options. Quite a way away was not really a satisfactory description of distance but Sands sensed Evelyn was close to out and out panic now so he would just have to call this situation with the information he already had. If the cartel were coming this way they would have to move or they would be seen for sure. They could run for it, an option Sands was loathe to attempt considering his notable handicap, or they could attempt to hide somewhere. Sands almost turned to look for somewhere suitable before he realised he couldn't. There seemed little alternative...

"Evelyn, when I say run we're going to run as fast as we can back to the house, savvy?" Evelyn nodded. Sands' hand was still over her mouth so he could feel her movement.

"Ok," he said letting her go so she could get ready. Evelyn got into a crouched position, her eyes wide.

"Run!" They both burst from behind the bush neither of them aware of the cartel's reaction. They ran, blood pumping in their ears. Evelyn didn't hear anything but their thudding footsteps; it was Sands who heard the car door slamming shut.

Nino had heard the sound of people running and come out to investigate.

"Senor Sands!" he cried, "Wha-?"

"Nino," said Sands coming to a halt, "Is anyone following us?" Evelyn stopped too, clutching at a stitch in her side. Nino looked from them to the road they had just run down. He could see a black car like a blip on the landscape, a black car that was heading towards them.

"Si senor," said Nino in alarm, "A car senor." Sands reacted as if this was the answer he had been expecting.

"Nino, I want you to run," he said, "Run into town and hide with your family. Do NOT return to this house, do you understand?" Nino nodded, completely stunned.

"Senor..." he began but Sands was looking firm this time.

"I don't hear you running," he said. Nino took one final tragic look at him and then took off, his footsteps speeding away. Evelyn had turned around.

"Oh god Sands, they're coming!" Sands could hear the engine noise and the sound of tyres rolling over the dirt on the road. The fear in Evelyn's voice made him act against his natural instinct to grab his guns and shoot until he could not hear anything moving. Evelyn, he feared, would not fare well in a shoot out of that sort.

"Your car," he said remembering that Evelyn had parked it outside the house, "Get in."

The both darted towards the car, Sands feeling his way expertly into it. It was only once they were both inside it that Sands realised he was in the driver's seat.

"Go!" shouted Evelyn as she watched the cartel draw ever nearer. Sands turned to her incredulously.

"I can't fucking drive!" he said pointing to his sunglasses meaningfully. Evelyn looked over to him and remembered he couldn't see but the next moment she screamed as bullets began to rain down on them. Sands took a deep breath.

"Fucking hell," he muttered under his breath and he pressed down on the accelerator pedal. They shot forwards, Evelyn saw the cartel fall behind...for the moment.

"Eyes on the road," said Sands from behind the wheel. Evelyn span round in her seat.

"Hard left," she commanded, "Little to the right." She couldn't resist turning around again.

"They're catching up!"

Sands gritted his teeth and forced the car to go even faster. He knew this was wrong, he knew they shouldn't be running now but he was still going forwards and now there was no turning back. The noise of objects whizzing by paralysed his sense of hearing completely.

"Evelyn?" he asked wishing she would stop worrying about the cartel and start worrying about being killed on the road.

"Straight on," said Evelyn her voice much more high pitched than usual, "There's no turning for a while, if you just..." Crash! Evelyn screamed again as a haze of bullets shattered the back windscreen completely. Sands found he was once again in the uncomfortable position of driving without instructions.

"If I just what?" he asked but Evelyn was utterly distracted now by the gaping hole that the cartel's weapons had made. Sands told himself sternly not to freak out, he had driven down these roads a million times before, surely he could remember them if he concentrated hard enough. He ignored the continuing gunfire, he ignored the petrified gasps coming from the passenger seat, he ignored every outside stimulus until...left here, then another left, continue for a mile. He could remember the way forwards as accurately as if someone had been reading the directions out to him from a map. He did not consider what could happen if his memory was wrong, there was no room to worry about that now his whole mind was occupied. There was more gunfire and Sands heard Evelyn whispering, "Oh god, oh god, oh god." Something clicked in the back of his mind and he remembered that he had once hidden a gun in this car in the glove compartment and forgotten to retrieve it. He took one hand off the wheel to open it and the gun fell into his hand. For one magical moment he felt in control again as he turned, aimed and fired through the place where the back windscreen had once been.

"Oh my god!" said Evelyn in disbelief, "You got one of them!" Sands grinned at her, threw his gun onto her lap and replaced both hands on the wheel with perfect serenity.

Evelyn forgot Sands couldn't see where he was going as he seemed so on top of things. She closed her eyes and her lips began moving in silent prayer, without a miracle she could not see a way out of this that did not end in death. Sands took a hard right which made Evelyn's eyes jerk open, she was beyond terror now. There was something blocking the road ahead, something large. Shit, a lorry!

"Sands!" she cried recovering herself just in time, "A lorry! Get in the other lane!" He did so with ease almost like he had been planning to do it all the time. Evelyn looked at him amazed, he was smiling. She felt a burst of insane laughter fighting to get out of here at the ridiculousness of the situation but then...

"Oh fuck," said Sands. It happened in slow motion. Evelyn saw Sands let go of the steering wheel as the car took on a will of its own. The cartel had shot and punctured both back tyres. At such speed there was nothing Sands could do. The car span 360 degrees careering right across the road so that the world blurred in front of Evelyn's eyes. For a fleeting instant it felt like a funfair ride, it gave the same stomach churning feeling, until smack!

The sudden impact threw Evelyn forwards but she was caught by her seatbelt before she hit the dashboard. The window next to her smashed and she was showered by broken glass. And then everything was still and silent. It all felt so unreal, time still seemed to be moving slowly stretching out seconds so they seemed to span a lifetime. Evelyn felt like someone had picked her up and shaken her until her brains were scrambled. Her eyes remained closed until she remembered where she was and what she was doing there. Fearing the worst she opened her eyes but there was no pain. She sat up slowly and realised she had been extremely lucky. This was not the case for Sands. Evelyn turned to see that his side of the car had collided full on with a huge tree hence their sudden stop. The driver side door had completely caved in and Sands was now impaled though the abdomen by a twisted part of it. Evelyn could see blood all over him, all over the car and splattered on the cracked windscreen.

"Oh god," she said as she took in what her eyes were seeing. Her fingers unlocked her seatbelt clumsily and she frantically climbed onto her seat and leaned over towards Sands. He was still alive, he was still breathing, whether he was awake or not Evelyn would only know if he spoke.

"Sands?" Evelyn said her voice abnormally squeaky, "Sands? Please say something Sands, please!" She was begging now not wanting to touch him in case she hurt him even more.

"What do you want me to say?" Sands asked and a smile momentarily flickered on his lips before the pain wiped it away. Evelyn felt tears of mingled relief and panic roll down her cheeks.

"You're not crying again are you?" Sands asked feigning irritability to cover up his own fear.

"No," Evelyn said.

"Liar," said Sands softly. He could tell something was badly wrong. He was pinned down by something but worse than that it appeared to be cutting right into him. He did not want to think about how deep that something might go and was glad that he could not see it. Evelyn was just trying to figure out how she could best free Sands when the passenger door suddenly opened. Evelyn looked around and saw three members of the cartel looking right back at her, their guns out in front of them.

"Step outside," one of them commanded. He had a thick Mexican accent but Evelyn had no difficulty understanding him.

"No," she replied shaking her head. She found she was no longer scared of them, her fear of them paled in comparison to the fear she had of losing Sands.

"Don't make me ask again," drawled the cartel man. Evelyn simply looked back at him disobediently. He had never been a patient man. In one fluid movement he had reached inside the car and grabbed Evelyn's wrist. As he began to pull her out Evelyn grabbed onto anything she could reach but it was a futile effort. Sands realised what the cartel were doing as he heard Evelyn struggling against them.

"Fucking leave her alone," he spat and he tried to sit up but fell back gasping as he realised the hard way that whatever was inside him wasn't about to move. He heard a man laughing, laughing at him.

"And what are you going to do about it fucker?" asked the cartel member sneeringly. Evelyn gave a cry of pain as she was yanked from the car. She hit the ground and broken glass cut her hands and knees as they made contact. Sands tried once again to free himself but all he got for his troubles was more pain. He could taste blood, that couldn't be a good sign. He could now hear Evelyn trying to fight her way back to him, she was trying to make the cartel let her go but it was no use.

Sands struggled until he began to cough, blood bubbling in his throat. He heard the sounds of car doors slamming, an engine starting and then the car driving away. So they were just going to leave him here to die? Sands cursed them loudly with every word he could think of, it wasn't until he had exhausted himself into finishing this diatribe that he heard something else. A slow crackling sound reached his ears which at first Sands did not recognise but soon it was accompanied by the acrid smell of burning. They had set the car on fire!


	15. Return of the Mariachi

A/N: Firstly, cheers for all the reviews! Love to you all! Secondly, no one has complained about switching POV's so far so I'll assume it's clear to everybody...I hope this chapter is the same. Thirdly (and this is especially for Sylvia and anyone else who was wondering) the reason Evelyn got in the wrong side of the car was pure panic, she would not have been able to drive in her condition, she's never faced situations like this and is not able to keep calm like Sands. Hope that clears that up for you.

Fourthly, I would like to recommend Scarlett Burns' OUTIM fanfic "_Sands through the Hourglass_". I only just got round to reading it and...wow!

And finally, happy reading everybody!

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_Chapter 14: Return of the Mariachi_

Nino had run but not very far. He had run until he was sure Sands wouldn't be able to hear his footsteps any more. He knew a good hiding place which he could still just about squeeze into; it was a cave only accessible through a tiny crack in the rock. He saw the cartel's car speed past and when he was sure there was only one car Nino sucked his stomach in and exited the cave. He looked into the distance and saw Evelyn's car closely followed by the black one of the cartel. Run and hide Sands had said, but he couldn't just abandon him and Evelyn now they were in trouble! He had to find help!

Nino turned and ran, if he had been looking where he was going he would have been able to stop before smashing straight into someone who had also been watching the cartel. He bounced off the man and landed in the dirt.

"Pardon senor!" he said at once. The man gave him a small forgiving smile and then returned to watching the car chase. He had dark hair that reached to just above his jaw and dark eyes which were sharp and alert. He looked like a Mexican, with dark skin and the right build, but he was taller than the average Mexicans Nino knew. He estimated the man to be just under six feet tall. He was wearing a simple white shirt, cool in the heat. His trousers were black and studded with ornate silver buckles. Most intriguing of all he was carrying what Nino presumed to be a guitar case. When Nino looked back at the man's face he saw an expression of hatred as the man watched the two cars disappear over the horizon. Perhaps this man could help!

"Pardon senor," said Nino proceeding in his native tongue, "I really need some help."

"I don't have any money," said the man without even looking down.

"I don't want money senor," said Nino insistently, "I need help! My friends are in trouble!" El Mariachi heard the desperate plea from the young boy and tore his eyes away from the road.

"Explain," he said. Nino quickly recounted what had happened. He hadn't got a clue who this man was but he needed someone to help or it would be too late.

"Did you say senor Sands?" El asked when Nino had finished speaking.

"Si," said Nino. El frowned. Senor Sands? Could that possibly be the American who had employed El eight months ago?

"Senor?" said Nino. He was looking up his face full of hope.

"Ok," said El, "Let's go."

El walked back to his motorbike his buckles jangling with each step. The little boy was jogging to keep up.

"Where are we going senor?" he asked.

"To find your friends," said El as his bike came into view. Nino grinned widely.

El had Nino held securely in front of him so he could be sure the kid was safe. He hoped they did not have to go far; he did not dare to go fast with a child on board. He would never have let his daughter ride with him. Fortunately he saw the cars stationary up ahead so he pulled over.

"Come on," he said helping Nino off the bike. He led the kid behind an old abandoned shed but Nino made to pull back.

"Senor, we're going the wrong way," he protested. El put a finger to his lips and pushed Nino down to the floor. Nino looked up at him confused but El was no longer looking at him. He had just remembered what he had left behind, his all important guitar case.

El and Nino crept closer, keeping low so they couldn't be seen. Nino gasped when they got close enough to see what had happened. El had to cover the boy's mouth to stop him yelling out. Evelyn's car was completely wrecked; El could see that both the back tyres had been shot flat which would have been the cause of the accident. It was the driver's side that had collided with the thick tree, the only tree for miles around. El knew there was a real possibility that whoever had been driving had been killed on impact. He crouched very still, his hand still silencing Nino, and watched as the cartel advanced upon the crashed car, guns in hand. El thought Nino was going to escape his grip when he saw Evelyn being taken away kicking and screaming. Nino wanted to get to her, to save her but El held the kid firmly. They both waited to see what they would do to Sands but only one of the men returned to Evelyn's car which what looked like a fuel tank in his hands. El squinted to see more clearly. The cartel's car had started and appeared to be waiting for the last member to join them. El cursed himself, why had he left his weapons behind?!

The remaining cartel member was now pouring liquid over the car, covering the roof completely. When the canister he was pouring from was empty he threw it aside and removed a cigarette packet from his top pocket walking away from the car as he did so. He took a deep drag of his cigarette then turned and flicked it, still burning, onto the car roof. Instantly the whole car was aflame. Nino's eyes grew wide with fright but he had stopped struggling now. The man from the cartel rejoined his companions and the black car reversed onto the road and sped away but neither El nor Nino were paying that any attention any more.

Now El made his move. If Sands had not been removed from the car that meant he was still inside and now the whole thing was on fire. He told Nino to stay put but was not surprised to hear the little boy's footsteps following him for a while as he ran to the burning vehicle. The smoke was already chokingly thick. El covered his mouth and nose with his shirt as crude protection and moved forwards, his eyes stinging. He could see the passenger window had smashed so he aimed for it. The heat from the flames was almost unbearable but El ignored it and bent down. He saw Sands at once, and he also saw the reason he wasn't getting out of the car himself.

"Meirde!" whispered El. He could see the metal that had once been the car door had travelled right into Sands. An inch further up and it would have punctured his lung, but even considering that things did not look good. Without a pause El wrenched open the scalding hot door and climbed inside. He felt like he had just crawled inside an oven, his very skin felt like it was about to ignite.

At first he thought Sands was unconscious, as he was not being able to see his eyes through the dark glasses, passed out from a combination of heat and pain but when El tried to pull the twisted metal from him he found he had been mistaken. Sands grabbed his wrist and held it with a surprisingly strong grip.

"No," he said simply, blood trickling from one corner of his mouth.

"Shut up," said El who was in no mood to be patient. Sands coughed weakly and tried to sit up which pushed the metal deeper into him. El pushed him back down roughly. The heat was overwhelming and any moment now the flames would reach the car's fuel tank and there would be a massive explosion. El had no time to waste. He forgot about making Sands comfortable and simply pulled at the metal impaling him with all his might. Blood bubbled up out of Sands' mouth and he groaned agonisingly as the blood soaked metal slid out of him. El felt his fingers begging him to let go of the sharp metal but he did not until Sands was free and he was sure there was a big enough gap for him to fit through. El grabbed the injured man and pulled him from the smouldering wreckage not a moment too soon. El had only just managed to get ten metres from the car when there was an ear splitting bang accompanied by a blast that threw both men to the ground as the car exploded.

Nino had seen El disappear into the smoke, now it was a waiting game. The thick black smoke pouring from the flames was irritating Nino's nose and throat making him cough. His eyes were watering, mostly because of the smoke but there were emotional tears in there too. El had still not come into view, Sands was no where to be seen. Suddenly Nino was thrown backwards to the floor as a deafening explosion meant the fire had reached the fuel tank. As soon as the air above him cooled Nino scrambled to his feet his eyes wide with horror. The car had completely flipped over, the roof had caved in. Anyone inside would have been crushed instantly. Terrified Nino ran forwards praying for a miracle to save Sands, and out of the scene of hell his prayer was answered.

The Mariachi was getting up from the ground, his face blackened by smoke. He picked the now completely unconscious Sands up and half carried, half pulled him towards the little boy who was waiting for them.

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A/N: Ah, watched Pirates of the Caribbean today. Gotta love Jack. :D! Hope you enjoyed the chapter...let me know what you thought.


	16. Denial

A/N: I'm updating earlier than planned as a big thank you to all my readers and reviewers. I'm sorry the last chapter was short, hopefully this will make up for it.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. It's grey, cloudy and cold here in London and it's been a bit of a difficult weekend for me so far so thank you to everyone who cheered me up with interesting/kind/long/lovely reviews! I can't believe I've got over 100 now, I'm so immensely flattered.

Enjoy!

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_Chapter 15: Denial_

"I'm sorry baby..." Her voice was echoing inside his head again. Then came the same dawning comprehension as he realised what was about to happen to him. He screamed, sat bolt upright and then felt a stab of pain more intense than anything in his dream shoot right up through his body. It forced Sands to lie back down again, his breath escaping in a sharp hiss. For a few moments his lungs refused to inhale, they felt like they were being stabbed with knives. Sands desperately wanted to make sense of the darkness but he couldn't, he wanted to know what was happening to him.

"Senor Sands, don't worry." A familiar, relieved sounding voice spoke from close beside him. Sands struggled to identify the voice's owner but his mind was working very slowly. Sands felt the person grab his hand. The hand that now held his was very small.

"Nino?" he asked rather blurrily.

"Si senor, it's Nino," replied the young boy. He sounded close to tears. Sands could still feel the stabbing pain; it had not faded with his dream.

"What happened?" he asked hearing his words slur together.

"Senor El Mariachi, he saved you. You were trapped and it was on fire. Senor Mariachi said you had some of the car right through you senor!" The boy's English always suffered when he tried to say things too fast. Sands could not make sense of what he was saying. El Mariachi? The guitar guy? His head hurt but he forced himself to remember everything that had happened. The cartel, the car, he was driving, Evelyn was next to him, Evelyn was screaming, glass breaking, pain...lots of pain...Evelyn reaching over to him, the cartel...

"Where's Evelyn?" Sands asked making another attempt to sit up. Nino stood up and placed his hands on Sands' shoulders to restrain him.

"Try and rest senor," he said soothingly.

"Where's Evelyn?" Sands asked again more frantically. Nino looked at Sands nervously before answering.

"With the cartel senor."

El had left Nino in charge of Sands. They had taken him to hospital but Nino had insisted that Sands would be most displeased if he did not wake up at home. He didn't like hospitals, Nino had said. El had gone along with the boy; he seemed to know what he was doing. The hospital had given El some strong painkillers, but had not looked pleased to be discharging such a seriously injured patient especially as that patient was not even conscious. El had not been in much of a position to argue. He was suffering from excessive smoke inhalation but he was not too bothered, he just wanted to sleep. As he settled in the guest room he thought about what had happened and what he had done. It had been the Sands he had known but with a difference. Nino had told him what had happened on the Day of the Dead. El had had no idea, the American might have been a bastard but he felt sorry for him none the less. He was a gunfighter, a CIA agent, a man in control; he did not suit being blind.

Sands had the same dream again that night. The dream that he had only had once before when Evelyn had come running to him. It was not him strapped to the table being leered at by Ajedrez, it was Evelyn. It wasn't him screaming in agony, it wasn't his blood everywhere. He woke up in a semi-drug induced delirium. Nino could not calm him down so he shouted for El who had to call a doctor. Sands felt the prick as a needle slid into his neck and then he knew nothing.

"How much did they give him?" Nino asked looking over at Sands' with concern. He had been out for almost twenty four hours now and was showing no signs of coming to any time soon.

"A lot," was El's somewhat vague reply. He had retrieved his guitar case and now had his guitar resting on his lap. He played a few chords.

"Senor?" Nino asked timidly.

"Si," said El not looking up from his guitar.

"What will happen to senorita Evelyn?" El paused before answering; he had been thinking about that a lot too.

"I believe the cartel may already have killed her," he said. Nino's lip trembled and he turned away on the pretence of fussing over Sands who had just emitted a low groan. El took himself and his guitar outside, he could not stand the guilt anyway but seeing the kid crying was just making it worse.

Sands felt oddly numb. He was not quite sure whether he was asleep or awake until he heard Nino's voice talking softly in Spanish.

"Please be alright senor," he was saying, "Please be alright."

"What's your definition of alright?" Sands knew that just by speaking he would have put a bright smile on the boy's face.

"Senor Sands!" he cried happily, "Can I get you anything?" Sands lifted one hand and ran it over his abdomen; he could feel a bandage there.

"Get me the Mariachi."

El was watching the ex-CIA agent. He did not know whether he was asleep or not since he had not moved or spoken. As he stood there El recalled Nino's telling of the Day of the Dead. He had retold it with childlike innocence, if such a story can be told with any innocence at all. El found his gaze drawn to the dark glasses that had rested on Sands' face permanently. Part of him wanted to see what was behind them, but another part hoped that Sands never took them off.

"How long do you intend to stand there watching me?" Sands suddenly asked. His voice was a little distant but his irritation was plain to hear, it masked the man's great deal of pain.

"As long as I like," replied El coolly, "How are you feeling?" Sands scowled at him which was reply enough.

"Why did you come back?" Sands asked, "You had your revenge, you took my money, what more do you want?"

"It is a good job I did come back," said El as he sat down, "Or you would be no more."

"And what a terrific loss to the world that would be," Sands snapped back painfully, "Are you going to answer my question or not?" His face was pinched with pain and his words were sharpened by it.

"Si," said El wearily, he had forgotten what it was like to deal with Sands, "Si, I'll answer your question. I came back because I heard the cartel had regrouped."

"And you wanted to win the country's heart by resuming your role as the gun toting hero, is that it?" asked Sands grimacing at the effort of having the conversation.

"No," said El who chose to view Sands' barbed comments as an encouraging sign that he would be ok, "I've been picking off the remaining members so I could save people from the pain I have suffered at the hands of people like them."

"How touching," said Sands sarcastically.

"Considering that I saved your life I think you should think about being a little more grateful," said El with a smile, he knew how much that would rile Sands but the ex-Agent did not rise to the bait. Instead he smiled, a chillingly creepy smile that made El want to shiver.

"Come over here," Sands said softly. Though it was spoken quietly it was a command and El found he was walking at once. He stopped by Sands and leaned close to him. That was what Sands had been waiting for. Suddenly El found that Sands had him held tightly by the shirt front and there was a gun pressed against his temple.

"Now that I've got your attention," said Sands all softness gone from his voice leaving it harsh and cold, "I want you to be absolutely clear on the fact that I owe you nothing, savvy? Not only did you save my life without my permission but more importantly than that you let the woman I love be taken by the cartel right from under your stupid Mexican nose and I am telling you now that if you do not get her back to me I will remove one of your eyeballs, insert this gun into the hole and skull fuck you to death." Sands let El go, fell back onto the bed feeling horribly dizzy and let the gun fall harmlessly to the floor.

El straightened up and surveyed the man before him with new interest. There had been a few elements in that little routine that had surprised El greatly. Firstly, Sands, Sheldon Jeffrey Sands, formerly of the Central Intelligence Agency, known for his lack of remorse, guilt or morals had just confessed aloud that he was in love with a woman. That seemed rather out of character, but, El reminded himself, the man had been through a hell of a lot since last November and a changed personality was perhaps to be expected. But loving someone so soon after Ajedrez's betrayal? So soon after Ajedrez had watched while they...El swallowed, he'd really rather not think about that right now. Secondly, threatening to remove one of his eyes had been an odd threat considering Sands' current condition; perhaps as he had experienced it first hand he knew it to be an adequate punishment. Again, El decided he would rather not dwell on that. Thirdly, Sands had released him and then promptly dropped his gun which was most unlike him, he knew better than that. It couldn't have been intentional which meant...El found Nino.

"Senor Sands is unconscious."

El sat with his guitar on his lap again. Nino was with Sands who had not woken. The kid was devoted to Sands like a son. This made El's thought drift to his own daughter. The pain of her memory travelled down his fingers and came out through the notes of his guitar so that the tune sang of sadness and a grief so consuming that everything else seemed utterly meaningless. Nino heard the tune drifting through the open window and felt a lump rise in his throat. Tears fell, running down his face silently. They were for Evelyn who he had grown to love in the time she had been a part of their lives, for the way she had been taken from them so cruelly and for all the bad things that happened to them all. El's fingers worked over the strings without conscious thought so his mind was free to think of other things. He thought of Sands and the woman he had seen being taken from the cartel. She would be dead now, he was certain of it. She was no use to them any other way as they clearly believed Sands to be dead too. El could tell Sands was not going to cope with Evelyn's death well, perhaps he would not cope with it at all. Had he coped with Carolina's death well? Not a day went past when he did not feel the pain of his wife's death like a knife twisting in his heart. The tune he was playing reached such a grief filled pitch that it was painful to listen to. El silenced the instrument and closed his eyes. There was nothing more terrible than losing someone you loved.

Sands was dreaming, and for the first time since the Day of the Dead he was not dreaming of the Barillo cartel's torture. It was also the first time he had dreamt without any visual image. Instead of seeing he could hear everything. He was in a room with a handful of people. There was a woman in pain, Evelyn. A frightened Evelyn, all alone with nothing and no one to protect her. He heard footsteps, heavy and masculine and his mouth went very dry. He heard Evelyn crying softly as the man approached her. Then there was a loud bang of a gunshot and the crying stopped. Sands woke and sat up, a movement he immediately regretted as a ripple of pain made him want to pass out again but he did not lie back down. He struggled to remember where he was and then realised he was in his own room, his own house. El must have got him back here somehow but he did not care, he did not feel the slightest bit grateful. He listened for a moment but heard nothing, Nino and the Mariachi must be somewhere else. He hated not knowing what time it was, he didn't even know if it was day or night. He swung his legs over the side of the bed with difficulty. His body protested but he ignored it. He stood up and almost collapsed on the floor but he was determined to stay standing so he did. He moved forwards his teeth set together. The pain was removing his ability to negotiate his way around the room so he was forced to stretch out a hand to find the doorway and he hated himself for it. When he found it he clung to the doorway for a moment before continuing.

El was sitting on a chair on the porch his guitar still on his lap. The night was cool and pleasant. The air so still that the tune he was playing carried for quite a distance into the darkness. Sands heard the guitar and followed its sound. El was so wrapped up in the music and his own memories that he failed to hear Sands approach. He realised he was there only when the other man was almost at his elbow. He gave a startled jump and the music stopped abruptly. Sands had a cutting remark on the tip of his tongue but the pain gripping him did not allow him to say it. He collapsed onto a chair opposite the Mariachi and his breath escaped him in a low hiss. El saw how he gripped the chair tightly and saw him swallowing down each wave of pain.

"You shouldn't be up," he said returning to his guitar.

"Fuck you," snarled Sands in a breathless tense voice. El imagined there was a lot more he wanted to say but couldn't. El's fingers played over the guitar for a while.

"You lost your nerve?" Sands asked abruptly.

"Pardon senor?" enquired El, his politeness infuriating Sands further. He winced as he moved to sit straight.

"I said," he spat, "Have-you-lost-your-nerve?" Each word was clearly defined and said with deliberate slowness.

"No," said El simply and he continued to play. Sands hit the table hard making the Mariachi look up.

"Why aren't you looking for her then?" he asked. El clapped his hand over the strings to silence them. Sands was talking about Evelyn which meant he was still in denial, this could not go on.

"She is dead Sands," said El bluntly.

"Did you see her body?" Sands asked calmly. The hand on the table top was clenched tight.

"No," replied El honestly.

"Then how the FUCK DO YOU KNOW SHE'S DEAD?!" roared Sands his voice filling the night air like a clap of thunder. El was silent, that outburst had cost Sands dearly. He sat back against the chair breathing sharply, one arm tight around his middle like a second bandage.

"Sands..." El began carefully.

"Shut up," said Sands weakly.

"Sands..."

"Shut up."

"Sands, I..."

"You deaf?" El gave up. He stood up and walked into the house, his guitar trailing by his side.


	17. What a little thing called love can do

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A/N: Hello to all! I have had my confidence as a writer knocked severely over the last couple of days, which has not been much fun (to put it mildly). As a consequence I am not feeling in the most positive frame of mind but these things happen.

I have (yet another) recommended story for y'all. I'm pretty sure most of you will have already read her stuff but in case you haven't I strongly advise you to check out _Neon Daisies'_ work. I haven't read the whole of her second OUTIM fanfic but if the first is anything to go by then it will be fantastic. But her other fics are wonderful too so if you have the time or inclination then please check them out.  
  
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_Chapter 16: What a little thing called love can do_

Sands thought about calling the Mariachi back, at least arguing with him distracted him from the pain but he would never have called him, his pride would never have allowed it. Sands sat very still his mouth tight shut to stop the cries of pain he longed to emit. He should have been used to pain by now but evidently it was not sort of thing a person could get used to. He heard footsteps but his brain was not working properly so he ignored them and whoever they belonged to until he heard El speak.

"I brought you painkillers," he said, "The doctor left them."

"Christ," said Sands with more relief than he would have liked. El watched Sands swallow the large pills and then lean back again wincing with every movement.

"Don't expect me to thank you," he snapped. El smiled wearily and then remembered Sands couldn't see.

"You're welcome," he said and he sat down again in the seat he had occupied before. They both sat in a silence for a long while. Gradually Sands relaxed a little, an indication that the painkillers were taking effect.

"Feel better?" El asked.

"I feel like shit," was Sands' reply. El rolled his eyes.

"Why do you care anyway?" asked Sands his voice more natural now, "Why are you still here?" That was a good question and one which El was not quite sure the answer to.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok," he answered eventually.

"Bullshit," said Sands. El found himself getting angry which was obviously the effect Sands had been trying to achieve.

"I saved your life," said El, "There didn't seem much point to going to that trouble and then walking away to let you die here."

"What do you expect me to do? Kiss your ass?" Sands asked.

"No," said El, "But if you insist..." Sands gave him a sardonic smile. El decided to change the subject.

"When you're fit again I suggest you leave here," he said. This statement received a bad reception.

"And why the fuck should I do that?" Sands asked. El wondered whether he ever got tired of swearing, he certainly got tired of listening to it.

"The cartel will hear you survived," said El.

"Fuck them."

"They will come to kill you."

"Can't you see that I don't give a fucking shit El?" Sands said temper flaring.

"Si," said El quietly. Silence descended on them both again. The sun was beginning to rise now, warming the air. This time it was Sands who spoke first.

"She's not dead." El was not sure what to say, anything was going to trigger a reaction. Apparently saying nothing had the same effect because Sands said, "Conversation is a two way thing fuckmook."

"She was taken by the cartel Sands, they will not have kept her alive." Sands shook his head.

"I don't believe you," he said, "Why didn't they just kill her right...then..." His question trailed off. El watched him closely. They had not killed her then for the same reason they had tortured Sands and then thrown him out onto the street. Sport. Fun. Whatever they wanted to call it. Sands shook his head again.

"No," he said under his breath but El heard him. There was nothing he could offer in the way of comfort. Suddenly he realised Sands had turned his head so that his dark glasses were staring right at him. El did not have time to react before Sands was on his feet and El was struck by how tall he seemed all of a sudden.

El fell off his chair at the first punch and landed hard on the floor. Sands had hit him square in the jaw with precision accuracy. Now he was above him. El tried to get out of the way but Sands kicked him hard in the ribs. Then Sands bent down and, with a show of strength El would never have thought possible even from an uninjured Sands, picked El up by the shirt and slammed him bodily against the wall of the house.

"Why didn't you save her?" Sands demanded, "You were there. You were right there. You could have saved her, why the fuck didn't you?" He slammed El into the wall again, the back of El's head bounced off the brick causing everything to spin for a moment.

"Answer me damn it!" shouted Sands.

"I didn't have my guns," said El rather pathetically but it was the truth. Sands laughed, a dry horrible laugh which conveyed no amusement whatsoever.

"You didn't have your guns?" he repeated in numb disbelief which turned abruptly to anger.

"Why the fuck didn't you have you god damn guns?!" he yelled and then he threw El to the floor. He could not have held him any longer anyway. He sunk to his knees and heard El get up.

"I don't give a shit if you kill me," Sands said, "Just don't do it in front of Nino." El had not even intended to strike Sands but clearly Sands was expecting him to exact revenge.

"I'm not going to kill you," he said. His jaw ached from the American's punch. Sands said nothing; he looked thoroughly defeated as if it had been him pinned against the wall. El bent down to help him up.

"I don't need your help," said Sands roughly.

"Yes you do," El said and he pulled Sands to his feet. Sands swayed slightly and then sat back down on his chair.

"It's alright Nino," he said, "Everything's fine." El turned and saw the little Mexican boy standing in the doorway wearing a pair of faded red pyjamas and an expression of uttermost concern. El looked back at Sands, how had he known the kid was there?

"Did he hurt you senor?" Nino asked eyeing El suspiciously. Sands smiled slightly.

"No," he said, "I may have hurt him a little but I'm sure he'll live." Nino hesitated uncertainly in the doorway.

"Make yourself useful kid," said Sands, "Make some coffee." Nino dashed off at once glad to have something to do.

"I don't even want any," said Sands once he knew Nino was out of earshot.

"I wouldn't mind," said El as he moved his jaw with his hand, "You punch hard."

"Just be grateful my guns are inside," said Sands dully his attention not entirely focused on El. El was grateful, he had not doubt that had Sands been armed he would have killed him.

Nino, who had got changed into a yellow T-shirt and khaki shorts, brought out the coffee. Sands felt the bulk of the pain returning but he hid it from Nino who would only worry himself and start fussing like an old woman. It was an awkward group they made sitting out on the porch in the morning sunshine. Nino tried to talk of things unconnected with the cartel or pain or misery or Evelyn but his efforts fell flat as Sands refused to comment and El's answers were short and abrupt. Sands was finding it increasingly difficult to hide his pain and wished Nino and El would leave so he could just scream but they were not about to disappear so Sands focused his mind elsewhere. He wanted Evelyn back and if that was going to happen he needed information. If he wanted information out of El he would have to plan carefully. First thing first...

"Nino, I need cigarettes and you might as well visit your family while you're out."

"Si senor," said Nino. He sounded hurt, he knew Sands was getting rid of him and Sands felt the accusing stare from El. It had to be done. Once Nino had hopped onto his bicycle and ridden away El asked, "Why did you want him gone?"

"I just did," said Sands. He paused, time to play.

"How many of the cartel are left?" he asked casually as if that were the kind of question everyone asked.

"Why?" asked El suspiciously.

"Christ El," said Sands letting the pain show clearly in his voice, "They killed Evelyn, is it so hard for you to just answer me?" El felt sorry at once, he was fooled, just as Sands intended him to be.

"Not many," said El, "Twelve at most. They have been unable to recruit new members and I have dramatically cut their numbers."

"Well done, you must be very proud." El wondered if Sands was this sarcastic with everybody.

"I thought you wanted me to answer," he said.

"Yes, answer not blow your own horn," said Sands. El bit back a retort, he would never win.

"So where did they take her?" Sands asked.

"You're not thinking of..."

"For Christ's sake El, I can't fucking see! How could I hope to fucking find the place?"

"Alright, alright," said El quickly, "They have a small stronghold south of the city, their last refuge. They probably went there."

"And that's where you'll go when your conscience decides you can stop baby sitting the blind man, am I right?" El was silent.

"I guess so," said Sands interpreting his silence as positive, "The sooner the better." He stood up with visible difficulty and entered the house.

Sands made his way into the kitchen. He could not stand unsupported for very long so he leant on the worktops. Damn the Mariachi for everything. That was the last thing he thought before he collapsed.

Nino did not go to his family as instructed but pedalled back to the house as fast as he could prepared to face Sands' anger. But neither Sands nor the Mariachi were in sight when he drew up outside the house. He jumped off his bike before it had completely stopped moving and sprinted into the house only to find El bending over an unconscious Sands. Nino dropped the cigarettes he was holding onto the floor.

"What have you done?!" he hollered in Spanish. He ran towards El and began to hit him with his fists. El grabbed the boy's shoulders which pinned his arms to his sides but Nino was not through yet. He kicked wildly and one well aimed shot connected with El's shin. El pushed the boy away so he could make time to speak.

"I haven't touched him," he said before Nino could gather himself for another attack, "I found him like this." Nino stood still.

"Really?" he asked.

"Really," replied El looking down at Sands, "He's been doing too much too soon." He knelt and picked Sands up gently. He carried him to his room followed by Nino who was spouting constant apologies and wringing his hands melodramatically. El deposited Sands on his bed and the American's sunglasses slipped.

"Meirde!" El stepped backwards appalled by the sight. Nino looked and fell silent. He walked up to Sands' bed and straightened the glasses without a word.

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A/N: I should have mentioned this ages ago (oops), I have been replying to reviews via email so if any of my anon reviewers would like me to reply to them this time then please include your email address so I can do so.

Once again thank you for all your wonderful comments, you all put a smile on my face! The response to the last chapter was really great, I can't thank you guys enough...but I'll keep trying. :D!


	18. Sands' plan

A/N: Hello everyone! Hope you're all ok. Ready for another chapter? I knew you would be. Sorry I have kept you in the dark about Evelyn for so long but now you know what poor Sands is going through...except his dark is a little more extreme I expect.

Without further ado...enjoy! :)

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_Chapter 17: Sands' plan_

Sands continued to push his recovery despite Nino and El's insistence that he take it easy. Not once did he mourn for Evelyn. El did not fail to notice this but he simply thought the man incapable of grief or any other deep emotion come to that, save for anger. Sands didn't care what he thought, if the Mariachi wasn't going to help him then he could fuck off. Sands cursed himself for still feeling weak and in pain. He staggered to the bathroom forcing himself to get up and move. He reached his intended destination and tasted blood. That couldn't be good. He spat it into the sink. He couldn't wait much longer.

"You should be in bed," said El as Sands sat down.

"Fuck you." Sands preferred being outside, he was willing to believe the fresh air was good for him. He lit a cigarette and smoked it as he thought. El had told him a great deal over the last week, more than he should have done but El had always been a simple man. Damn the Mariachi.

"I expect you would not appreciate being asked about Evelyn," said El unexpectedly. Sands wondered what the Mariachi was up to, he may have learnt to trust Nino and Evelyn but he was instinctively suspicious of everyone else. He continued to smoke as if El had said nothing at all but El was determined to break through the man's denial. If he really had loved this woman, which El frankly doubted, then he would have to show it sooner or later.

"I didn't think so," said El. He waited. Sands lit another cigarette.

"Couldn't she drive?" El asked.

"What?" asked Sands sharply proving he was listening.

"Couldn't she drive?" El repeated, "Is that why it was you driving the car?"

"She could drive," said Sands carelessly.

"Then why..."

"Because it happened that way." Sands short answers were annoying and they prompted El to go for the kill.

"I didn't think you'd be all that comfortable around woman after Aje...."

"Don't!" said Sands. He pointed at El with the hand that still held his cigarette, "Don't say her fucking name." El put up his hands in a gesture of compliance and although Sands could not see it he seemed to understand because he resumed smoking although he was visibly more tense. El noticed that his hand shook ever so slightly as he raised it to his mouth. He felt a tiny bit guilty.

"Never talk about that," said Sands. He flicked his finished cigarette to the ground and lit another one.

"Ok," said El who was wise enough to heed that piece of advice.

"You don't believe I love Evelyn do you?" asked Sands. He remembered he had never told Evelyn he loved her, not once, perhaps she didn't know it was true. He tried to push this thought to the back of his mind but it refused to budge.

"No," said El truthfully.

"You think you are the only man to fall in love?" Sands asked, "Think again Mariachi, think again." He threw the stub of his cigarette down, crushed it with his heel and then walked into the house. He had suddenly realised that he could not afford to waste another moment.

"Time for your medicine senor," said Nino. He was carrying a tray with a tall glass of water and several large pills upon it. He entered Sands' room quietly thinking Sands might be asleep and hoping he hadn't already woken him. But as Nino got closer to the bed he saw it was empty. That was when he heard it, the unmistakeable sound of a car engine starting. The tray fell to the floor.

"Senor Mariachi!" Nino cried, "Senor El!!!" The little boy was frantic.

"What?" El asked seeing the boy running towards him. Nino grabbed hold of El his eyes full of wild panic.

"Senor Sands," Nino said in Spanish, "He's taken his car, he's gone!" Nino had told him about the car and he could not help feeling angry with the boy.

"Would it be so hard to hide the car keys from a blind man?" he demanded. Nino hung his head. El sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said. Maybe it was this house, or maybe it was Sands but El found he had not felt this tense and quick to anger for a long time. El knew at once where Sands had gone of course. He had gone to find the girl.

* * *

She should have been dead. They should have killed her straight away but they had not and so here Evelyn was locked in the dark handcuffed to a radiator unable to even stand up. She knew they were waiting for something or more likely someone. Then she would die, she was sure of it. She had overheard one of them talking to someone on the phone, the person on the other end must have been shouting because the cartel member held the phone quite a distance away from his ear. The cartel man had apologised over and over again, saying something like he died instantly or words to that effect then Evelyn heard her name being mentioned and the shouting seemed to cease in intensity. Evelyn wished she had learnt more Spanish in the time she had been here so she could understand what was being said about her but it was too late now. They hadn't asked her questions or hurt her...much. The room was cold and she was shivering badly. She tried to move to keep warm but there was very little movement she could hope to achieve. There was little to distract her from the horrors that lay in the not too distant future.

She cried for Sands believing him to be dead. She had fallen in love with him so completely that knowing he was gone hurt like nothing else she had ever known. He hadn't been unconscious when they had set the car on fire, he would have been aware of exactly what was happening to him until...she wiped her eyes with her sleeve which was a difficult operation at the moment. She had screamed when she had seen the flames and tried to fight her way out of the car but she had had no chance. They had driven her away just as the flames had consumed the car completely and Evelyn was haunted by that image until it seemed the room in front of her was burning. She pressed her cheek against the cold metal of the radiator and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

El had started running hoping to find a vehicle of his own to "borrow" so he could chase after Sands and hopefully stop him before something really bad happened. He had only just turned the corner however when he stopped running. Sands' black car was in front of him, it had come to a halt apparently for no reason that El could fathom. El walked up to it slowly feeling cautious. Sands was sitting in the driver's seat his hands still gripping the steering wheel, one finger tapped on it impatiently as though he was waiting for something.

"You took your time," he said when El reached the open passenger window.

"How did you know it was me?" asked El. Sands gave him a dry don't-be-stupid look before he climbed out of the car. Before El could ask what Sands was doing he was looking down the muzzle of a gun.

"I want you to get in the car El," said Sands in a deadly calm voice. El decided Sands was highly unstable so going along with him seemed the best idea until he could think of a way out of this situation.

"The driving seat you fuckmook," Sands said with pronounced exasperation. El had been about to get in the passenger's side.

"Now what?" asked El once he was in front of the steering wheel. Sands was next to him, he had shut the passenger door. His pistol was aimed at El's head.

"You drive," said Sands in a patronising tone.

"Where?" asked El who had made no movement to start the engine.

"To where the cartel are," replied Sands and El realised he had planned this all along.

"Sands, listen..."

"No," said Sands hotly, "You listen. I'm the one with the gun. I'm the one in control." He looked set to continue but stopped abruptly. He had heard something.

"Where's Nino?" he asked.

"I told him to stay at the house," replied El.

"Idiot," growled Sands, "You should have told me you were bringing me back or something."

"Why?"

"Because he's followed you that's why." El looked in the rearview mirror. Sure enough pedalling furiously towards them on his bike was Nino. Sands opened the car door, his gun still trained on El.

"Piss off kid," he shouted harshly, "This has nothing to do with you."

With Sands distracted El seized his chance. He knocked the gun from Sands' hand. Sands' wrist slammed into the dashboard and he gave a little yelp of pain. He felt the gun slip from his fingers and lunged to grab it. El knew he could not afford to let this happen so he pushed the agent hard right where he knew the bandage to be. Sands gasped and fell sideways, out of the open car door and onto the dusty ground. Unfortunately for El the gun went with him. Nino abandoned his bike and sprinted onto the scene. Sands landed and a jolt of pain paralysed him completely. He thought he might pass out or at the very least vomit but fortunately he did neither. He had heard the gun fall too, he knew it had to be close by. Recovering partially Sands' hands searched the ground for his weapon until he heard the very definite sound of his own gun being cocked. He froze, and with some difficulty sat back so he wasn't on his hands and knees. He could taste blood again.

"Are you going to shoot me El?" he asked with a faint smile. He sounded as if he didn't much care if El did pull the trigger. El did not reply, his heart was racing.

"No!" Nino skidded to a halt in front of Sands, right in line with the gun, "I won't let you shoot him!"

"Step aside kid," said Sands and now there was real pain behind his words. Nino stubbornly stayed where he was.

"It's alright Nino," said Sands gently, "El won't shoot me." Nino looked over his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Si," said Sands wearily. Nino evidently believed him because he went to stand by Sands, he rested his little hand on Sands' shoulder and Sands did not shrug him off.

"How can you be sure I won't shoot?" asked El.

"You would have done it already," replied Sands calmly, "Besides, as you said, you saved my life, what would be the point of killing me now?" He began to get to his feet. El moved in to help but Sands only accepted help from Nino. When he was standing El noticed how strained he looked, as if every breath was costing him more than he had.

"Give me my gun," said Sands. El did so, though he wasn't quite sure why. Sands put the weapon away.

"I take it you remembered your own weapons this time," he said. El looked uncomfortable. He hadn't. He had run out of the house so fast, he had only been thinking of stopping Sands. Sands heaved a heavy sigh.

"I don't know why I bother," he said to himself.

El drove them all back to the house. They stopped but no one moved.

"I'm going with or without your help," said Sands. He was sitting in the back now with Nino, who to El's surprise and considerable amusement, was holding Sands' hand.

"You'll be killed," said El frankly.

"Hasn't happened so far," said Sands with a small shrug, "I don't see why that would change." El got the distinct impression he had used the word 'see' on purpose.

"What about Nino?" asked El.

"Nino, get out," said Sands bluntly.

"But senor!" protested Nino. Sands raised one hand for silence and Nino shut his mouth at once.

"I don't want you getting hurt," Sands said stiffly as if the words were hard to say.

"I don't want you getting hurt either," said Nino his grip on Sands' hand much tighter now.

"I won't," said Sands. Nino looked up at him. El could tell the kid actually believed him.

"Ok senor," he said, "I'll stay here." He opened the car door but before he got completely out he asked one more question.

"Are you going to save Evelyn senor?" Sands turned to him.

"Si," he said, "Now fuck off."

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A/N: Once again, thank you to all my reviewers! I love hearing from you and you really cheered me up with your encouragement and kind comments. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint anyone. 

Oh, and last chapter's title was open to interpretation. I called it that because there were a lot of things that happened that wouldn't have happened if the people involved didn't love someone (did that even make sense? oh well :D).

As always let me know what you think.


	19. Party tricks

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A/N: Finally....the action begins :D!

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_Chapter 18: Party tricks_

El collected his guns and placed them carefully on his person. Then he grabbed one last thing before heading back out to the car. Sands was still on the backseat, his head back. As soon as he heard El coming however he sat upright, he didn't want the Mariachi knowing how badly he was hurting but El has already guessed. Sands wanted to move to the front of the car again but the thought of moving when he didn't have to was almost as painful as the motion itself so he stayed where he was. No matter, he wasn't driving anyway, he didn't want to do that again. He would never have admitted it to anyone but driving blind was one of the most frightening things Sands had ever done.

"I brought you something," said El as he climbed in the car.

"How sweet," said Sands unable to stop himself.

"Well, if you don't want any painkillers then I'll..."

"Fuck El, give them to me." El did so; he wasn't cruel enough to tease the man any further.

The journey was not a particularly long one but it was long enough for the painkillers to spread their magic. Sands twisted a silencer onto his pistol. He had not done anything as crazy as this since the Day of the Dead and even then he'd been so hopped up on cartel drugs he was barely aware he was doing anything dangerous at all. He knew the Mariachi thought this a pointless quest but he didn't care if El left him once they got there, it was the getting there that Sands couldn't do on his own. El stopped the car.

"We're here," he said unnecessarily.

"No shit," said Sands. El took a deep breath to stop himself getting angry at the American which would be both pointless and counterproductive. They both got out of the car.

"Guards?" asked Sands.

"Four," replied El. Four men, possibly cartel members but more likely hired muscle, stood guarding the entrance to the somewhat rundown looking building that El knew to be the cartel's last remaining hideaway. He had been planning to take it down one day but had wanted to wait for a plan to form, he hadn't wanted to go storming in unprepared and he had not wanted anyone with him least of all a blind man. He shrugged, sometimes things just refused to go the way you wanted them to. El had parked just out of sight of the building so although the guards would know a car had parked there they couldn't see them yet.

"Ready?" he asked Sands. Sands did not answer. His movements were much easier now and although his face still retained the pinched look of constant pain he was less tense. The guards were pacing, their boots crunching on the gravel. El raised his gun but before he could fire a single shot all four men fell down dead. El turned to see Sands' pistol smoking.

"Well, what did you expect?" Sands asked sensing El's look of disbelief. El shook his head as Sands walked forwards.

"How did you do that?" asked El as he caught Sands up, he could not keep the astonishment from his voice.

"It was nothing more than a party trick," said Sands expressionlessly.

There were some steps up to the building's entrance. Sands of course did not know this and almost fell up them.

"Fuck," he cursed as he righted himself. He hated steps, stairs, anything like that. He only had three steps up to his own porch, that was all, there was no upper storey. El hesitated.

"Can I help?" he asked. Sands was supremely reluctant but then he thought of Evelyn.

"You're going to have to," he said resentfully. El could have taken the piss, and was sorely tempted, but then he decided he valued having his eyes intact. He gripped Sands' elbow and gently lead him forward. They carried on shooting guards as they found them as easily as if they had practised this for weeks. Sands' aim fascinated El; he never missed, not once. Sands could feel something burning inside him, something very like the feeling of power he had once exerted over his surroundings. Today he had a purpose. The gun felt comfortable in his hand, it meant he was in control; it made him a killer again.

Three guards, two killed by two bullets, one from El and one from Sands. The third had ducked as had El but Sands was still standing. He was utterly motionless the arm holding the gun outstretched. El hissed at him to get down but Sands silenced him with a sharp wave of his hand. He was waiting, listening and El remained silent knowing that another sound from him could ruin everything. For several moments nothing moved. And then the guard made his mistake. He looked over the desk he was crouched behind and that was all Sands needed. He struck like lightening, the trigger was pulled, the bullet hit home. The man splayed backwards from the force of the bullet and he landed on his back, dead.

El looked from the dead man to the blind gunman before him.

"That was amazing," said El frankly. Sands' gun fell limply to his side.

'That was amazing' He had spun round with his gun out. Evelyn had put her hands in the air, somehow he had known she would do that even without being able to see it.

'I'm sorry. I knocked but no one answered, the door was open...I should have waited outside." Her voice came back to him. Soft and quavering as it had been that day. God, he loved her.

"Sands?" that was El. He would have to let go of her voice to reply to him and he didn't want to.

"Sands? Snap out of it." But Sands wanted to listen to her. Evelyn's voice was in his head and Ajedrez's wasn't. In that moment he knew he would never dream of Ajedrez again. The pain would always be there but Evelyn had saved him, the cycle was broken. Now he had a new voice to listen to. A sharp pain jolted him back to reality. El had slapped him round the face. Sands head jerked to the side and stayed there. His cheek stung. His glasses had slipped down his nose slightly; he pushed them back up, every movement icy cool.

"I had to," said El his voice staccato with nervousness, "You know that." Sands still hadn't moved and for one crazy moment El thought he was listening ready to shoot as soon as El moved but Sands' pistol remained firmly by his side.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again," he said in a cold voice.

"Ok," agreed El. Sands gave a small inexplicable shiver and then said, "Am I that interesting that you must stare at me?" His composure had fractured.

"I wasn't staring," lied El, "Let's move on." Sands let El go first.

The building was quiet. It was impossible to know whether the gunfire had alerted everyone else but El thought that was most probable. All was quiet until El heard a dull thud. He span round gun at the ready only to see Sands had walked squarely into a table. The table edge had been just the right height to hit him right in the stomach, where the car door had sliced through him. Sands stumbled backwards gasping. El rushed over and went to steady him.

"Don't-fucking-touch-me," Sands said his fingers outstretched towards El so he couldn't come any closer. He was struggling against the fresh pain, a deeper darkness than normal gathered in the corners of his mind but he pushed it away. He couldn't fail Evelyn now, he just couldn't.

"El," he said with difficulty knowing he would have to admit defeat, "I can't breathe." El stepped forwards and Sands' outstretched hand closed around his shirt. The Mariachi let Sands lean on him until Sands was ready to stand alone once more.

"I have to find her," said Sands and he released El. El understood. He just hoped they had not left it too long to help Evelyn, or come too soon and risked Sands' life. It was the first time he had felt properly guilty about not rescuing the girl because it was the first time he had allowed himself to consider the possibility of her being alive. But Sands believed, that's why he had never mourned her. He did love her. El could not help thinking that hell must have actually frozen over for such a thing to have occurred.

They moved through the house silent once again. Sands did not blame El for the table incident, though that was probably only because he was concentrating on other things, but El blamed himself. He stuck close to the Agent, occasionally too close. Sands bumped into him if El stopped suddenly. At first the American cursed when this happened but then he stopped cursing, he stopped communicating completely. He was tired and the effect of the painkillers was wearing off far too quickly. Very soon he would find it difficult to move at all. El hated himself for allowing this to happen. Why hadn't he done this before? He should have attempted a rescue alone and not let Sands get out of bed. Sands should have been in hospital under the influence of morphine or some other pain relieving drug. Better yet the cartel should have left him alone. They had tortured him and left him to die but the problem was he had ruined their plan and not died. Sands had beaten all the odds and still the cartel wouldn't leave him alone. Now they had taken Evelyn and they had tried to kill Sands again. El was reminded of his own desperate situation with the murdering General Marquez. The constant need to look over your shoulder, the ever present deadly threat, the total lack of security. Until the cartel were dead, every last one of them, Sands would never be free.

"Don't you think it's a bit quiet?" Sands asked cutting through El's thoughts. El stopped and listened.

"Yes," he said with finality. They kept on moving.

The cartel must have known they were coming. It felt like a trap but still El kept moving. He had to finish this before Sands faded completely.

"Fuck," said Sands. El turned. Sands had not bumped into anything this time but he was clutching his abdomen obviously considerably distressed.

"Are you...?"

"Cut the crap El," snapped Sands, "I had a car door shoved through my stomach, of course I'm not fucking ok." There was a pause and then Sands smiled. It was a flickering effort-laden smile but it was a smile and El returned it knowing Sands would see it in his own way. He was just thinking that things might turn out all right after all when a scream ripped through the air. The unmistakeable sound of a women in pain.

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A/N: Uh oh...another cliffhanger...don't kill me. :)

Thank you for all your reviews, I really enjoy reading them and they really encourage me to update quickly.

(Sylvia: I'm glad some people picked up on the 'could taste blood again' thing. Very pleasing. Your temporary blindness sounds horrible! How often does it happen? Sands would not have been able to drive any further than he did, he really REALLY didn't want to drive at all but his plan to make El help him wouldn't have worked otherwise. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!)


	20. Blind panic

A/N: Here it is, the next chapter! More action for all of you that like it......

...enjoy!

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_Chapter 19: Blind panic_

El could not stop him. Sands flew from the room like a man with wings, all injury forgotten. He had recognised that woman's scream even though he had never heard it before. That was his Evelyn's scream, it could be no other. His panic made him stupid, it made him foolish. He didn't even think of the cartel, his only thought was Evelyn and that he had to get to her. He burst through the door and heard the clicks of several guns being cocked, at least six of them from all directions. They were enough to stop him in his tracks.

"Why Agent Sands, how nice of you to join us." Sands barely heard the voice, he was listening too intently for any sign of Evelyn but he could hear nothing. He couldn't see the man glance at the other cartel members with murdering ferocity. The cartel leader had been assured Sands was dead, killed instantly in the car crash that had brought Evelyn to him. He had been livid of course; he had wanted to kill Sands himself but having his bitch seemed like the next best thing. He had travelled to the place Evelyn was being held and had been about to kill her when...he looked at Sands. His fellow cartel members may have lied to him but at least now he would have the sweet pleasure of doing what he had wanted to do all along.

"Take his weapons." Sands felt rough hands remove his guns and then the men backed off.

"Take his glasses."

"No," said Sands and he spread his hands out in an attempt to touch the men before they could touch him. Taking his dignity was not something he would stand for, but he only had two hands and there were six of them. He was pushed hard in the back so that he was propelled forwards. Someone had stuck their leg out in front of him, Sands fell over it and landed painfully on the floor. His glasses slipped off his nose and hit the floor. They slid a little way before stopping. Sands hung his head as everyone around him gasped, his teeth grinding against each other.

They were all staring at him. Sands could feel their stares boring into him. He got up onto his hands and knees and tried to hide the pain radiating from his abdomen. He wanted to reach for his glasses but for the moment he remained still, listening.

"Well, well," said a sneering voice, "Look at what my dear late uncle did to you." Sands felt someone's hand grip his hair and force his face upwards.

"That is disgusting," said the voice and the man released Sands, "Put on your fucking glasses before I vomit." Sands was happy to oblige. He knew exactly where his glasses had landed and his hand had almost closed upon them when someone kicked them away from him.

"What's the matter Sheldon? They're right in front of you, can't you see them?" Sands felt sick and it was nothing to do with his injury this time. Humiliation was the course they had chosen for him, he should have known. Sands had followed the sound of his glasses skidding across the cold stone floor, where were they? A basement? He still knew where his glasses were. He reached out for them knowing they would be kicked away from him at the last second. How predictable.

"Come on Sands, they're right there." Sands wanted very much to stop playing this stupid game but he knew he had to buy time. His fingers closed around them. This time they were not kicked away but crushed viscously under the heel of one of the cartel. They crushed one of Sands' fingers in the process; he heard it break but refused to acknowledge the pain. He would not give them that satisfaction. The cartel with his boot pinning Sands down laughed.

"Agent Sands," said the voice Sands' now recognised as belonging to Barillo's nephew. He sounded like a younger version of his uncle but no memory of Barillo's words came to Sands as he expected them to, this was a considerable relief, he didn't want to go to pieces in front of these fuckers.

"Let him up," said Barillo's nephew. The boot was lifted from Sands' hand and Sands resisted the temptation to cradle his broken finger. He was hauled to his feet.

"We haven't been properly introduced," said Barillo's relative, "I am Carlos, new leader of the Barillo cartel." Sands would have thrown an insult at the man regarding his blood line but Carlos had just gripped his hand to shake it, the hand with the broken finger. Sands couldn't help inhaling sharply. He was glad he couldn't see Carlos' satisfied smirk.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself?" asked Carlos.

"No," said Sands.

"It's a shame you can't see this coming," said Carlos right before he drove his knee deliberately into Sands' stomach. Sands' froze before collapsing. Blood was filling his mouth. The pain exploded and laughter filled the air.

El knew it had been a trap now but they hadn't known Sands was alive until he had stepped into that room, now their attention was completely focused on him. El tried not to think about what they would be doing to him. He couldn't hear anything which meant his imagination was fortunately dulled for the time being. He had not been able to stop the agent from bolting, that was another thing to blame himself for later but right now he had to focus. El felt his gun, heavy in his hand. The timing would have to be right, if it wasn't then he would get Sands, himself and Evelyn killed. If Evelyn wasn't already dead. He crept forwards and sounds started to come to his attention. The thumping of boots on something solid, the cracking as something broke and the sounds of someone trying very hard not to scream.

Sands couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he couldn't move. He couldn't hear Carlos' men laughing at him, but Carlos himself wasn't laughing.

"You killed my cousin," said his voice and it shook with anger, "Did you think I would forget that fucker?" He forced a bleeding Sands to his feet much like Ajedrez had done last November in the hot Mexican sun.

"You killed Ajedrez," snarled Carlos, "No one gets away with hurting my family, do you hear me?"

"I'm not deaf," said Sands. His voice came out a lot weaker than he would have liked but at least he had shown he wasn't about to surrender. Carlos slapped him round the face so hard that he would have fallen had two cartel members not been holding him up. As it was he had no strength in his legs, they felt ready to give way beneath him and never hold him up again.

"Not yet you're not," said Carlos evilly. Then he laughed, a cold, malice filled laugh.

"I trust you remember Miss Evelyn Willuns." Sands' head snapped up. He ignored the spinning feeling this caused.

"I thought so," said Carlos.

"Where is she?" Sands asked panic stricken unable to stop the question from escaping his lips.

"Ah," said Carlos speaking with the same cruel amusement as Ajedrez had done, "You'll have to find her."

El could not get any closer without the cartel noticing. He was relying on instinct and right now his instinct was telling him to stay put.

Sands was thrown to the floor and that's when he heard the quiet groan. He was desperate to hear the noise again so he had a chance to locate the source. It sounded again, fainter this time but that didn't matter. He knew where it was coming from. He crawled forwards ignoring the scornful remarks from the cartel as he groped forwards to find the one person in his whole life that he had ever loved.

"You'll have to find her," Carlos repeated, he was mocking him but Sands forgot to care. All he wanted was to find her in the darkness because he was sure that it was Evelyn, so sure he would have bet everything on it. She was out there somewhere, he just couldn't see her.

The floor was cold to touch, or maybe he was just cold and it was spreading from his fingertips to the ground around him. Evelyn had groaned once more but, disorientated by the jeering above him and the numbing pain in his body, Sands had lost her location. Carlos was next to him, he could feel the man's presence beside him. He was looking down at him, he was smiling, he liked this. Sands felt very close to collapse.

"What's the matter Sands?" asked Carlos with mock concern.

"Fuck you," breathed Sands and as soon as he had said it Carlos kicked him hard in the ribs. The air was gone from his lungs and so was anything holding the pain back. This time he cried out and, from his hiding place, El heard him.

El's blood chilled. Sands was being tortured just as he had suspected but going in guns blazing right now would only get them both killed. That would be pointless. He sat tight and tried not to hear the sounds coming from the room only a few metres away.

The cartel backed off. Sands was on his back now. Every part of him was aching. Footsteps, a single set, walked towards him. He already recognised them as belonging to Carlos.

"However did you survive?" he asked, "You're pathetic." Sands could not respond.

"Tell me," said Carlos in a playful tone, "Did you really think you could save her?" There came the sound of muffled screaming and someone struggling ineffectually.

"Did you?!" Carlos shouted his voice rising like that of a mad man. Sands heard the muffled voice again and it stirred something inside of him. He rolled over and tried to stand. Carlos was watching, he was standing close by.

"That's it," he said with a laugh, "You're getting warmer." Sands could not get up so he gave that idea up. He crawled forwards thinking as he did so that he would give up being able to stand again if it meant he could reach her, if it meant she was alright.

"If only you could see yourself," said Carlos following Sands' shaky progress easily. Sands forced himself in the direction he thought he had heard Evelyn but he wasn't at all sure he was going the right way, his senses seemed to be dulled. He couldn't see how much blood he had lost when they had reopened his stomach wound but he knew it must be a lot by now. Carlos laughed again and some sixth sense warned Sands just in time. Carlos went to kick Sands again but Sands dropped low to the floor. When his foot hit nothing but air Carlos' eyes widened, the momentum carried him forwards and he fell onto the floor in an ungraceful heap. Seconds before the rest of the cartel pounced on him Sands' fingertips brushed against something. He did not have time to check but as the cartel lifted him to his feet he was certain he had just touched Evelyn's hand.

There was an awful lot of noise going on, shouting and cursing. El shifted his position from behind the pile of wooden crates next to the closed door. They would not be able to hear him move over that racket. It was almost time.

They were holding Sands while Carlos got to his feet. Carlos was beyond livid. His face had gone the colour of beetroot and he was shouting curses in both English and Spanish. He had been embarrassed by a critically injured blind man. The thought almost made Sands smile. He waited until Carlos' voice was at its loudest which meant his face was right in front of his own. The cartel had been holding him only to keep him from falling until Carlos reached him; they had not thought he would need restraining. As Sands' fist collided with Carlos' nose they realised they had been wrong but soon they had something else to worry about. As Carlos fell back, blood streaming from his face, the door to the room opened with a bang. The cartel turned to see a man pointing two guns at them, it was the last thing the four cartel members surrounding Sands ever saw.

More cartel members flooded in as El Mariachi retreated to a safer location and continued shooting. In all the confusion no one paid any attention to Sands as he dragged himself over to where Evelyn lay, a trail of scarlet marking his way. His fingers found her arm and they closed around her wrist. She wasn't moving. Gun fire and several small explosions made it impossible for Sands to hear anything as subtle as breathing so he tried to find a pulse but his hands were shaking too badly to be useful. It was very tempting to lie down next to Evelyn and sleep but Sands was still with it enough to know he couldn't let himself do that.

"Evelyn," he said his voice fearful, "Wake up." He shook her slightly but did not have the energy to do it again. Evelyn remained still. Sands felt as if someone had just turned everything off. This was a darkness deeper than anything Sands had ever known. If Evelyn did not wake up all the lights would go out forever.

"Please wake up Evelyn," he begged. He couldn't have been too late, he just couldn't have been. If only they hadn't run, if only he'd fought the cartel instead of letting Evelyn's panic make him go against his normal reaction. He took both her hands in his own. He couldn't tell whether it was hers that were as cold as ice or his own. A bullet whistled close by and Evelyn woke.

Sands felt her chest rise and fall deeply. It felt like someone was breathing life into him. Christ, she was alive, she was ok. Just then something skidded across the floor and Sands heard a thud and droplets of something warm hit his face. The item that had skidded came to rest within easy reach of Sands' good hand. He reached for it already knowing what it would be. He picked up the gun. Now it was his turn to play.

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A/N: No cliffhanger, see, I'm not mean all the time. :D! If the switching POVs was confusing let me know, I read it through but you know, it's hard to objectively read your own story.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

(Sylvia: Getting better all the time? You're too sweet! I'm very glad you're still enjoying it. You like Sands suffering, huh? Well, I hope you liked this chapter then. :) I see El as a caring person generally speaking. And don't worry about the whole email thing, I have problems trusting as well or at least I used to a lot. I'll continue to reply at the end of this fic unless you register at Of course I don't mind long reviews! The longer the better! :D! Thank you for reviewing as always...hope you enjoyed this chapter)


	21. Blind injustice

A/N: Ok...so we're nearly at the end now. Thanks to everyone has read and reviewed this story, it really means a lot to me. It's been a fabulous day for writing (cold, gloomy and wet) so here is the next chapter.............

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_Chapter 20: Blind injustice_

Knowing Evelyn was alive meant Sands was no longer afraid. He felt the same rush of adrenaline that he always used to feel when stepping into a dangerous situation. This dulled the pain and enabled him to stand. The noises of the gun fight became much clearer. There was a man to his left with a machine gun; he was dead before he hit the ground. Sands moved fluently. El caught sight of him and his mouth fell open. The man was bleeding profusely, he could see blood all over the floor, most of it Sands'. He was probably dying and yet he was still shooting like the professional he had once been.

Evelyn could hear loud noises some of which were so loud she longed to clamp her hands over her ears to protect them from the sound. The thing was she couldn't seem to raise her arms. Her body felt heavy like someone had swapped her blood for lead while she was unconscious. Her head throbbed from where the cartel had hit her to knock her out. When she opened her eyes coloured circles began to dance on the ceiling. It was a while before they faded away and she was able to make out the dull grey paint above her. Then something whizzed past her eyes, it was fast and small; a bullet. Oh god, she was in the middle of a gunfight. She sat up sharply and bit back a cry of pain. She was sure she had broken at least one rib. Carlos had hit her himself. He had been going to kill her when the warning had gone up about intruders. She had hoped to see who they were but they had knocked her out but she could see them now. One was a man she didn't recognise. He was darting in and out of the doorway skilfully avoiding the bullets that were flying his way. His movements were accompanied by a metallic jingling which came from the buckles on his trousers. The other intruder took Evelyn's breath away. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from calling out his name. It was Sands, her Sands. How could she have ever thought him dead?!

Sands' sunglasses were not present but Evelyn barely noticed. His face was set in an expression of pure hatred. There were spots of blood on his forehead which contrasted vividly against his white skin. He had never looked more deadly. He stood perfectly still, legs apart, gun cocked and then like a snake strikes its' prey his head turned in the direction of his victim, he took aim and fired. He did not miss. The dark clothing hid the blood pouring from him so Evelyn did not know he was hurting, nothing showed in his face. Evelyn presumed the blood on the ground was from the dead cartel members that were now littered everywhere. She was so happy to see Sands that she did not remember what had happened to him a week ago, she did not remember the injury Sands had sustained. All she cared about was that he was in front of her now, and he had come to save her when all hope should have been lost.

The cartel's numbers began to fall. At their peak there had been twenty, only seven now remained. Evelyn had manoeuvred herself into the corner. She carefully avoided breathing too deeply so the pain in her chest did not sharpen. She watched Sands, her heart swelling at the sight of him. Oh, he was very much alive and he was saving her life. One of the cartel men looked his way. Evelyn did not have time to be worried. The man's eyes glazed, Sands had put a bullet in his skull. As the man fell Sands smiled. Not the beautiful smile he gave Evelyn but the sinister smile of someone who has just killed and liked it. Evelyn was so busy watching him that she didn't notice someone approach her until it was too late.

El threw his empty gun down and grabbed another one from his belt not a moment too soon. The man in front of him was a split second away from pulling the trigger when El shot the man's kneecaps into oblivion, a neat trick he had used on General Marquez himself. The man sunk to the floor shrieking but before El could put the man out of his misery Sands had done the job for him. He looked over at the agent intending to catch his eye, but he looked away quickly feeling a little sick. Fortunately he was distracted by two cartel members who were coming at him with automatic weapons. El wasted no time. He dived out of the doorway closely followed by the two men.

Sands had run out of bullets. He had just walked over to a dead body intending to search it for a suitable gun when someone cleared their throat. Sands felt a non existent weight fall upon his shoulders. He was an expert at voice recognition by now and that voice he knew though no words had been spoken. Sands turned towards the sound slowly.

"Put your hands in the air Agent Sands," said Carlos, his voice thick from his broken nose. Sands did not move.

"I said put your hands in the air," said Carlos his voice shaking with rage. Still Sands did not move. Carlos gave a dry laugh.

"Perhaps you would be more cooperative if you could see me," he said.

"Perhaps," said Sands, "But I doubt it." Again Carlos laughed. It was the only sound coming from inside the room now.

"Do you see who I'm holding a gun to Agent Sands?"

"Funny," said Sands dryly, "Does it look like I have eyes to you?" He might have sounded brave and defiant if it wasn't for the complete and all consuming fear that had just written itself all over his face.

"That's right Sands," said Carlos, "I have your girl, I have your bitch and she's going to die right here in front of you." Everything that had protected Sands from the full horror and pain of the situation fell away from him.

"Do you know why she's going to die?"

"Because you're a fucking..." Sands began weakly.

"Because you love her that's why!" screamed Carlos his voice bounding off the walls. Evelyn whimpered as Carlos pressed his gun barrel hard against her temple.

"Don't hurt her," said Sands and he raised his hands in the air. It physically hurt him to do it but he kept them there ignoring the pain, it didn't matter any more what happened to him.

"What would you do to keep her safe Sands?" Carlos asked his playful tone back with a vengeance.

"Anything," replied Sands flatly. His voice was failing along with the rest of him. Evelyn was too terrified to notice, Carlos was too carried away to care.

"I'm going to kill her," Carlos said his voice rising excitedly, "It doesn't matter what you do. You're going to have to listen to her die Sands." Sands felt himself swaying on the spot but he had heard something to force himself to keep upright. He had heard the Mariachi's movement.

"Are you listening Sands?" Carlos asked only now becoming aware that Sands was weakening dramatically.

"Always," said Sands, "Are you?" Simultaneous guns were fired deafening everyone in the room. When the smoke cleared Evelyn saw that Carlos had been shot right through the heart. El's gun dropped to the floor. Evelyn looked from Carlos to Sands with a smile on her face but the smile died at once.

Sands stayed standing for only a few seconds after the shot before his legs gave way. Evelyn shot one more look at Carlos and saw the gun still clutched in his dead hand was smoking.

"No!" There was nothing in the world that could have stopped her from reaching Sands in that moment. He was lying with one hand pressed against his stomach where Evelyn could now see blood soaking through his shirt. His hand was already covered with it. But he hadn't been shot in the stomach; he had been shot in the chest. Evelyn could see where the bullet had entered, more blood was pouring from there and there was already a thin line running down from his mouth. It was as if everything else had disappeared. To Evelyn, in that moment, Sands was the whole world.

"Oh god," said Evelyn as she sank down beside him, "Oh god, Sands, please speak to me, please." A small smile appeared on Sands' ruined face but he did not speak. Evelyn took hold of his hand, and was alarmed to find it chillingly cold. She wrapped her arms around Sands and brought him up to a gentle sitting position. He was trembling but Evelyn knew that it was not from fear. He was trembling from the effort of staying alive.

"It's going to be alright," said Evelyn her voice high and barely controlled.

"I don't think...," began Sands.

"Sssh," said Evelyn as she rocked him very gently and tried to contain a powerful rush of emotion. She couldn't let him tell her what she already knew, she would break.

"Fuck you," said Sands very softly, "I rescue you and you tell me to shut up." Evelyn's throat was too tight for laughter.

"We need to get out of here," she said and she tried to help Sands up.

"Nonono," he said quickly his breath coming in short gasps, "God no." Evelyn ceased at once. Sands gave her a quick smile, she was worried that she had hurt him and he wanted to tell her that was not the case. Evelyn clung to him, if she had laid her head down her body would have covered the hole Carlos' last bullet had made. Sands' dark clothes continued to hide the damage but they were soaked with blood, more blood than anyone should lose at one time, more blood than Evelyn had ever seen on a person still living.

Long moments passed, Evelyn could not bring herself to speak, far worse than silence was the thought of saying goodbye. She just held onto Sands and listened to his pained breathing hoping and praying that something would happen, something to make it all right again. That was when Sands spoke. His voice was the same as ever but it was punctuated with frequent pauses caused by sharp spasms of pain some of which were in rhythm with his breathing.

"Did El smoke the fucker?" he asked. Evelyn looked round and noticed the Mariachi for the first time since Sands had fallen. He was bending down checking Carlos' pulse. He straightened up, blood on his fingers. He nodded once.

"Yes," said Evelyn, "He's dead." Sands smiled slightly.

"Good," he said and for a terrifying instant Evelyn thought that would be it, the last thing she ever heard Sands say. He grimaced as fire shot through him but Evelyn was not about to let him leave.

"It's going to be alright Sands," she said trying to inject her high, shaky voice with confidence, "We're going to get you out of here and everything's going to be alright."

"Not so sure about that," said Sands calmly. He felt as if the world was draining away like when a basin full of water has the plug pulled out. Everything was spiralling towards oblivion but it was happening slowly so it felt like the seconds had been bewitched to play out in slow motion. Evelyn's throat had closed so she could not say anything for a moment.

"Please tell me you're going to be alright," she said at last and the first of her tears fell large and warm. She had never been more frightened in her whole life. Why had she been scared of her own death?

Sands could feel his own blood soaking his hand, he could feel the lightening bolts shooting through him from the bullet wound, it was too much and he knew it. The gun shot wound had sealed his fate, and he couldn't lie to her.

"It wasn't your fault," he said, "I put in danger and I got you out, so it wasn't your fault, right?" Evelyn was nodding, tears falling from her face.

"I'm blind Evelyn, you might want to give me some sort of audio answer."

"Ok," said Evelyn although it sounded more like a hiccup.

"I was going to tell you when we got home," said Sands and there was more than a hint of regret in his voice, "But you drove her away, Ajedrez, no more nightmares."

"What?" asked Evelyn bewildered, "How do you know?"

"I just do," said Sands. His voice was failing again. "I love you Evelyn." Only in her dreams had Evelyn ever heard those words from Sands, she had never expected he would actually say them.

"I love you too," she said her voice little more than a squeak now. Sands smiled and then shuddered. He felt Evelyn's grip around him tighten. She seemed to be hoping she could hold him so tight that nothing would be able to take him away but it was not to be. There were no more words. His life was slipping away from her like grains of sand through her fingers and there was nothing she could do. Evelyn felt Sands' wounded chest continue to rise and fall before he fell limp in her arms.

"No. Sands?" she said as she laid him down on the cold floor. His head fell to one side, his lips slightly open as if in the process of breathing but no air inflated his lungs.

"Sands? Please Sands" Evelyn said again and she pressed her lips to his transferring her air to him. But nothing she could do could bring Sands back.

El watched as Evelyn gathered Sands back into her arms and rocked back and forth her sobs restrained and silent. He knew she was holding back, it wouldn't be long. The terrible truth hit Evelyn like a dead weight. He was dead. Sands was dead. She screamed and collapsed on top of Sands her sobs erupted from her. They were so wretched and so full of pain that they reduced the great El Mariachi to tears. It was as if her heart was being torn in two to remain that way forever. She had only ever loved one man and she held that man in her arms, his blood drying upon wounds that would never heal.

El suddenly heard a noise that was different to Evelyn's grief. His insides froze. Footsteps. Whoever it was would have no trouble locating them, they could just follow Evelyn's cries of anguish. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. He pulled his gun and waited as the footsteps got closer. Someone stepped into the doorway. El squeezed the trigger but pulled his gun away just in time.

"Senor Mariachi," said Nino as he appeared his eyes wide and fearful, "I brought ambulance people." El could have kissed the boy. He moved to block Nino's view of the room and hurried him away to get the medical crews hoping that the boy's efforts had not been in vain.

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A/N: I'm really sorry :( ....(don't hate me)....one more chapter to go... 

(Sylvia: Thank you for reviewing as always. I promise I wasn't offended by any of your comments. I appreciate constructive critiscm, in fact, I'm surprised more people did not point out similar weaknesses. Your first question was regarding El. My answer is that the cartel only knew there was an intruder, they didn't know there were two people, and once they found Sands (or rather he found them) they got distracted and believed he was the one causing all the trouble. You're right, they probably would have searched for El but El is hiding anyway...does that sound a little more feasible? If not I'm sorry, I tend to get caught up in the story and forget about a little thing called being realistic. Your second thing was Sands reaction to Carlos' mockery. Sands wanted to buy time and if that meant sacrificing himself on the alter of dignity (ten things I hate about you quote there) then he was prepared to do it because in his current condition he would be unable to fight at all. But yeah, it isn't typical tough guy Sands...sorry. I think they were the two things. And please mention stuff like that again if it bothers you...I can't promise to change it but I'll take it all into consideration. I hope you manage to register and I can be fairly sure you're not stupid so don't even think it for one second. And as for quick updates...it's a pleasure. ;) ).


	22. Epilogue

A/N: Here it is, the last chapter...I'm really sorry that it's so short, I just knew this is how I wanted it to end......I hope you enjoy it!

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_Epilogue_

She wouldn't let him go; she would never let him go. Hands were trying to prise Evelyn off Sands but she wasn't letting them win. Tears blinded her and she didn't hear the kind but urgent voices telling her they were here to help. In the end it took the touch of a small boy to loosen her grip. Nino led Evelyn to the waiting ambulance and sat beside her. Evelyn was aware of nothing but grief. It was like someone had pulled a dark curtain around her separating her from the rest of the world. It was Nino who pulled that curtain back and forced her to see the light.

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"What the fuck are you doing?" Evelyn looked up and shielded her eyes from the sun. She wiped her paint covered hand on her already dirty overall. 

"I'm painting," she replied as she hooked a strand of loose hair over her ear.

"Then what's that god awful racket?"

"The radio," replied Evelyn easily making no movement to turn it down. She looked over at the porch where Sands was sitting. He was wearing that shirt she really liked. It made him look like a cowboy. He was looking put out that she had not turned the music down yet but before he could come up with some insult to throw at her she turned it off completely.

"Ah," said Sands with a triumphant smile, "Much better." Evelyn smiled and put down her paintbrush. She removed her apron and hung it on a corner of her easel. Sands heard her approaching. She sat down next to him. His hand found hers and settled there.

He had only been home for a week after spending over a month in hospital. After thinking she had lost him Evelyn had been forced to endure an agonising week where Sands' life had hung in the balance but she had not been alone. Nino had been with her, his face quick to smile if he thought it would help and always ready to run any errand anyone asked of him. It was thanks to him that Sands was alive at all, the staff at the hospital had told them that Sands would have certainly died without the prompt medical attention he received. Evelyn knew there was nothing she could do to thank Nino for what he did but she vowed that if ever the boy wanted anything she would provide it and she had a feeling Sands would do the same. Even El had stayed, just until Sands had regained consciousness, then he had melted away as quietly as he had arrived. He did not even give Evelyn a chance to thank him. The look on her face when she was talking to Sands was thanks enough. When told El had disappeared Sands offered his usual blunt assessment.

"Without so much as a get well card, does he have no manners at all?" Nino had started to laugh and the corners of Sands' mouth had twitched. That was when Evelyn was sure things were going to be alright after all.

It had been a slow recovery, Nino and Evelyn had made sure of that. Sands had snapped at them but it had been half hearted. He was only too glad to be told not to move. Evelyn's ribs had healed well and she had been pronounced fit long before Sands was allowed to go home. Sands was unconscious when the doctors had been examining her so he still didn't know her secret but she would have to tell him soon. She had almost told him the day he had come round because that was the day the doctor had given her the good news that everything was ok but she decided it was more important to have Sands back to full health before he had to deal with anything else.

Not once had Evelyn woken up to Sands' screaming since the day with the cartel, but she had still asked him whether the nightmares really had gone just to make sure.

"I knew you didn't believe me," he had said and Evelyn had known it was true. Ajedrez was gone at long last.

Evelyn realised she had been staring at Sands for quite some time and he had not bitten her head off yet so she decided to continue. He was wearing dark glasses again but the funny thing was Evelyn did not mind it when he took them off any more.

"Ok," said Sands with the air of someone who was at the end of their patience, "You've been gawking at me for quite long enough now, you got something to say peaches or are you just speechless coz I'm so god damn gorgeous?" She had known it was coming and she laughed.

"Hmm," she said playfully, "Probably the latter." Sands looked surprised.

"Fair enough," he said casually but Evelyn knew he was pleased. He lit a cigarette wincing ever so slightly when he put the lighter back on the table. The smoke curled upwards.

"I love you Sands," said Evelyn like she did every day. Sands continued to smoke with only the slightest change in expression. She had expected this too. He had not told her he loved her again after his dying confession but she knew one day he would tell her again, she did not mind waiting. She was only too glad that the chance to wait had not been taken from her that day with the cartel.

"Where's Nino?" Sands asked. He had not hidden his affection for the kid as much recently.

"He's making lunch," replied Evelyn.

"I thought he was going to see his family."

"He doesn't want to," said Evelyn lightly.

"Why?" demanded Sands.

"Because he says we're the family he loves the most." That shut Sands up, for a little while at least. The kid had saved his life...again. How the hell did he keep doing that? Sands reached for his lighter again but his fingers brushed against something else.

"What's that?" he asked his hand hovering close to the object. It felt plastic, about the size of a toothbrush or something. Evelyn felt a rush of nerves, she suddenly felt quite ill. Sands fingers ran along the object, he definitely did not recognise it.

"Is it yours?" he asked Evelyn turning his head towards her as if looking in her eyes.

"Er...yeah," Evelyn said, "Yep." Sands heard the nervousness in her voice and immediately his curiosity about the object deepened. Before he might have shouted at Evelyn and demanded she tell him what it was but his temper remained passive.

"Well, what is it then?" he asked, "Something art related?"

"No," said Evelyn, "It's something I need to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

"Um...yeah," said Evelyn her hands twisting in her lap, "It's a pregnancy test." Sands' hands flew away from it as if it had burnt him.

"A what?" he asked in a shocked whisper. Evelyn found a smile fighting to break out on her face even though she was terrified.

"A pregnancy test," she repeated, "And it's positive."

THE END

* * *

A/N: That's it. :) I really hope you liked it. 

Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed my story! I have loved every single one of your comments and I feel very lucky to have recieved so many. (oh, and I promise this ending was the one I had planned, it wasn't influenced by anyone...not that you guys didn't try your best ;) ).

You have all made me feel really special, I cannot thank you enough. It was a pleasure to write this story for myself and an even greater pleasure to post it for you.

Next story will be POTC...please check it out if you feel like it :).

Special thanks go to: **E.S. Young**: For all your wonderful comments, and your long reviews. You inspired me to post this fic and you continue to inspire me with your wonderful writing. Thank you.


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